Bedtime Stories
by Fate Pwns You
Summary: Bedtime Stories are things to keep people entertained, right? Well, let's see how the role holders and a certain foreigner can keep up with these wild tales when they become the stars of each story they're thrown. Each chapter different from the next!
1. Wonderful Wizard of Wonderland!

**Drabble series at last! I'm dedicating this to my fantastic friends at the forums! My HnKnA buddies especially :)**

**Summary: Bedtime Stories are things to keep people entertained, right? Well, let's see how the role holders and a certain foreigner keep up with these wild tales when they become the stars of each story they're thrown. Each chapter different from the next! Different pairings per chapter I suppose.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HnKnA or the fairy tales that will be used in here.**

**Idea in here presented by: That Masked Chick**

Edited 11/1/13:

Another edit. So yes, basically the first couple chapters of this suck royally because of the fact I made them so many years ago, but the newer chapters have that new car smell to them, so feel free to skip these and go straight to chapter 8, because that and beyond are more up to standards especially in terms of grammar. But yes, hope you like the fic regardless haha. Hopefully in the future, I'll get the drive to actually redo these earlier chapters.

**-.-.-.-**

**Chapter 1: Wonderful Wizard of Wonderland!**

"Big brother!" A young faceless girl whined as she tugged on her older brother's sleeve, "You're supposed to tell me a story!" She complained longingly. She sat up in her bed pouting at the older faceless boy.

Her brother sighed, "Okay, sis… What kind of story do you want to hear?"

The girl grinned a jubilant grin that matched her bright yellow pajamas, "Anything is fine with me!"

This made her brother scratch his cheek before he leaned on the chair that he sat on by the girl's bed side, "Sure. How about I tell you about the adventures of Dorothy and Toto as they went out to see the Wonderful Wizard of Wonderland…?"

-.-

_There was a girl named Dorothy._

Alice gave a shriek as she fell down to the floor. Rubbing her head as she rose from the floor she studied her surroundings with wide eyes, "Where am I!? Wasn't I just at the Tower? Why am I wearing this!?" She looked down at her new clothes that greatly opposed to the one she went to bed with.

_She also had a dog named Toto._

"Where'd that voice come from!?" Alice asked, her tone immensely alert while she looked up into the sky.

**No! She had a bunny!**

_Sis, come on, I'm the one telling the story! But whatever… She had a bunny named Toto._

"What!?" Alice questioned in confusion once more right before Peter in his rabbit form suddenly appeared in her arms partially asleep.

"What the hell is going on!?" Alice demanded.

_Well, Dorothy… I'm telling my sister a story. Your story to be exact. Now please just follow along and stay calm._

"Stay calm!? I was dropped out of my home into this bright neon place that looks like a children book with Peter in my hands and ominous voices from the sky telling me what to do! Don't you dare tell me to stay calm." Alice hissed at the sky through narrowed eyes.

_Someone's snappy this morning…_

"What happened?" Peter asked groggily.

"We're entertaining some bastard. Rise and shine." Alice deadpanned as Peter fully awoke, "Huh? How'd I get here? In Alice's arms in this form?"

_On with my story! So Dorothy and Toto looked around at their surroundings when they realized they weren't in the land of Clover anymore._

"No shit." Peter mumbled. "My name isn't Dorothy." Alice threw in.

_Ahem! So that's when all the munchkin children came out their houses because the two had killed the Wicked Witch!_

As the voice said this, all the houses that surrounded the place were opened and little faceless children all came out singing,

"No! No! This is all wrong!" Alice cried as the kids circled her and Peter while singing about how the witch was dead.

_Enough singing! So that's when, Glinda the Good Witch came floating down from the sky in her awesomely colorful bubble._

"Is this supposed to be some half assed attempt at re-creating The Wizard of Oz except using the role holders?" Alice blankly questioned before the bubble flew down from the sky and the children were silenced. When the bubble popped, Vivaldi stumbled out in a light pink dress holding a wand.

"Vivaldi? As Glinda the Good Witch? This narrator obviously has no sense of other people's character." Peter remarked as Vivaldi adjusted herself before walking over to Alice.

"We have no idea what's going on. Perhaps you can fill us in Alice…" Vivaldi mumbled.

_No! Don't talk to her yet! You're supposed to give her the ruby red slippers!_

"What slippers?" Vivaldi deadpanned, she crossed her arms over her poufy dress, "We see no ruby red slippers."

"She's right. There are none." Alice supported while looking around.

_Ugh! The slippers that the Wicked Witch of the East had! The ones sticking out from under the house you came in Dorothy!_

"First off, I didn't come here in a house; I fell from the sky on my ass. Second, my name isn't Dorothy." Alice seethed.

Vivaldi walked over to the house that spontaneously appeared, "We can't take those shoes." She said as she inspected the shoes that stuck out from the house.

_Why can't you?_

"They are not ours." Vivaldi shrugged, "Stealing is low… Especially for footwear that are as hideous as those. Our tailor can make slippers better than those."

_Stop being so difficult! Take the damn shoes! The Witch is dead! She wants Dorothy to have them! Okay!?_

Vivaldi narrowed her eyes at the sky before waving her wand at the shoes making them appear in her free hand. Next she walked over to Alice who had put Peter into the picnic basket she had acquired.

"Now what?" Vivaldi crossed her arms.

_Give Dorothy the shoes._

Carelessly Vivaldi threw the shoes at Alice's feet earning a 'Hey' from the foreigner.

_Okay, that's when young Dorothy put on the ruby red slippers._

Alice huffed, "For the last time! My name is not Dorothy! And I'm not putting on those slippers!" She gave the shoes a kick to prove her point.

_Why not?_

"They're ugly, look uncomfortable, and they clash with my outfit. Now get out my face about it." She retorted as the voice grumbled,

_Why are you so difficult!?_

Peter twitched in response, "Can we just get the story moving!? I want to get back to Cloverland."

_Before you do that, you have to meet the Wizard of Wonderland._

"Then let us meet him!" Alice and Peter shouted in unison.

_You get to meet him after you meet the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion! Which will happen down the yellow brick road. But you can't do that unless Dorothy puts on those slippers._

Vivaldi and Peter looked at Alice expectedly causing the brunette to roll her eyes before she put the slippers on. "Happy!?"

_Very. Now go down the yellow brick road._

"Come on Peter." Alice said while snatching up the picnic basket and jogging down the swirly yellow brick road with the munchkin children cheering.

_-.-_

"Where the hell is the scarecrow? How come I see no scarecrow? Why did you lie?" Alice questioned plainly as she and Peter continued walking down the yellow brick road which was now surrounded by nothing but corn stalks.

"Oh! Hi, Alice! Hi, Mr. Peter! Fancy seeing you two here." Ace's voice said from above.

Alice and Peter both looked up to see the Knight of Hearts hanging on a plank, dressed as a scarecrow.

"Ace! What are you doing up there?" Alice exclaimed before she put down the basket with Peter in it and immediately moved to help the brunet get down.

"Oh, you know… Just hanging." The man answered with a smirk on his face, though his pun earned him nothing but dual blank looks from both the White Rabbit and foreigner right before Alice's tinkering with the nails that held him to the board caused him to fall to the ground.

_That's when the scarecrow declared that he needed a brain._

Ace got off the floor while dusting off his pants, "So what are you two doing here?" He asked completely ignoring the narrator.

"I'm not even sure. All I know is that we're going to meet the Wonderful Wizard of Wonderland." Alice sighed.

"You don't say! Well, I need to go visit him too!" Ace nodded with a grin, "I'll escort you!"

…_That's when the scarecrow declared that he needed a brain._

"You sure you know where you're going?" Alice asked unsurely as the Knight winked at her, "Positive! Now let's go!" Ace laughed before he took her free hand and began walking.

Alice stared at him blankly, "Uh... Ace, this is the direction Peter and I just came from. We're supposed to go the other way."

The Scarecrow froze for a moment before he turned around, a smile still on his face, "Then let's go this way!"

-.-

"Next we're supposed to meet the Tin Man if I'm not mistaken." Alice mumbled to herself as Ace followed after her admiring the environment all around them in wonder and Peter for the most part was only squabbling about how the two of them should ditch Ace, but Alice ignored him.

"Hey! Isn't that Julius!?" Ace grinned while he pointed down the road.

Julius stood standing in the middle of the brick road looking very pissed off.

"Hi, Julius!" The Scarecrow shouted before waving over at the silver dressed man hugely, "Hey, hey, Julius! Over here!"

"Slow down Ace!" Alice cried when Ace began pulling her along with their arms still intertwined.

"Finally someone sane." Julius mumbled as the trio approached him, "Mind explaining what's going on? Like why I suddenly was dropped out of my office and poofed here?" The mortician questioned Alice who then sighed, "Well… We're story book characters."

"Unfortunately, but since I'm here with Alice its fine with me!" Peter chirped happily.

Julius cocked a brow, "You're kidding, right? This is a joke, right?"

"Nope. We're literally the stars in 'The Wizard of Oz'." Alice irritably said before glaring up at the sky.

_Correction. You're literally starts in 'The Wonderful Wizard of Wonderland.' Silly Dorothy! Miscorrections are for the Scarecrow!_

"Miscorrections isn't even a word!" Alice growled in frustration.

_Anyways, moving away from the cranky grammar nazi—_

"You're so annoying!" The brunette groaned putting her hands to her ears, Peter nearly fell out the basket that was around her hand as the voice gave a scoff.

_Like I said, that's when the Tin Man decided to join the group in their travels._

"Wait. Why am _I _the Tin Man?" Julius folded his arms over his chest with an irritated expression written on his face.

Realizing this, Ace began laughing uncontrollably, "Haha! Julius is heartless… Or clockless in this case! Haha!"

Julius glowered at him, "Shut up."

"Um… Ace," Alice spoke up easily making Ace slowly cease his laughter, "You're the Scarecrow... Doesn't he need a brain?"

Ace kept a smile on his face as he rolled his eyes, "Tch. Last I checked the Scarecrow needs _bran, _Alice. That just means I need to eat more cereal." He then continued his laughter and teasing comments at Julius as Peter snorted, "A perfect role for a buffoon such as himself."

Alice and Julius shared a look, "Can we please keep moving? I want to go home."

_Okay, now in order for this to work, you guys have to sing as you go down the yellow brick road and forest. Get me?_

The foreigner and Clockmaker both matched faces of disgust, "No." Both stated in unison.

Ace smiled, "Oh! Singing is nice. But I don't know any songs about yellow brick roads."

_All you have to sing is 'We're off to see the wizard! The Wonderful Wizard of Wonderland! Because-because-because! Because of the wonderful things he does!' It's easy!_

"Sweet mother of God! No!" Alice moaned in pain as she clasped both hands on her ears the moment Ace began singing, "Shut up, Ace!" Julius and Peter demanded while glaring at him.

Ace laughed, "Come on, guys! It's fun! We're off to see the wizard! The Wonderful Wizard of Wonderland! Because-because-because! Because of the wonderful things he does! Dee-dum-deedum dee!" He grinned while he locking arms with Alice and Julius.

The brunet then began to skip down the yellow brick road, dragging both of his less than willing companions forward.

"Where the hell is my gun?" Peter questioned through gritted teeth.

_Sorry, Toto, but this is strictly a G rated story. No blood or violence._

"You call Ace's singing G rated!? That tune will probably be stuck in my head for weeks now!" Alice exclaimed through her stumbles as she was still pulled forward by the Knight-turned-Scarecrow.

The red eyed Scarecrow pouted at her though he continued skipping ahead.

**Wait! **

Ace instantly froze in his steps, releasing his arms from his friends, causing the two level headed being to go tumbling and staggering a bit ahead.

_What is it this time…?_

**I need to use the bathroom! Don't continue the story until I come back! **

_You're kidding, right? Just hurry._

"Tch." Julius rolled his eyes before he began walking down the brick road, "I wait for no one." He coldly stated as Ace and Alice ran to catch up.

_Hey! You guys can't go! My sister isn't back yet!_

The trio ignored him as they continued walking down the path, "So… What were you guys doing before you got here?" Alice questioned curiously.

"Camping." "Fixing clocks." "Looking for you."

"Figures…" She sighed, "Ah… Thankfully when we get home we can get back to doing what we were doing. Except for you, Peter."

The foreigner then thoughtfully bit her lips, "Who's left to find?"

Peter and Julius shrugged and Ace put a hand on his chin, "The Cowardly Lion… I wonder who that'll be." He pondered as they kept walking down the brick road disregarding the voice's protest.

**Okay! I'm back, big brother!**

_Urm… Perfect. Well anyways, to pick up where I left off, that's when the trio entered the dark forest…_

"I'm not going in there." Alice defied through narrowed eyes as she looked ahead at the dingy and dark patterned vegetation that laid ahead of the group.

"Why not?" Ace questioned her curiously,

Alice sighed heavily, "Because the stupid narrator will want us to sing that lame part of the movie, 'Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh my!' I refuse." She put the basket to the floor and picked up Peter in her arms snuggly with a pout.

"But we need to get with the Cowardly Lion so we can go home." Julius reasoned reluctantly.

_See. The Tin Man has the right idea._

After a moment of silence, the brunette let out a dejected breath of defeat, "Fine…"

Quickly, she began running forward to catch up to both Julius and Ace who already began walking through.

"I'm not exactly all that afraid of lions, tigers, or bears though. So what else can we say?" Ace asked over at Alice who was hugging closer to Peter in the dark and cringing forest, her face showing clear anxiety on their situation.

Alice gave him a disbelieving look, "How can you not be afraid of those things!?"

"I mean if you know how to climb a tree or where to stab them in the heart they really aren't as scary as people hype them up to be!"

"Stop talking so loudly before something hears you and attacks us!"

Julius looked at him through narrowed eyes, "How about rabbits, cats, and dormice? Since tigers and lions aren't native to the forest." His tone was sarcastic though they made Ace's red eyes sparkle in wonder.

The Knight of Hearts gawked at him, "You're right! Okay, so rabbits, dormice, and cats! Oh my! Come on guys, say it with me!" Ace slung his arms around the two's shoulders.

Alice gave him a nervous look while Peter and Julius glared at him in annoyance.

"Idiot." Peter mumbled and Alice shut her eyes, "You're saying things right in my ear!"

"Oh. So I should say it louder right!? I gotcha! Rabbits and dormice and cats! Oh my! Rabbits and dormice and cats! Oh my! Rabbits and dormice and—" Julius slapped a hand over his mouth with a cross expression causing Alice and Peter to breathe matching sighs of relief.

"Rawr."

_Come on! Make it more convincing!_

"Why am I the stupid lion though?" Boris irritably asked with folded arms as he appeared out the forest to the left of them.

_Because you're already apart of the cat family! Duh._

"Boris! You're the Cowardly Lion?" Alice asked slightly amused and disturbed at the boy who approached the group in a purple lion costume.

"Haha! The kitty is a scaredy cat!" Ace laughed will pointing at the dejected Cheshire Cat.

"I am so humiliated…" He moaned while leaning his head on Alice's shoulder sullenly, "Don't look at me."

Peter glowered up at him instantly, "Get off her, you—" Alice put a hand over Peter's mouth before she sympathetically patted Boris' head with her free hand,

"You're not the only one… But I guess Peter's right; this narrator truly has absolutely _no _judge of character. You basically have the most courage out of everyone in all of Wonderland!" She reassured him sweetly.

"Do you really think so?" He asked sparkly eyed as he raised his head to face her properly.

Alice nodded with a smile his way, "Of course."

Boris grinned before he enveloped her in a hug, "Aw! Thanks, Alice!"

_Hey! Let her go! Keep this G rated! We don't need anyone getting freaky here in the forest, okay?_

"Getting freaky? You call that getting freaky?" Julius deadpanned.

Ace laughed, "I take it he hasn't made it to first base yet."

"He didn't even get up to bat." Boris snickered while rubbing his face up against Alice, "If you want freaky I'd probably do something like this," Boris brought his head down to Alice's neck then proceeded to lightly lick her.

"A-ah!" Alice squeaked out in surprise as she pulled away.

"Why stop there?" Ace smiled while catching Alice from behind in his arms; Alice attempted to squirm out his grasp as the Knight put hands on her chest, "Feeling it is as relaxing as hearing it." He confirmed with a nod,

"Hey! I wanna feel it too!" Boris irritably scowled as he approached the two,

Ace gave him a smirk, "You need to wait your turn."

The brunette still being held began to viciously squirm in Ace's grip, "Let me go!" She cried with one last wiggle and in the process, she ended up tripping on Ace's foot causing the two to go stumbling to the ground.

_Um. Hello! This isn't mushy love-love time with Dorothy, the Scarecrow and Lion! This story actually has a plot! So would you all please!?_

"Looks like we're both falling for each other Alice." Ace smiled at the girl who cringed away, "Let go, Ace! You're squishing Peter!" She said motioning to the white rabbit that was currently being crushed between the two.

Boris glared at them as he folded his arms with a furious pout and Julius gave a groan of annoyance while he turned away from the scene.

"Didn't think Mr. Peter was into me like that!" The Knight snickered before he pulled Alice's head closer to his, "It's really too bad for him because I only love one person." Alice blushed as their faces were inches apart.

_You know what, you perverts? I'm done with this story! Okay! Find out your own damn ending!_

**Ooooh! You cursed! I'm telling Mama!**

_Did I say I'm done? I meant… They're on their own! Now please, just sit down… Mom doesn't need to know… So um… Scene change!_

-.-

"Oof!"

All of them once again fell from the sky, "Why must I always fall on my butt when transporting to different worlds?" Alice darkly asked as she gave Peter a slightly squeeze in her arms. The White Rabbit moaned, "You're hurting me, Alice…"

"Okay… Where are we now?" Boris cautiously questioned as their eyes opened to a new dark scenery.

Ahead of them was Clover Tower that at most, was a mile away, the forest behind them and nothing separating them from the castle but a flower field.

"Hey! Look, it's Clover Tower!" Ace grinned jubilantly before getting off of his butt and pointing ahead.

Julius sighed, "At least that saved us walking time."

"Let's go!" The Scarecrow smiled once again locking arms with Julius and Alice after he yanked them both up from the ground. Alice linked her free arm with one of Boris' and still firmly held Peter in the hand that was intertwined with Ace's.

Ace then proceeded to skip down to the field of flowers though Alice and Julius both resisted, "Um… Ace. You do realize that those flowers will make us sleepy and basically knock us out, right?" Alice nervously asked the Knight as he continued pulling them in,

"What was that, Alice? I can't hear you over how sleepy these flowers are making me… I think I'll just lie down and get knocked out for a bit…" Ace yawned tiredly before he dropped to the floor and evidently began sleeping.

Alice and Julius exchanged looks as Boris fell to the floor, "Yeah guys, I'm tired too… I'll just take a nap for a bit…"

"Alice… I'm just going to sleep for a little… In your arms…" Peter sleepily said before closing his eyes and breathing evenly.

The foreinger shook her head in exasperation, "Geez. You're all just dropping like flies… Are you sleepy yet, Julius?" Alice asked the silver clad man as snow began sprinkling from the sky.

"I've gone without sleep for weeks on end." He said simply without a hint of exhaustion in his eyes.

Alice scratched her cheek, "These ugly shoes are useful…" Calmly, she took a seat down in between Boris and Ace, "Looks like we have to wait for Vivaldi to sense we're in danger and wake them up…" She rolled her eyes as Julius just stared off into space, "But I can't help but wonder… Who was going to be the Wicked Witch of the West?"

As she said this lightning cracked through the sky and a cloud of smoke appeared not too far in the field they were in. Alice and Julius looked at it wide eyed as the smoke began to clear, Blood staggered out the smoke coughing viciously,

"Ugh… Where the hell am I?" He sneered through narrowed eyes as he fanned his eyes away from the smoke.

Alice blinked watching him look around confused and irritation, "Okay. Maybe the narrator has a bit of character judgment." She admitted reluctantly.

_You're the Wicked Witch of West, now take the shoes from Dorothy._

Blood glared at the sky, "No one orders me." He then rested his gaze on Alice and Julius, who were up ahead, "Ah, young miss, perhaps you could inform me why I was suddenly yanked out of my tea party and transported here." He sauntered over to the two with a skeptical gaze around,

"To put it simply, my shoes, you need to take them off." Alice commanded while rising to her feet.

The raven haired man glowered at her shoes, "I'm afraid high heels won't look as lovely on me as they do you."

Alice twitched in anger, "So much for you being a Gay Hatter…" She mumbled quietly before clearing her throat, "Please! This is just for the plot so we can all go home!"

"Even if I did take them off, why would I want them? They're not that good looking." Blood crossed his arms as he turned around and looked at the Tower ahead.

Alice narrowed her eyes at him at the same time that Julius suddenly thought of something with widened eyes, "Wait! Dupre, you're the Wicked Witch of the West, right?"

"Wicked? Possibly. A Witch? No." He answered the Clockmaker with a stoic expression.

Alice looked at him confused, "What are you getting at?"

"Maybe he can teleport us straight inside to see the wizard." Julius answered skeptically.

"Makes sense to me." Alice shrugged before looking at the Hatter expectantly, "Now, do your magic, Blood!"

Blood stared at her blankly, "Funny joke. I never believed the young miss' sense of humor to be so expendable."

"I'm not joking. Now just wave that pretty wand of yours and get us inside." Alice glared at him.

He returned the look, "Now why in the world would I do that?"

"Why wouldn't you!? You want to go home right!"

"Not if I have to degrade myself to such a pitiful degree."

"Stop being such an egotistical jerk and do it!"

"No."

"… Say that again."

"No."

"(Beep) (beep) (beep)!"

"…"

"(Beep) (beep) (Beep) (Beep)! (Beep) (Beep)!"

Alice stopped as her face now turned red from her shouts, Blood and Julius looked at her with shocked eyes, "… Fine." Blood reluctantly agreed through gritted teeth, "But _no one _hears about this. You understand?"

"Very much so." Alice scowled.

Blood groaned as he took the wand out from inside his witch's cape. Quickly he gave it a slight wave while Alice and Julius looked at him expectantly. The mafia boss put it back in his cape and began walking away silently.

"Hey! Where are you going! What was that!?" She asked furiously.

Blood turned his head around, "Have fun. And try not to stare, Monrey." He smirked at him.

The duo looked at him confused before suddenly Alice's Dorothy themed clothes suddenly popped off leaving her in nothing but her bra and underwear, Julius held his hand to his face before he turned away from her view, his entire face beginning to glow red.

Alice gave a blood curling scream as she used Peter to cover herself, "BLOOD, YOU PERVERT!" As she voiced this, the raven head's echoing laugh went through the meadow, "That spell was made especially for you, my pretty."

"I hate you!" She blushed furiously, happy that no one else was there to see her.

**Why is she in her bathing suit? There's no pool around!**

_Oh, crap! I thought my censors would be enough— Darn that Witch! Look away Sis! This isn't for yours eyes to see!_

Alice gave a shout of frustration. "Do a damn scene change! Now!" She ordered hastily.

_I… Um… S-s-sure…_

-.-

"Ugh… Where am I?" Boris groggily asked as they stood at the front entrance to Clover Tower. He and Ace looked around confused as Alice, still only in her undergarments stomped to the door.

"Open the damn door!" She shouted while banging on it with her free hand.

Peter moaned as he woke up, "Alice…"

"Who goes there!?" A faceless asked opening part of the door at the top to peer down at them, Alice gave the worker a look of pure death that went straight down to his soul, "Open. The. Door. Now."

"B-But! No one is supposed to see the wizard… I-I'm sorry." He stuttered out in fear.

Alice growled, "Did I ask you to see the damn wizard!? No! I asked you to open the God damn Christ forsaken door! I'm out here in my damn underwear and stuck with perverted guys who might do devious things to me and you're telling me bullshit! Now do it now before I—"

The worker immediately opened the door as Alice dumped Peter outside before racing in while covering herself. Before any of the guys could understand what was going on, the door slammed right in their faces.

"Wait… Did Alice basically threaten that worker into letting her in?" Boris questioned slowly, "In her bra and underwear…?" Ace cocked his head to the side, "Without letting me go with her!" Peter sulked rejected.

"Long story short. Don't trust Mad Hatters." Julius crossed his arms as he leaned against the door.

-.-

"So… What brings you to the mythical land of Oz, Dorothy?"

Alice stared at the man in the master chair blankly as she stood in his office, after she got new clothes she managed to weave her way through the Tower to Nightmare's office and it just so happened that he was stuck with the role of the Wizard.

Why didn't she see that coming?

"Nightmare, my name's Alice and this isn't Oz... This is Wonderland." She could only gawk at the silver haired incubus that continued smoking his cigar lazily, "I have no idea what you're talking about, silly Dorothy."

She rolled her eyes while she approached him; Nightmare looked at her confused right before she jumped on top his desk making his papers fly everywhere. With a sneer, she tore the cigar out his mouth and glared into his eyes, "Listen here, you stupid caterpillar,"

Nightmare flinched at her words as she continued, "I've been through a lot tonight. And I didn't go through all of it so you could just reject me straight off the bat. So, you're going to tell me how to get back to Cloverland… Otherwise when I'm done with you, you'll be coughing blood out of places blood isn't supposed to come out of," She raised her fist to his face with a darkening glare, "Get me?" She asked with gritted teeth.

"C-calm down, Alice! Geez! I was just getting into character! No need to get physical!" He cried while attempting to move away from her.

Alice got off his desk but her gaze didn't weaken, "So will you tell me how to get back to Cloverland?" She huffed as she crossed her arms.

Nightmare rolled his eyes, "You've read the fairy tale. Just click your heels and say that weird mumbo jumbo."

"That's it?"

"Yup."

"No trick? Just click my heels?"

"Yuh-huh."

"It can't be that easy."

"It is."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Okay… Here goes nothing…" Alice sighed as she backed up to the middle of the room, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home." She clicked her heels together each time she said the phrase.

-.-

"Then what happened!?" The little girl asked wide eyed.

Her brother yawned, obviously more tired than his sister "Everyone died."

Her face cringed in horror as he got up from his seat and went to the door "G-Night!"

_Slam!_

-.-.-.-.-

**Too long for a one-shot in a drabble series! Oh well! I'm an overachiever :'D**

**Tell me what you think, because more reviews means more updates!**


	2. The Little Foreigner!

**I was just recently told that this isn't a drabble series… Damn it. Oh well, **_**I**_** think it is. If you think otherwise… Too bad! Also, there are two different narrators/two sets of siblings that will be telling stories. This is the second one. The only real difference in the pair is that this sister is mean ;A;**

**Idea in here by: That Masked Chick**

**-.-.-.-.-**

**Chapter 2: The Little Foreigner!**

"Oi. Stupid brother." A faceless girl glared at her older brother who walked past her room door.

Her older brother came inside the room curiously, "Something you need?" He questioned curiously. "Yeah. A story. And you're going to tell me one." She stoically stated crossing her arms over her bright pink pajamas.

The faceless boy sweated nervously as he sat at the foot of her bed, "I'm not really good at telling stories though—"

The little girl glared at him before clearing her throat and putting a hand to her heart with a depressed and helpless expression, "Oh, mommy! You won't believe what just happened! All I did was ask my dear and precious older brother to tell me a story and he got so angry with me and slapped me across my face—"

With wide eyes the boy instantly signaled for her to stop, "Okay! Okay! I get it! Story time… I'll just tell you the story about the little foreigner…"

-.-.-

_Okay… So in the vast ocean right, there lived a troubled young mermaid._

"Huh?" Alice rapidly blinked her eyes as she was now inside of an underwater environment. Breathing in once, she realized she was now properly able to get oxygen from the water, panicked she tried to back up from the air bubbles her mouth managed to put out only to discover her legs were acting as one within the water. Shocked, she looked down at her lower body, to discover from the waist down she had a mermaid's tail.

"W-what!?" She screamed out, she instantly made her hands fly to her upper body and this notion made her realize she only had a skimpy sea shell bikini top on, "I'm a mermaid?" She asked horrified at the thought.

Still mortified, she swam backward until her back hit the wall of the grotto.

The impact caused all the items on the shelves to go falling to the bottom of the sandy floor.

_Since I'm too lazy to start this from the beginning, here's a recap. You're Ariel, a young mermaid who is currently obsessed with all things on land. Your Dad, who is king of the sea, hates humans. You're fascinated with them. Also you have two animal companions, a fish named Flounder and a crab named Sebastian._

**I hate flounders and crabs. Make them both hot mermen.**

_B-But! Ugh. Fine._

Before Alice could let another word out suddenly Nightmare and Gray popped out of seemingly thin _water _holding the same exact expression as her.

Both had fish tails, which were dark blue and silver respectively as opposed to her light blue fin.

"What's going on?" Gray cautiously asked while looking around the area the second he realized he was in a foreign territory.

"We're underwater and we're re-creating the Little Mermaid. I'm apparently Ariel, you're Sebastian, and Nightmare is Flounder." Alice blandly answered before folding her arms.

Nightmare yawned as he swam to a nearby rock, "Figures you'd be Sebastian…" The incubus lazily commented, "I just don't know why _I'm _Flounder! Tch. I'm too important for this role. I should be King Triton… These Narrators, I swear…"

"Maybe because you're better suited for Flounder because you're afraid of everything and anything?" Alice sarcastically suggested.

Nightmare scowled at her but said nothing.

"Why are you two so calm about this!? We were just dropped down underwater! And we… We have fins! Shouldn't this be causing a panic!?" The blue haired man asked the two frantically, his golden eyes watching them on the border of hysteria.

Alice and Nightmare exchange knowing glances, "You weren't here for the Wizard of Oz story, so just… Just stick to the flow. The second we reach the end of the story we go home, okay?" Alice swam over to him shakily and put a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down.

"I… I trust you Alice." Gray sighed with a slight smile.

_Aw… How touching! But no seriously Sebastian, Ariel already has a love interest, so hands off. Anyways, start singing about how you wanna go to the surface!_

Alice looked up in disbelief, "Now why would I do that?"

_Because you wanna be human._

"Uh. That's true, but I used to be human before you dropped me in this lifeless ocean." Her lips formed into a scowl.

"Remember Alice, the sooner you listen to the man, the sooner we're outta here." Nightmare informed her while lying on the sandy floor leisurely.

Gray and Nightmare looked at her expectantly as Alice blushed, "But that's a lot to sing! I'm not good at singing either! Can't I just play it on a piano or something?"

Nightmare laughed while Gray sweated with a smile, "I don't think a piano would work underwater."

_No worries. Just at least sing the chorus._

Alice exhaled, "Fine! But don't look at me!" She pointed a finger at Gray and Nightmare who rose their hands up in defense before turning their heads.

The foreigner cleared her throat before looking down at her fin with shut eyes, "Up where they walk, up where they run, up where they stay all day in the sun, wanderin' free, wish I could be part of that world." She shouted out fast, at the end catching a breath of water.

"Was that what you call _singing? _I've heard dying cats with a better tune." Nightmare snickered as he turned back around causing Alice to blush darker.

_Come on! I couldn't find any emotion in that! At least sing it! One more time!_

"No."

_Fine… Then at least look at your trinkets and try to look like you're interested in the human world!_

With a roll of her eyes, Alice began swimming a bit to one of the walls of the grotto and picked up a music box, "I wish I was human. Blah blah blah. This contraption is so interesting. Why can't my temperamental father care about my feelings?" She mocked with a sneer.

_Sebastian! What the heck!? You're supposed to scold her!_

"My name's not Sebastian and what right do I have to scold Alice? She's exercising her freedom of speech." The blue haired man shrugged causing Alice and Nightmare to laugh. The Narrator groaned in frustration.

_But you work for the King of the Sea! Come on! Try to convince her that Underwater is better than on land!_

Gray sheepishly looked at Alice who shrugged. "Alice—"

_Ariel._

"Ariel—"

"Alice." Alice interrupted helpfully.

"_Alice_," The lizard stressed out, "Being underwater is better than being on land."

The brunette swam around the grotto attempting to get used to her tail, "Of course." Her tone was uncaring and her face looked as though she ignored more than half the things he said.

_You two aren't serious, are you?_

"Was there anything in their speech that would say otherwise?" Nightmare rhetorically asked as he and Alice both began swimming in circles.

_I… I… Ugh! Can you guys just swim to the surface already!?_

The three of them all gave each other a look of disbelief. "Oh, believe me, if I could swim outta this dump I would have a long time ago." The incubus indignantly claimed. Alice nodded in agreement.

_Just swim out from the top! Don't you see the fireworks!?_

In response to this, they all looked up to the top of the grotto. Sure enough, the top was opened and through the dark water they could make out different bright colors being reflected in. This was enough to bring a giant grin to the silver haired man's face.

"Oh! Fireworks! Let's go see them, Alice!" Nightmare excitedly took the shocked girls hand. Before he started swimming up, Alice managed to grab Gray's hand and the three began swimming to the surface.

"Swimming like this is so weird…" Alice gasped as their heads went above water.

Gray wiped the water from his face, "It's like your legs are moving as one. Not that bad… Could be worse."

"Look at the fireworks, Alice!" Nightmare hyped obliviously while pointing at the sky.

"Yeah. They're so pretty!" The foreigner gawked in amazement.

_Hello! Don't you people see the huge human ship!? Stop being so concerned about fireworks!_

"What ship?" Gray cocked his eyebrow at the sky.

_The one behind you! And why are you so willing to follow Ariel!? You're supposed to stop her rebellious antics!_

"What rebellious antics? You _told _us to go to the surface." Alice claimed hotly though they all still turned around to look at the ship approaching them, "Guys, I think we should go back underwater. If a human sees us who knows what'll happen." She nodded at her two companions logically.

_No! You want to see humans! Now just start observing the humans on the ship! I swear you won't regret it!_

Alice narrowed her eyes at the sky before she sighed, "In the Little Mermaid, a storm happened right? So I need to save someone I believe…" After she said these words she dived back underwater and began swimming towards the ship,

"Be careful, Alice." Gray said in concern as he swam after her, "Ugh…" Nightmare sighed before following after them.

"Alright, now what do I do?" Alice asked as she looked up at the wooden ship,

_Climb, woman!_

Alice scowled, "Fine." Flipping her wet hair out of her face she put her arms up to climb up while using the wooden boards to make it to the top. Once near the top she took a seat on a platform and sighed, "Now what?"

_Look through that little hole thingy in front of you and observe the humans!_

"Alice! Are you alright up there?" Gray questioned from down below.

Alice looked down and nodded, "Yeah. I'm just being forced to stalk people…" She sarcastically answered back before she put her head to look through the opening to the ship.

Faceless men were doing nothing but laughing with beer and partying. Cringing she continued to observe everything, until one person caught her eye.

"Elliot!" Alice gasped out in surprise at the blonde haired man who was walking around on board with a half full glass of alcohol in his hand.

"What?" Nightmare shouted up to her.

"I think Elliot is supposed to be the prince I save!" Alice responded with a blush.

Gray folded his arms over his chest with an irritated expression and Nightmare lowered his head into the water with a scowl.

"Pst! Elliot!" Alice whispered to the man who continued walking around and conversing, clearly not hearing her.

"For me guys? You shouldn't have. No, seriously. A giant statue of myself is plain creepy." Elliot deadpanned as the crew unveiled a huge stone statue of himself. The faceless crew all laughed assuming it to be a joke as he stayed serious, "No… I'm not joking. That's really creepy."

"Elliot! Over here!" Alice continued trying for his attention. "Oh, God. I really hope the storm doesn't come too fast… He's deaf."

_That's when suddenly… A storm hit!_

"Really!?" Alice screamed to the sky in frustration.

_Yes, really._

Lightning flashed throughout the sky followed by a loud clap of thunder, causing Alice to flinch as all those aboard the ship went into a panic.

"What sense does it make for me to come up, only to come right back down?" Alice moaned as she jumped down and back into the rough waters. Rain pelted down from the sky while everyone on board the huge boat attempted to control it against the high waves. Not too soon after, a lightning bolt struck one of the sails causing the whole ship to catch on fire.

"Swim away now?" Nightmare questioned as he prepared to dive though Alice caught his arm before he could, "No! The boat's on fire! I need to save Elliot!"

"But everyone's escaping on those extra boats." Gray explained with a point at the frantic and fearful crew.

Alice rolled her eyes, "You guys obviously haven't read the fairytale. Well, I'll go get him now… If I'm right he should be somewhere over there…" She mumbled before she began swimming back towards the fiery ship.

_Guys! Come on! Stop her!_

Gray looked up in disbelief, "You're kidding, right!? She's saving his life! What's wrong with you!?"

"Besides the face that he's probably a 40 year old guy that lives in his mom's basement, who knows?" Nightmare shrugged before both began swimming after Alice.

"Guys, over here, help me, please." Alice shouted over the roar of the waves the beat against them as she swam up to them.

Elliot was unconscious, his arm wrapped around her neck as she flinched, "He's too heavy…" She groaned as Gray prepared to take his arm.

_No!_

"What is it this time!?" Alice asked impatiently, "Now isn't the time for your complaints!"

_Only you need to save him! Don't be lazy! Just swim back to shore with him alone!_

"Lazy!? He's like twice my size!" She screamed back.

_Your point?_

Alice groaned loudly though she managed to turn around, "Fine!" With that she began swimming forward still struggling with the blonde haired man.

-.-

"Ugh! I finally did it!" Alice moaned out the moment she made it to the sandy shores of the beach. She dropped Elliot on the sand and sighed.

_Now was that so hard?_

"Do me a favor and never speak again." Alice seethed harshly.

Brushing some of her hair from her face she returned her eyes back to Elliot worriedly, "Ah… Elliot, please be okay…" She fearfully muttered before she began shaking him by his shoulders, "Elliot! Come on! Wake up!"

Elliot remained motionless and Alice threw a glance back to the water at her two companions apprehensively, "He's not waking up!" She voiced out.

Gray remained calm while Nightmare stifled a yawn.

"Check his pulse." The lizard instructed passively and Alice nodded before placing her head to his chest.

She could hear his clock ticking though it was slow.

"I-It's working… But…" She trailed off with a frown on her face, "I can't remember what happens next! God, I'm freaking out! Narrator, help me out!"

_CPR would work out well. Just a suggestion._

The foreigner twitched, "Being quiet would work out well. Just a suggestion." She mocked out sweetly; the narrator groaned in annoyance but said nothing. Smirking in triumphant Alice, stuck her tongue out childishly.

_Okay, ignoring your sassiness, this is the part where you sing, your voice should be able to awaken him._

Nightmare laughed, "Alice's voice will probably kill him!"

Alice turned her head to ocean to glare at the incubus who continued his snickers, "Shut up!" She blushed in embarrassment as she shouted at him. "Argh… Where the hell am I?" Elliot moaned as he opened his eyes slowly.

"Nightmare, shut up! My voice is probably better than yours!" Alice continued yelling at the silver haired man oblivious to Elliot who had woken up.

"Um… Alice…" He called to her.

"Please! My voice is better than yours!" Nightmare stuck his tongue out.

"What makes you so sure!?" She questioned obviously annoyed

_Ariel! You're supposed to swim away now!_

"Huh? Why? Oh! Elliot! You're okay!" Alice smiled in relief as she turned back around and came to meet eyes with Elliot. Her smile broadened while she moved to hug the blonde man down.

"Uh… My head hurts, but I'm happy to see you're playing your role well." Elliot laughed nervously.

_You guys aren't supposed to talk!_

Alice and Elliot looked at the sky questionably, "Why not?" Elliot asked slightly upset, "I should be able to talk to her if I want." He defied as Alice kneeled down next to him. "Yeah! Who are you to order us around?"

_Oh. My. God. Just please! Look, your advisor is on his way, Eric and so it's best to swim away now, Ariel._

"Bye, Alice." Elliot sighed to the girl that openly rolled her eyes while she attempted to crawl back into the water.

"Hm… If I'm right, we'll both see each other after I get legs. So meet me back here, okay?" She nodded at him as she began swimming back to Gray and Nightmare.

_What the hell!? You're not supposed to talk about meetings!_

"Why not? It makes things more convenient." Nightmare stated helpfully.

"Yeah, imagine if I went back on land and Elliot wasn't there. That'd be awkward." Alice nodded.

_But that goes against the story line!_

Alice crossed her arms while glaring at the sky, "You go against the story line."

_No, I don't! I'm the narrator._

"Yes, you do. You're annoying."

_Are you seriously going to start this again!?_

"If the shoe fits."

_That doesn't make any sense!_

"You don't make any sense."

Realizing he wouldn't retaliate, Alice beamed over at Nightmare and Gray, both of whom were laughing and sighing respectively.

"So… What to do now?" Alice questioned after they dove underwater.

"You're supposed to get human legs, right?" Gray asked with a hand on his chin.

Nightmare nodded his head knowingly, "Yeah, from the sea hag."

_This is where a scene change comes in handy._

-.-

"Ugh! I hate scene changes!" Alice groaned as their location promptly switched. Instead of being at the top of ocean where sunlight pierced, they were suddenly at the bottom, where it barren and almost completely void of all light.

"I'm blind!" Nightmare shouted while he frantically waved his hands in front of his face.

"Ow! You hit my eye!" Alice cried.

"Nightmare, sir, you're making a scene…" Gray calmly stated after he was hit in the side of the head.

_That's when the trio began to swim inside the sea witch's cave._

After these words, a cave instantly appeared a couple feet in front of them. A yellow light shone from it softly as they all exchanged nervous glances.

"All in favor of going home say I."

"I." Gray and Alice raised their hands before they turned around to swim away.

"Going so soon?" "Here I was thinking big sis would have stayed longer."

The three froze with wide eyes as their gazes came upon both Dee and Dum who stood in their path, both as mermen and smirks written on their faces as they used axes to block their way ahead.

_Before they could swim away though, they were greeted by the witch's guards, Flotsam and Jetsam!_

"Dee? Dum? What are you guys doing here!?" Alice asked shocked.

The two shrugged, "Narrator promised to pay us if we stuck to these roles." Dee answered, "And apparently, we're supposed to stop people from leaving if they don't pay a visit to our new boss." Dum continued.

Alice paled while she looked at Nightmare and Gray for their input. Both men looked as conflicted as her.

After a couple seconds of silence, Nightmare turned to Gray, "I think if we toss Alice to them as an offering we'll be able to make it pass them."

"An offering!?" The brunette said appalled.

"What? You're weak, they're twice your size, and you're wearing a skimpy bikini top. Perfect for us to make an easy escape." Nightmare defended himself.

Giving him a quick glare, Alice cleared her throat, "Dee, Dum… There's no real reason that you two have to use those axes is there…? I mean, we're all friends here." She smiled nervously at them as she approached them slowly.

The twins looked at each other before smirking at Alice, "Hm… For big sis, we don't have a true reason." Dee grinned, "Yeah, we don't need them when we can just drag her by force." Dum nodded. Both boys grabbed her by her wrist making her shriek.

"I love it when she's so tiny and helpless." The red tailed twin snickered as he brought himself closer to her. "Yeah, she's much cuter this way." Dee agreed as he wrapped his hand around the top of her fin.

"Gray! Nightmare! Help me!" Alice shouted right as the twins began swimming into cave with her still in their grasp.

Gray and Nightmare looked at each other anxiously before Nightmare glanced away, "Waiting for her out here seems best. Don't want to mess up the storyline after all."

The lizard scratched his cheek, "Good point."

"Boss, look who we found swimming outside your cave." Dee chuckled as Alice began squirming, "Isn't she adorable?" Dum smirked.

"Joker!" Alice shouted in surprise at the redhead who turned looked up from his game of cards.

"Ah, it seems you've brought an angelfish into my dark lair boys." Joker smiled sweetly after the twins dropped Alice on the chair in front of Joker, before leaving the two alone, the only thing separating the pair being a rock-table that held multiple cards.

"You're Ursula?" Alice cringed away in fear.

"Is there a problem with that, my dear?" He questioned with an arched brow, though the slight mischevious gleam in his eyes while he shuffled his deck of cards was undeniable.

Feeling a chill run down her spine, Alice frantically shook her head with a nervous smile to her lips, "Aha, no, no, no! No problem at all!" Turning her head to the side, she couldn't help the morbid expression that came to her face, "But I do know the Narrator is getting better at picking roles." She mumbled beneath her breath before turning back to him politely.

Joker nodded with a knowing expression on his face, "So what is it that a poor unfortunate soul such as yourself needs?"

"I need to get out this storyline." She murmured to herself once more before straightening up, "Um, I believe you're supposed to give me legs." Alice meekly informed.

His eye flashed over her carefully before he placed a hand on his chin, "Ah… In order to do this, you must—"

"Please don't say sing. I really, really, _really _can't sing, it'd just be really embarrassing if I did. Trust me, I sound like a dying cat." The brunette blushed as she held her head down in shame.

_You blush when he tells you to sing, but you curse when I tell you to. Typical._

Joker chuckled at the crestfallen girl and shook his head, "No worries, singing isn't the only way I can take your voice. There is an alternative if you wish."

Alice strummed her fingers on her fin attentively, "O-oh! I'll try the alternative then, please." She managed out.

"Excellent. Because all you have to do is kiss me."

"What!?" Alice shot her head up, her face still hued red as she felt her heart rate beginning to pick up.

Joker leaned over to her from across the game table with a smirk on his lips, "If you don't want to… I could always have my guards have their way with you seeing as you trespassed on my property, little mermaid."

"I… I…" The foreigner closed her eyes shut as she felt Joker put his hand on under her chin. Lightly, he tilted her head backwards and advanced his face to hers. Alice flinched away from his touched but he held her head up with his other hand. He then lowered his head down to her face, before gently kissing her. Alice kept her eyes shut as she felt the red heads tongue probe into her mouth. Soon, not long she felt as though a piece of herself was escaping her body. Frantically, she attempted to pull away from him as it felt like more and more of herself was escaping through the kiss though Joker kept her close despite her struggles.

_Hey! Enough! I think you've took enough of her voice! Geez… You're not even her love interest, buddy._

Joker pulled away after what seemed to be forever and Alice immediately began coughing up air bubbles water to her lungs.

"Your voice is sweet," He complimented her, though because of her lack of voice all she could do was watch up at him in annoyance.

_Okay, so that's when the Sea Witch explained to Ariel, that if her prince did not kiss her before 3 days were up, her soul would belong to him._

"Three days? That's way too long. I'd rather take her now." Joker slyly said before grabbing Alice closer to him, "How about it, my little mermaid? Our love can be just as forbidden as the one you have with the human prince." He remarked while moving in for another kiss.

Fearfully, Alice managed to wiggle out of his grasp before she immediately began swimming out the cave.

_Scene change!_

-.-

"Looks like this turning out to be quite the story." Nightmare remarked as he and Gray watched Alice from the water. The girl was on shore sitting on a rock with a sun dress that had been conveniently left on the beach.

_I don't know what idiot decided to leave that on the beach. She's supposed to use the sails of a ship to cover up!_

Gray and Nightmare rolled their eyes at his complaints and Alice made a sighing expression.

"But where's Elliot?" Gray questioned looking around after a few more moments.

"Alice! Alice!"

"Right there." Nightmare pointed at the March Hare who was jogging down the beach to the impatient looking brunette.

"Whoa, sorry if I'm late… But I'm glad to see you got legs…" He grinned at her while rubbing the back of his head, "Those faceless were hell to get past in that castle, but I made it!"

_Ugh, hello! You're not supposed to act like you know her!_

"I'm not acting. I _do _know her." Elliot defied as he walked closer to her.

Alice hopped off the rock with an equally annoyed face while she approached the Hare more pleasantly. When she stood in front of him, she opened her mouth as though to speak but quickly closed it when she remembered the spell.

Catching her look, Elliot came to recall her situation before he cleared his throat, "So, um… How exactly do I get your voice back again?" He blushed while scratching his cheek. Alice looked at her feet in equal embarrassment.

"Kiss her, stupid!" Nightmare shouted from the water through cupped hands.

"No! Don't kiss her, you moronic Hare!" Dee exclaimed while appearing from the water and dunking Nightmare's head down below, "Big sis is ours!" Dum proclaimed while popping up beside his twin.

Elliot narrowed his eyes at them, "Alice isn't anyone's!"

"You sure?" Dum cockily asked, "Yeah, we could have sworn we heard you talking in your sleep about kidnapping her to do some dirty things to her." Dee grinned.

Alice pushed Elliot's hands off of her with a red blush and Elliot fumbled with his words, "What!? Don't you brats have anything better to do than lie!?"

The twins stuck their tongues out at him, "Big sis, come in the water with us!" They pouted at her with innocent eyes. Alice looked at them with scowls, unable to respond.

"No! She's staying on land with me." Elliot exclaimed.

"But she belongs in water! She's a mermaid not a stupid human like you!"

"Well too bad for you both because she wants to be on land!"

"No, she doesn't!"

"Yes, she does!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!

"Yes!"

_Now here's that argument I've been waiting for…_

"Prove it." The red eyed boy said and his blue tailed brother nodded his head, "Yeah."

"Fine! I will! Alice, do you—" He turned his head to where the girl previously was only to see her swimming towards Gray and Nightmare,

"Let's go swim with dolphins Alice!" Nightmare smiled at her. Alice shrugged her shoulders as she hopped on Gray's back. "Bye, Elliot." Gray waved at him before the trio began swimming away.

"Hey! They're taking away big sis!"

"Let's get her back!"

-.-

"Then what happened?" The girl arched a brow. Her brother got off the bed, and began walking to the door. "The world imploded."

"Wha—"

_Slam!_

**-.-.-.-.-**

**These endings are turning out lovely.**

**More reviews I get, the faster the update ;)**


	3. Aladdin!

**Thanks for the reviews! As a result next chappie **

**Hanayuki: ;-; I'm not sure on what you mean… Lol**

**Ideas in here by That Masked Chick and PiperDreamer.**

-.-.-.-

**Chapter 3: Aladdin!**

"Ow! Mom! I'm sorry!" The faceless boy cried as his mom beat him inside his little sister's room with a frying pan, "You better finish telling your sister a story!" She threatened causing him to whimper, "There you go sweetie." She smiled affectionately at her daughter who beamed back before giving her elder son one last hit on the head and walking out.

"You didn't have to tell mom…" The older boy sulked while rubbing his head.

"But the ending was terrible! I want another story now!" She pouted cutely.

The boy sighed, "Fine. How about I tell you a fine tale of adventure and romance with Aladdin?"

-.-

_Running through the thick street ways of Agrabah was the clever Aladdin!_

"Oh god, not again!" Gray cringed after he suddenly appeared in the crowded streets of an unknown marketplace. The occupants of the market place remained oblivious to the role holder who simply appeared out of thin air and continued on with their routines.

_I said running._

Gray ignored him while he looked down at his attire. "Ugh… Don't tell me I'm in Aladdin…" He groaned out in distain with a palm to his face.

_Okay, maybe this will motivate you. Aladdin was currently running because he was being chased by a bunch of guards that wanted to kill him._

"Whoa, how'd I get here?" Boris questioned out in surprise when he found himself materialized in a new setting. His hand was extended out with a sword in its clutches towards Gray and behind him were a charge of faceless soldiers that all had similar attire and weapons. "Nice! A sword!" Boris grinned obliviously before he began slashing it out in the air.

"Uh… Sir, we're supposed to be chasing the street rat." One of the faceless guards muttered out weakly from behind.

Boris looked back at him, "Who the hell are you!? Gray! What the hell is going on!? Why am I dressed like a dork!? Not as dorky and lame as you I might add… But still!" The purple haired boy looked down at himself in disgust.

_Since this is obviously going nowhere… Did I forget to mention that Aladdin has a monkey companion?_

**No! I'm afraid of monkeys Onii-chan!**

… _Wait… You aren't serious are you?_

**I'm going to tell Mama that you're telling me scary stories!**

_NO! Did I say monkey? I meant a guy with monkey attributes!_

"Haha. I think I'm back in another story." Ace grinned as he suddenly appeared next to Gray. Instantly, the elder man edged away from the red eyed Knight and Boris snickered, "Haha! The stupid knight has a tail!" With his words, Ace blinked as his newly acquired monkey tail swished and his ears twitched.

"Okay, seriously, whose brilliant idea was it to make Ace the monkey!?" Gray questioned up at the sky with a disturbed look to his features causing Boris to shrug, "Don't know, don't care but I do know we're supposed to attack you." The guards behind him all nodded in agreement as they brought out their swords.

_Now is when Aladdin started running._

Gray gave Boris a nervous look as the purple haired boy grinned in anticipation, sighing, the lizard did a complete 180 turn before he began running down the street. The Knight of Hearts caught up to him without much effort, "Yeah, come on Gray! Let's fight!" Ace grinned.

Gray glared at him, "Shut up and wipe that stupid grin off your face! I'm supposed to fight the guards, not you!"

"Aw… I wonder why I'm the monkey then…" Ace sadly pouted.

"Gee. I wonder why." Gray rolled his eyes as he made a sharp turn down a dark alleyway. Both men ran all the way to the end of the way only to discover it was a dead end. "I think if we hop on these barrels we'll make it over this wall." Gray skeptically stated with a hand on his chin while he observed the obstacle before them.

_As the pair became hysterical at their misfortune, they both noticed something sparkling on the floor._

"Uh, I'm trapped in an alleyway and guards with the intention to kill me are about to appear and corner me. Now isn't the time to be picking up shiny things from the floor!" Gray exclaimed as he continued with his plan of escape, a slight twitch coming to his eye, "You'd have to be a moron to stop for something like that."

"Hey, Mr. Lizard! Take a look at this shiny lamp!" Ace suddenly stopped and grabbed a fist full of Gray's vest causing the ex-assassin to forcibly look down,

"Let me go!" He shouted in annoyance as Ace picked up the golden lamp from the floor and right then, Boris and the guards appeared by the alley opening, "We found you guys!" Boris snickered as they slowly began walking in.

_So then, Aladdin decided to stop being such a sourpuss and he rubbed the lamp._

"I want to rub it though." Ace crossed his arms. "I was the one that found it."

_Oh, well. You're not Aladdin._

"Can I be Aladdin, Gray?" He questioned the bluenette who was currently glaring at him impatiently, "Like hell if I care! Just give me the lamp!" He snatched the lamp from Ace's hold and instantly rubbed the lamp. A white light flashed from it, causing Boris and the guards to shield their eyes. When the light faded, Nightmare stood rubbing his eyes, "I see the Narrator is still crap at deciding roles…"

Gray turned his head away from the silver haired incubus in disgust, "Nightmare-sama… Dare I ask why you're dressed like a belly dancer…?" Nightmare sighed as he took his lamp back into his hands, "Apparently if I remember correctly I'm the genie of the tale. I'm supposed to help you win over the princess by making you a prince. So how about I start granting your wildest wishes lover boy?" He smirked referring to the happy ending that was supposed to take place between him and the princess.

However, Gray caught it more as a dirty context and while turning slightly blue he put his head in both his hands with a moan, "I want to go home now…"

Boris laughed, "Ha! Oh, man, this is too funny!"

_No, it isn't! He gets the princess in the end. Speaking of which, here she is._

"Jesus Christ, not again!" Alice groaned as she abruptly emerged in Gray's arms bridal style. Gray immediately blushed at their close proximity and Boris blinked his eyes,

"… I'll take the role of Aladdin now, Gray. So you could just pass Alice over here to me, that'd be great…" The Cheshire Cat carefully voiced with extended hands out.

"What is it this time?" Alice questioned while looking around.

"Aladdin," Nightmare answered, his face growing into a grin, "And you just so happen to be Jasmine!"

Alice blushed in response, "Whose Aladdin?"

Gray stayed silent as his face turned darker and so did Alice's in reaction when it all clicked in her head.

_Awkward… But anyways, the guards now went in to arrest Aladdin and his monkey._

"What!? Why!?" Gray asked in shock.

_You're holding the princess. That's a crime._

Furrowing her eyebrows, Alice glared up at the sky, "Well, I say they don't have to go to jail! It isn't a crime to save me from falling on the floor!" She defied crossly, "And apparently since I'm Jasmine, the princess of this joint, no jail for them!"

_No. You're overruled by Jafar, who ordered this._

Alice twitched and right then averted her attention to the guards that were coming closer, "Stop!" The guards and Boris immediately halted at her shouts, "Who the hell is Jafar? The Sultan?" She asked the sky once again.

_No. He's the Sultan's minister._

"Then I overrule him. Boris, you and the other guards are dismissed."

_You don't overrule him! Guards, seize them!_

"Yes! I overrule him! Guards, turn around right now!"

_No! You don't! Guards!_

"Yes! I do!"

_No, you don't!_

"This isn't an argument, you bastard. I win. You lose."

"Whoa… Alice must be pretty angry." Ace laughed as Alice and the narrator continued arguing. Nightmare sighed as he put a hand on Gray's shoulder, "Make a wish now so your girlfriend doesn't end up making us all fry up."

_Screw it! Guards! Take the monkey, genie and street rat to jail! Also take the annoying princess back to the palace since she snuck out!_

"What the hell!?" Alice shouted as the faceless guards grabbed Gray roughly, forcing him to release her and causing her to fall on the ground.

"Sorry about this, Alice." Boris sighed though he helped her off the floor gently before he held her shoulders calmly. The two could only watch blankly as Nightmare, Gray, and Ace got dragged away.

"I didn't even touch the Princess! Why am I being sent to jail!? This is against my rights! I demand a lawyer!" Nightmare cried.

"I really need my knives…" Gray sighed though he went completely compliant, "This is way more fun than the Wizard of Oz!" Ace grinned.

_So now you take Jasmine to the palace!_

"Even if I knew how, believe me, I wouldn't." Boris deadpanned making Alice giggle into her hand.

… _What does a narrator have to do to get some respect around here! ?_

"Um. Maybe not act like a total jerk?" Alice asked with her hands moving to her hips, "And a pervert! I mean look at me! My top only covers the bottom of my breast!" Alice cried in outraged motioning to herself.

Boris rubbed the back of his head, "I think it looks perfect."

Alice gave him a penetrating stare.

"Yeah, I'll just take you to the palace now and shut up…"

-.-

_That's when the head guard escorted the princess to the throne room where she saw her father sitting on his… Throne! Omg._

"Nerd…" Boris coughed out as they entered the throne room. Alice rolled her eyes while she stormed in further while pulling away from the older male, "Hey! Who's the Sultan of this place!?" She questioned loudly while looking throughout the hall.

"That would be me." Gowland grinned right before he got off the throne. Boris and Alice looked at him in surprise while he approached them and he casually slung his arm around Alice's shoulder, "And you're my daughter, Alice!"

"Old man as the Sultan? Damn, this Narrator sucks at picking roles!" Boris snickered madly though Alice kept her expressionless face still overwhelmed with shock, "Okay… So if you're the Sultan, then I demand that you take Gray, Nightmare, and Ace out of jail!" She said getting out his grasp.

"Who are they…? All I know is that Aladdin, a genie and a monkey got sent to jail recently." Gowland whistled with a hand to his chin in wonder.

Alice glowered at him, clearly unimpressed and Boris crossed his arms over his chest with a twitch to his eyebrow, "Really, old man?"

When he didn't appear to be swayed, Alice scowled, "Alright, alright! Whatever! Just get them out, please!"

Gowland shrugged his shoulders, "I would… But Jafar needs to decide that."

"And who the hell is that?" Alice probed with a twitch.

"That would be me… My fair Jasmine."

Both Alice and Boris looked to the entrance to be greeted with the sight of Joker entering with a smile on his face. Alice felt a knot of fear well up in her stomach and Boris pointed a finger at the dark, weirdly dressed Ringmaster that now had a parrot on his shoulder.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I know this story stuff is for all the role holders, but what the hell are you doing here!?" He questioned in shock as Alice edged closer to him anxiously.

The foreigner paled, "Is he, the one guy I'm terrified of, _always _going to be the bad guy?" She sarcastically moaned to herself while she tilted her head up toward the ceiling.

"Enough idle chat. Is there a request you wish to take up with me, Princess?" Joker placed both hands behind his back while he pointed a kind smile at the brunette that hesitantly began approaching him.

"I-I wanted to know why you ordered Gray, Nightmare, and Ace to be sent to jail." She managed out, she attempted to sound strong and confident but even she could hear the tremble in her words.

Joker chuckled, "They broke a law. Law breakers are put in jail. Is it really that hard to understand?" The parrot on his shoulder held the same black mask that was normally attached to the Ring Master's side. "Even if they didn't break a law, those bastards still deserve to be in jail." It spoke condescendingly, easily catching the attention of those in the room.

"Black is the parrot? Seriously?" Boris raised a brow with a blank expression on his face.

"Got a problem with it, asshole?" Black Joker countered sarcastically. "Maybeee." Boris drawled out tauntingly.

Alice and Gowland sighed in unison as the two began to argue. Attempting to go past their conflict, she gave the standing redhead a slightly annoyed look, "Well, what law did they break!?"

"They stole from me…" Joker brought Alice closer to his body and lowered his face to hers with a pout on his face, "You're mine after all." Alice blushed as Joker leaned his mouth closer to hers. "And I can't allow anyone to take you away." He whispered.

"The hell she is!" Boris sneered before he picked up one of the potted plants in the room and chucked it at the taller male's head with a glare,

Narrowly avoiding it, Joker pulled away from Alice quickly and sent a dark look the Cheshire Cat's way as the parrot on his shoulder gave a growl, "You fucking pathetic excuse for a guard! The fuck is your problem!?"

Alice used this distraction to hide behind Gowland who now brought out a violin, "You kids need to get along! After all, if Alice doesn't marry someone by the end of today, she's going to marry Joker! So in hopes to calm down, I'll play you all a song!"

"Kill me now!" Alice moaned as Joker and Boris stopped fighting and fell to their knees when Gowland began playing peacefully.

_Yeah… I think that could be arranged. But instead…_

"Sir! We have a new prince who has arrived to the kingdom to ask for Princess Jasmine's hand in marriage!" A faceless guard said nervously as he entered the dysfunctional room.

As Gowland halted his playing, Alice removed her hands from her ears, "Seriously!? Since when has this been going on!? I refuse to marry Joker and I refuse to marry any other random person that just shows up out of nowhere!" She exclaimed defiantly.

"So you'll marry me?" Boris hopefully asked with a smile pointed her way.

_Nope. The Princess can only marry a prince, minister, or a Sultan._

"That sucks!" Boris declared crossing his arms with a pout.

"Only a couple of hours left," Joker smoothly voiced as he looked at Alice with hidden glint in his eye that immediately gave her qualms, "Erm… Can I please see the prince that just arrived?" She nervously asked. "I'd rather take my chances with him…" She lowly mumbled to herself.

"Whoa! Get out the way!" Ace's voice said from the hall. The faceless guard turned around and immediately dropped to the floor as a flying carpet zoomed into the room. Ace was raving his arms in the air while asking it to go faster, and Gray was attempting to stop Nightmare from vomiting as the carpets flew in the room.

Boris pouted, "Hey! I wanna ride! Come on! Don't be stingy guys!"

_You're not supposed to ride it!_

"Why are those peasants in my palace!?" Gowland questioned in exasperation.

"They aren't peasants! Don't you see their clothes? Those are the clothes of nobility…" She attempted lamely causing Joker, Gowland, and Boris to watch at her with unimpressed eyes.

"Bimbo." Black Joker stated bluntly, breaking the silence. "Hey! At least she's not a stupid parrot!" Boris defended her.

"Guards! Seize those criminals!" Joker voiced pointing at the trio that now hopped off the carpet. "Criminals! Where!?" Ace questioned looking around in surprise. "Criminals? In the palace? Wow, you must have poor security." Nightmare smirked.

"You three are criminals." The red head smiled, "Criminals belong in jail, so I hope you're all prepared to go back."

The three all shrugged uncaringly, "Nope. He's Prince Grey. With an 'E'!" Nightmare grinned as he patted Gray on the back.

_I told them it was Prince Ali. But nooo. They wanted to be 'original'. Tch. Original my ass… Er, I mean… Original my butt…_

"What?" Boris asked dumbfounded.

"Prince Grey…? Are you serious?" Alice sighed in disbelief with an unimpressed expression, "It sounds the exact same! You can't tell the difference when you verbally say it!"

Gray sighed with a nod, "It was Nightmare-sama's idea, but that aside, I'm here to ask for your hand in marriage… _Princess._"

"Well, you have to win my favor, because I'm the Sultan. Her Daddy." Gowland grinned as he crossed his arms.

"But you won't because I already have the Sultan's favor." Joker pleasantly threw in, earning a glare from Nightmare, "With a little bit of magic, anything is possible."

"Unfortunately not even magic can overcome the love the Princess and I share with each other."

"What the hell are you even talking about!?"

"Why don't both of you guys marry her? Isn't polygamy okay in some cultures?"

"We are not fucking sharing her! She isn't some slut to toss around, stupid!"

"Let's not have the words Alice and slut used in the same sentence."

"What if I was saying 'Alice isn't a slut'?"

"Oh. That's okay then."

"Why is this story so twisted!?" Alice moaned while she covered her ears again due to the mess of role holders continuing their arguing loudly.

_You're telling me… But moving along, now we'll skip to where Prince Grey and Princess Jasmine go on a ride on the magical carpet to get to know each other better!_

"Why the carpet?" Alice cringed away from it. "Yeah, it's way too dangerous, how about we go for a balloon ride?" Gray suggested to Alice lightly though she frowned, "That's still dangerous but I guess so…"

"Not without a chaperon you don't!" Gowland cut in.

Joker smirked, "I'll go to make sure the kids behave."

"If that sneaky bastard goes I go too!" Boris crossed his arms over his chest.

_Everyone shut up!_

"Oh, wow! This story is getting so exciting!" Ace grinned obviously amused.

Suddenly, Alice perked up with realization written on her face,

"Wait…"

Everyone in the room looked at her now, "So Jafar wants to marry Jasmine, right…?"

_Right._

With a cringe, she glanced up at the ceiling, "And toward the end when he has control of the genie and he makes Jasmine his slave and stuff, to get Aladdin to win, Jasmine ends up kissing Jafar for a good ten seconds to distract him?"

_Um… Yeah?_

Gray, Ace, Boris, and Gowland all turned their heads to Joker with murder written in their eyes, "Prepare to die, Jafar." They all spoke in unison as they advanced on the nervous red head. "Shit." Black Joker cursed out before they were jumped.

As the group began beating up the Ring Master Nightmare sighed, "Can we get a new Aladdin? Because the guy who's supposed to be playing him is currently beating the hell out of Jafar." Both he and Alice winced at the scene when they saw a tooth fly out of the mix.

_Oh, for the love of— Fine! You know what!? That's when the Wicked Witch of the West poofed in while everyone was beating up Jafar, took Jasmine and they eloped, the end!_

"What!?" Alice shouted enraged as Blood suddenly appeared. He put a mischievous smirk on his face as he pulled Alice closer to him, "You're mine now, my pretty." Alice cringed away from his touch but he didn't let go.

"You and your lovely virginity." He added in a whisper to her ear making Alice blush hotly. "Oh my God, this story is a nightmare!" She stated while squirming in his grasp. "Hey, at least you're not Joker." Nightmare offered out gesturing to the group who was still attacking the red head aggressively.

"Hm… That's true, because when I'm done with you, you'll be way more tired than he is." Blood smirked down at her. "So how about I produce a happy ending right now?" The raven haired man continued as began walking to his broomstick. He picked her up bridal style before sitting down and floating on it into the air.

"Guys, help! I'm being kidnapped by the Wicked Witch of the West!" Alice cried out as Blood began flying higher in the sky.

"Yeah… I don't think they can hear you over the sounds of their punches… Have a nice honeymoon though." Nightmare blankly threw in. "This can't be happening!" Alice shouted.

-.-

"What happened next!? What happened next!?" She asked excited.

Her brother shrugged his shoulders while getting up from his seat and going towards the door, "It turned out the Wicked Witch was gay."

The girl's face was stifled in shock as her brother flickered off the lights,

"Night sis!"

_Slam!_

-.-.-.-.-

**I love these endings :'D**

**Hold onto your hats lol I'm making sure next is Little Red Riding Hood okay ;)**


	4. Little Red Riding Hood!

**Evil… Thy name is laziness :P**

**Hanayuki: It's like you already knew what I was going to do with the role ;^; Also also. The Blood Dupre is gay thing is a little joke that started from Childhood Wonder. Most know of it, but if not just know that a majority of my stories features the little joke ;P**

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

**Chapter 4: Little Red Riding Hood!**

"Ah! I'm sorry! Please! Stop!" The faceless boy was forced back in his sister's room as the little girl repeatedly hit him with a metal crowbar. "Take a seat and finish telling me a story. And make it a story that doesn't fail as epically as you." She harshly demanded as her brother scrambled his way to the foot of her bed holding the back of his head that was beginning to bleed excessively.

"Don't get blood on my bed sheets." She coldly said as she crawled into her bed. Her brother sighed heavily, "Okay. A story you want… How about I tell you about the day in the forest a young girl named Little Red Riding Hood had…"

-.-

_Once upon a time there was a little girl named Little Red Riding Hood._

"You're kidding me, right?" Alice sighed as she suddenly appeared on a trail in a forest wearing a red hood on her head. In her hand was basket that made her twitch, "Little Red Riding Hood, huh?" She sarcastically asked while clutching it tighter in her hand.

_She was nothing more but a naïve young girl who was off to deliver a basket of goodies to her grandma!_

"Naïve? I'm anything but naïve but anything to get this story over with." Alice snorted in distain. "So where the heck is Grandmas house so I can get out of here?"

_I was getting to that. But anyways, Little Red was skipping happily down the trail of the forest, but she knew she had to be careful for there were rumors of disappearing people in this forest._

Alice shrugged, "I think I'll be alright. And I don't skip." She stuck her tongue out at the sky before she began walking down the pathway.

_Never gonna give you up… Never gonna let you down… Never gonna run around and desert you… Never gonna make you cry… Never gonna say goodbye… Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you…_

Alice stopped her stride and looked up at the sky in confusion, "Are… Are you _singing_?" She attempted to keep her face from exploding into a giggle fit as she kept a stoic face on.

_Well, you're not going to! Might as well try to sing to get the time to pass a bit._

"Haha. I'd really appreciate it if you shut up." She looked back ahead of her with a blank expression plastered on her face, "Just because I'm going with the story for once doesn't mean I respect you or anything." She nonchalantly spoke as she began walking once again.

… **I like this Little Red.**

_I get no respect as Narrator! But whatever, because that's when suddenly, Little Red heard something rustling in the bushes._

The brunette stopped and looked to her left where the bushes violently shook. Shrugging her shoulders she put her foot out to begin her walk again,

_Wait! Where are you going!?_

"To Grandma's house." She responded simply

_But the bushes!_

"What about them? Will they somehow going to transport me to Grandma's house?"

_No…_

"Will they transport me back to Cloverland?"

_No…_

"Will they transport me to your room so I can beat the living snot out of you?"

_No…_

"Then I don't see any reason for me to stay and look at a bush when I'm supposed to be going to Grandma's house so then I'll get back to Cloverland. It'll be a waste of time."

_Screw it. That's when the Wolf jumped out from bushes._

Alice's eyes widened while she turned back to the rustling green leaves anxiously.

With a dull expression she watched as suddenly Blood appeared from the vegetation rubbing the back of his neck annoyed, "Ugh. What the hell?" He mumbled irritated as he looked around.

Alice could feel her nerves becoming more alert from the moment she looked at the top of the Mafioso's head. His newly acquired black wolf ears twitched as he finally put his eyes on Alice's form. His lack of shirt and dark pants made the girl threaten to blush.

"Argh! Why is _he _the wolf!?" Alice shouted out with a pointed finger his way while she stared up at the sky in outrage.

This wasn't going to end well for her, she could just tell.

A smirk found its way on the man's face when he realized the situation at hand, "Little Red Riding Hood, huh?" He questioned with a mischievous glint now in his eyes.

_Little Red watched helplessly as the Wolf observed her and her basket curiously._

"Erm…" Alice anxiously stated as she backed away from the Mafioso who sauntered closer to her, "Uh, yeah, I don't think so." She firmly said before she turned to walk away.

The second she turned around she bumped straight into Blood's bare chest as he grabbed her wrists.

"Not that easy, Little Red." He whispered deviously, "Hm… This may actually be one story I like."

_So anyways… That's when the Wolf asked her where she was headed._

"To my Grandma's house. You know? The place that I need to visit so this story can end and we can go home. Just let go of me so I can do that." Alice grunted as she pulled against his hold, though Blood didn't release.

_But little naïve Red had no idea that she shouldn't have told him her destination._

"After all… The Big Bad Wolf wants to eat her…" Blood finished with his smirk appearing to widen.

Alice cringed before she slapped his hand causing him to release her, "Pervert!" She blushed as walked around him.

"I'm just following the story."

"You're making it sound dirty!"

"How so?"

"Gr…"

_Before she could go, the Wolf wanted to know what was in her basket._

"Oh. You have goodies in your basket? It'd be rather pleasant if you flashed me a view of them." Blood smiled her way charmingly.

Alice rolled her eyes and turned around, "That's exactly how you make things sound dirty! God, Blood. You're impossible sometimes." The foreigner huffed, "And besides… You aren't the basket police. I don't have to show you anything." She defiantly stated as she pulled the basket away from his view.

Blood snickered as he pulled up behind Alice; his hands slid around her waist snuggly, an action that caused her to squeak while her hood fell off.

Resting his head near her shoulder he whispered into her ear gently, "Out here really isn't safe for you. Don't you know little girls shouldn't be in the wood all alone?"

The brunette bit her bottom lip, "Don't you know dogs shouldn't be off their leash without an owner? I guess we're both breaking some rules here, aren't we?" She sarcastically inquired as she pulled herself away from him.

_After she gave him his answer that was when the Wolf attempted to eat her!_

Alice cringed and pulled her hood back over her head, her eyes squinted up at the sky, "You're kidding."

Desperately, her eyes fleeted back over to Blood and she felt her panic begin to rise when he took an advancing step toward her.

Of all the damn stories for him to get into character with.

_Whoa! Whoa!_

Blood stopped his footsteps and Alice breathed out a sigh of relief, "For once the Narrator isn't useless."

_Don't make her too tired now, Wolfie. She needs enough strength to go to Grandma's house after all._

The raven haired man gave a low chuckle, "Sure thing. Just remember, when I start something, I have trouble stopping."

He looked up at Alice with predatory eyes and Alice felt her eyes widen. "It's really inconvenient that one Narrator is a prude and the other isn't!" Alice cried as she turned around and took off running, "Why did the perverted one have to be the narrator for this story!?"

Blood yawned, "Running that slow won't get you anywhere." Without much effort he began running after her.

Alice realizing he was following her gave a shout of frustration before she was suddenly tackled to the floor; Blood wrapped his arms around her waist and turned her so she was lying on her back.

The foreigner stared up at him in annoyance, "Get off!" She demanded as he pressed himself onto her.

"What are the magic words?" He asked her, clearly amused with the situation.

Narrowing her eyes at him, the brunette continued squirming in a vain attempt to escape. Blood watched her in interest as he resisted the urge to laugh at her, finally Alice groaned, "_Please_." She forced out through gritted teeth.

Blood allowed a grin to spread out on his face, "Though I am glad you know manners, unfortunately your hearing skills aren't that good. I said _words. _But I'll take mercy on you." He lowered his head to her ear causing her to give a yelp from his sudden notion.

"The magic words are…" Alice felt her heart thud from his whispers into her ear, "Eat me now." He informed her as he rose his head up.

Alice blushed deeply, "You're taking your role too far! Get over yourself and get off of me!" She shouted, her squirming picking up once again.

"You want to go back to Cloverland, right? Well, it's either this or I actually become a cannibal. I'm sure this option isn't _that_ bad." The Mafioso reasoned and Alice paused for a moment, her eyes becoming filled with realization to his words.

The thought of him actually chewing off her fingers or something with his new sharp canine teeth sent shivers of fear down her body.

At least letting him do whatever he planned on doing would feel good—

But her morals—

But her fingers—

Morals.

Fingers.

Morals.

Fingers.

Screw it.

"Eat me now." She meekly muttered out, her eyes fleeing from his while she felt her face warm immensely.

Blood didn't even wait a moment longer after her words before he lowered his head to her face, allowing their lips to meet firmly.

When he parted from the kiss, Alice found herself staggering for breath though she didn't have much time to recover as she gave a small squeak of surprise when Blood's mouth made it to her neck as she felt his tongue begin gliding along her skin in a way that made her wiggle beneath in a rather pathetic manner. Faintly, she could hear him growling in a rather animalistic manner while she clutched at him tightly.

**Isn't this bestiality?**

_Huh? What? Sorry. I was distracted…_

**Get on with the story. I want to see something else happen other than watching a wolf and a girl have intercourse.**

_Technically it's not bestiality, he isn't full wolf or anything… But I see your point, so er… Big Bad Wolf, just tone it down a notch so we can keep the story going. I said ATTEMPTED to eat her, you can't just take it all the way._

Blood didn't appear to hear the Narrator's words, his focus entirely set on Alice as his hands now began to move to Alice's cloak as he slowly began unclipping it and moving to undo the dress she wore underneath it.

_Okay, so this is getting pretty steamy, so I'll scene change now._

-.-

Alice instantly began gasping for air as she suddenly appeared in another area of the forest. Free of the weight that was previously on her chest, she got off her back on the dirt path in irritation. Picking up her basket from the floor, she glared ahead of the dark forest and went through.

_Alrighty then._

The brunette sighed heavily as she continued stomping through the woods. She pulled up her hood and adjusted it in front of her angrily, "I can't believe I lost my head back there. I hate this story." She seethed, "Where the hell is grandma's house?" She snarled to the sky.

_So… Little Red, obviously shaken with her encounter with the Wolf—_

"Shaken!? Try violated and pissed off!" She interrupted hotly, "I'll kill you for subjecting us to pick our poisons… Just you wait."

_She now knew she needed to be careful with who she would interact with. But despite this, she kept a smile on her face! Because she knew she'd probably never see him again._

The foreigner twitched, "But I _will _see him again! I know the storyline, you moron!"

When she didn't get a response, Alice scowled though she kept on proceeding up ahead.

-.-

_Now back to you, Wolfie. You want to—_

Blood completely droned out the voice as he continued his stride up to a nearby cottage.

_Are you even listening!?_

"No. Now silence yourself." The Mafioso commanded calmly.

The voice obeyed immediately and Blood inwardly snorted while he placed his hand on the doorknob.

"Knock, knock." He coldly stated before he entered the small cottage.

"Ugh… So you're the Wolf…" Julius groaned with a slight embarrassed blush on his face as he turned his head from the obviously amused Mafia boss' view. He sat on the bed with his pajamas that he and Alice had acquired.

"Monrey's the Grandma? Feh." Blood snorted with a low chuckle, "That fits in a rather odd way."

"Put a shirt on." The Clockmaker retorted.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist." Blood countered.

Julius growled, "I'm so violated… One minute I'm fixing a clock and the next I'm victim to another damn game."

_That's when the Wolf announced his plans to eat Grandma! Shocking turn of events!_

"I'll take a pass on that for the rest of my life. My apologies, but there's nothing appetizing about that man." The raven haired man claimed with a glare pointed up at the ceiling.

Julius shared his attitude, a grimace on his lips, "Disgusting."

_You dudes are perverts… I meant—_

Blood held a deadpanned face, "I'm not a moron like you. I understand what you meant. And I still refuse."

_Oh my God… Then what are you going to do with Grandma when Little Red comes!?_

"Don't call me Grandma." Julius hissed out stoically as he folded his arms over his chest while getting off the bed.

"Let Little Red come in. I have no problems eating her in front of her grandma or you." Blood stated with a smirk on his face with a lick to his lips.

Julius glared at him, "I doubt Alice would actually go along with the storyline if it involves that."

The Hatter let a knowing glance go over to the Clockmaker, "Hm… So says you. She didn't seem so against it in the forest when I nearly made it…"

"What!?" Julius asked wide eyed as suddenly the door burst opened.

A frantic Alice stepped in with a panicked expression on her face as she slammed the door shut, "Stop following me you stalker!" She shouted right before she managed to lock the door. Relieved, she turned to the two men who watched her stupefied.

"Julius… is Grandma!?" Alice questioned with her hands on her face in an attempt to stop herself from laughing.

"Oh, shut up." Julius blankly stated as Alice giggled openly, "Haha! Oh, God! This Narrator sucks at everything story related!"

… _That's insulting._

"Enough of that… I see that my lunch is back." Blood deviously stated before he pushed Alice's body against the wall next to the door.

Alice grunted, her cheeks becoming faint pink while she stared up at him in irritation, "Move!" She stammered out flustered.

"How cold… What if I don't want to move?"

"I don't care what you want! You _need _to move!"

"And if I don't?" He questioned, his forehead lowered down to touch hers, "I doubt you'll be able to do anything about it, Little Red."

_Crash!_

Both flinched as Blood instinctively clutched himself closer to prevent the broken glass from busted huge window from falling on the foreigner. Julius watched blankly as Peter White landed inside the room on the balls of his feet with an axe in his hands, "Oh, Alice!" He whined his eyes immediately scanning the room in search of the foreigner in question.

Peter's eyes then found its way to both Blood and Alice who were both still up against the wall.

Blood backed away from her and Alice cringed, "Ugh! I'm not sure which is worst! Getting _saved _by the axe man or getting eaten by the wolf!"

Julius shook his head in contempt, "At least you have options."

"For once I get a role that actually suits me! I'll save you my love!" He exclaimed while he ran over to the brunette and hugged her tightly.

Alice twitched as the White Rabbit snuggled his face closer to hers and the spectators watched obviously bored and irritated.

"Can we please get this story on with?" Julius finally voiced.

_To tell you the truth… I'm not entirely sure on what's going on… So… in the middle of all the confusion, Red now decided to dance!_

"What?" Alice asked stupefied as Peter swooned, "Dance! Come on, Alice!" He grabbed her hands and began spinning her around in a circle.

"No." Julius deadpanned.

"You wish." Blood snorted indignantly.

"The dance of love!" Peter blissfully exclaimed.

"I'm getting dizzy! Let go!" Alice demanded.

_And they all lived happily ever after._

-.-.-.-.-.-

"The end!" Her brother clapped his hands. His sister looked at him as though he were a moron, "What?"

"The end! It's finished! Nothing more! Good night!" He breathed a sigh of relief as he got up from his seat.

His sister's penetrating stare going right through his back, "You're going to come back here and tell me another story that isn't as crappy as your existence. Now." She growled lowly causing the boy to sweat nervously. "Did I mention… Red filed a restraining order on the axe man and wolf…?"

**-.-.-.-.-**

**This was so hard to write :O two of my fingers have cuts on 'em so every time I pressed a button I was in pain XD But I wanted to write so bad D': But yup… Next time..? I'm gunna try something that appeals to my humorous nature =3= heh.**

**I got some kick ass art for this story! Link on my profile!**

**Reviews would be appreciated ;D**


	5. Snow White and the Seven Role Holders!

**Sorry for the long wait! School is starting soon for me so I was a bit overwhelmed with school stuff and such ^^;**

**Hanayuki: Ffff feel special :'D feel very special! Lol! Blood gets the 'Homo' card pulled so many times because I enjoy teasing him :c but by the end of the day I still allow him to regain his sexuality 8D Go Blood and all your slyness! And don't worry ;P I actually prefer longer reviews lol it's not boring hearing your opinion at all! ^^**

**Ideas in here by PiperDreamer :D**

-.-.-.-

**Chapter 5: Snow White and the Seven Role Holders!**

"Yay! You came back!" The little girl clapped happily as her brother walked in with a huge knot on his head.

"Yeah… I just couldn't _wait _to tell you another story!" He twitched with a faltering fake smile. "So now, I'll tell you a story of righteousness and romance… Snow White and the seven moderately tall grown men whose ages ranged from their late teens to their earlier thirties who could also bring out weapons from thin air… But I'll just call them dwarves."

-.-

_So once upon a time, there was queen who was all evil and stuff._

"Ow…" Alice moaned as she was suddenly dropped on a stone cold floor. Blinking she looked around her surrounding confused until the truth hit her as she looked down at her new robe like clothes, "Snow White." She sighed before she looked around the room she was in. "And I'm the evil queen." She mumbled in disdain.

_Yes. Yes you are. But moving along, the Evil Queen was also part witch._

"Excuse me?" Alice asked with hands on her hips obviously offended, however the voice ignored her,

_As part witch, she was a beautiful woman… But she was also very vain. Because of this, she had a magical mirror that hung on her wall. This mirror she would frequently go to in order for her to know who was the most beautiful in the kingdom. But, to do this, she had to say a special chant._

Alice rolled her eyes as she walked to the huge oval shaped mirror on the wall. Her unimpressed teal eyes stared back at her as she attempted to remember the phrase to get it to work, "Um… Mirror Mirror that stands so tall… Tell me who's the best of them all…?" She attempted out unsure.

_Wrong._

"Mirror Mirror that I hope won't fall… Show me who's the prettiest of them all." Alice said this time a bit more confident with her answer.

_Negative._

Growling, she clenched her fist, "Mirror Mirror that isn't small… Tell me who's the greatest of them all!?" She tried again.

_Nope._

"Mirror Mirror that looks like it was taken from a cheap and tacky beauty salon! Just show me Snow White so this story can get a fucking move on!" She snarled out angrily with a raised fist as she prepared to punch the mirror in aggravation.

_That's not the chant… But hey it rhymed pretty nicely. Kudos._

Instantly, the mirror began flashing a light and image that Alice was familiar with as the background and surrounding for the dream world. With wide eyes she watched as her reflection vanished and in its place was Nightmare who began coughing up blood viciously. Alice sighed at the incubus as he hacked up the liquid all over the front of his shirt. "Oh, God! Thank you!" He gasped out as he wiped his mouth.

"Gray was just about to force a needle in my arm! This story saved me!" He said with a hand to his heart. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just come on and tell me who the fairest of them all is Magical Mirror." Alice deadpanned at the silver haired man who waved his hand, "Your wish is my command." He waved his hand and his image became disoriented immediately as the mirror returned to normal and Alice was greeted with an image of herself again.

Alice blushed as the Narrator fumed,

_Dude! She isn't the fairest of them all!_

"Well, she is to me." Nightmare's voice said from the mirror's direction. His words made the brunette blush deeper.

_Oh, well! Now show her Snow White!_

"But Snow White is anything but fair and beautiful… Maybe to a toad prince…" The incubus muttered sarcastically as his appearance showed up in the mirror once again. Alice blinked, "Who's Snow White?" She asked curiously. "Sorry, can't answer your questions unless you rhyme." Nightmare shrugged his shoulders while Alice glared at him. "Fine. I don't really want to know anyways."

_Yes, you do._

Alice shook her head, "Not really… It'll feel like I'm stalking. That's pretty creepy." She shuddered at the thought,

_Just ask to see who Snow White is, God damn it!_

"Take it easy," Alice said through narrowed eyes, "You can at least be polite." She hissed. The voice groaned,

_Fine. Please ask to see Snow White, Your Majesty._

Nodding in victory, Alice turned back to Nightmare, "Mirror Mirror before I bite, show me the current image of Snow White." Alice tried as she tilted her head to the side. Nightmare chuckled before he faded out of view and the mirror became twisted with an image that made Alice moan, "You're kidding me right!?"

-.-

**Wait! Onii-chan! I'm confused… What's going on now?**

_We aren't following the Queen anymore… This is the seven dwarves' story as they begin walking back to their cottage after a hard day of work._

"Hard day of work? Try nothing but shooting." Boris blandly as the seven of them walked through the forest. "That's because the brats called me a rabbit." Elliot irritably stated. "Chicken rabbit called us brats…" The twins retorted in their adult forms lazily.

"What I want to know is why I got stuck with you lot." Peter coldly stated with a glare pointed at Ace who smiled back hugely, "I'm happy I'm in another story!"

"Ah, cheer up! I'm sure we're basically half way done with this one!" Gowland grinned reassuringly at the White Rabbit who rolled his eyes in response. "I wanna go home. This is boring." Dee moaned as they approached the cottage. "At least Onee-san is Snow White…" Dum smiled at the thought before he opened the door.

"Oh, Alice! My precious princess! I'm coming for you!" Peter chirped before he ran inside one of the rooms.

"… What makes him think Alice is in my room?" Elliot asked irritated. "Don't question the white rabbit's mystical powers… Don't question it…" Gowland said with a hand on his chin as they all jogged inside the room.

All of them stayed frozen in shock as they gazed at Vivaldi who glowered at them all from Elliot's bed.

Boris was the first to snap out his shock, "Ah! That's not Alice!" He shouted with his hands up in the air in surprise.

Peter's face curled up in disgust, "Nothing but a hag…"

The Queen of Hearts glared at them with an impatient expression etched on her face, "We didn't choose this role. The stupid narrator did."

"No kidding." Dee and Dum mumbled under their breath.

"This holds nothing but crushed hopes and dreams now." Gowland breathed out.

"Tell me about it. Disappointment of the millennium." Peter deadpanned.

Ace laughed, "Haha! Who would have thought Her Majesty would be the fairest of them all!? Certainly the mirror who decided that must have either been blind or broken! Haha!" His comment caused a vein to pulse on the Queen's head as she glared at him, "Why are you all in our room!?" She snarled enraged, "It's crowded! Get out!"

"But this is my room!" Elliot defended himself firmly while Vivaldi growled, "Get out of our room now!" Immediately they all scrambled out and closed the door.

Peter blew up a piece of his hair, "Ugh! I want Alice! Not a stupid, no-good, tyrannical, germ-infested wench!"

Elliot, Dee, Dum, Boris, and Gowland all nodded at his words in agreement.

"But wait… If Her Majesty is Snow White… Then who's the Evil Queen?" Ace inquired as suddenly they heard a knock at the door. Silence filled the room as everyone turned to look at Elliot who sighed heavily, "Fine! I'll get it!" He groaned in exasperation before he walked to open it.

"Who is it…?" He questioned through the door.

_Just open the door!_

"Just when I thought the voice was gone…" Peter stoically stated. Elliot rolled his eyes before opening it. Alice stood at the doorway with an irritated expression etched on her face with a witch's costume on. The second Peter saw her at the door he pushed past Elliot hastily and prepared to envelope the girl in a huge, but Alice easily side stepped when he got to close, causing the White Rabbit to go crashing to the floor.

"Alice is the Evil Queen!?" Boris asked in surprise as they all watched at the foreigner who sighed, "It's a change for once… Not that I really like it." She said simply with a shrug. "This narrator deserves to be slaughtered! How dare he make you evil!?" Peter asked devastated as he got up from the ground and hugged her tightly.

Looking past his shoulder, Alice sighed once again while she observed the other role holders, "Here, give this to Vivaldi and tell her to not eat it. It'll make her fall into eternal sleep." She tossed Gowland the bright red apple that he caught with ease.

_What the hell!?_

"What is it this time?" Elliot questioned annoyed.

_Did she seriously just tell you guys what the apple does!?_

"No." Dum said shortly, "Why, whatever gave you that impression Mr. Narrator Person Sir..?" Dee asked slowly.

… _Forget I said anything._

Boris folded his arms over his chest, "Don't have to tell us twice."

Ace suddenly perked up as he recalled the words Alice had previously spoken with a finger to his mouth, "Huh? But doesn't the kiss of Snow White's lover bring her back to life?"

Alice shrugged, "Something like that… I think Prince Charming has to help her. But my role is over. I'm sure you'll all pull your parts greatly! Bye guys!" She waved at them before turning around and preparing to walk off.

Peter caught her arm stubbornly with a sad frown to his face, "No! You can't go Alice!" He whined as she groaned, patting his arm comfortingly she gave him an apologetic look, "Sorry, Peter, but I have to go! Do your best with your role for me!" She stated before yanking her arm out his grasp and running.

"Why am I on the stupid Hag's side!? I want to be with Alice!" Peter sulked as he watched the girl run into the woods. "You're not the only one." Boris sighed. "Can I go to Alice's side?" Ace questioned the sky curiously.

_No! Why would you want to!? Snow White is good… Queen is bad… Understand?_

"Do you? Snow White is a hag. The Queen is _Alice_." Peter retorted simply with narrowed eyes before they all walked back inside the cottage.

"I don't wanna be a dwarf anymore." Dee and Dum pouted. "Being with Onee-san sounds better than this."

"Well, the sooner The Queen of Hearts bites the apple the closer we are to going home." Gowland shrugged as they walked to the room Vivaldi was in.

Inside the room the Queen was laying on the bed, and the second she heard the door open she glared at the intruders, "Out." She ordered through gritted teeth.

"Just eat the damn apple!" The White Rabbit growled while throwing the fruit at her.

Vivaldi scoffed as she inspected it critically, "We doubt this will affect us considering the amount of poison resistance we have." She smirked Peter's way causing the man to glower at her form in silence. "Are you seriously going to eat it?" Elliot questioned in shock as they all watched the lavender haired woman play with the fruit in her hand.

A snort went through the air as she sent him a lazy glare, "Now why would we do that?"

_To go with the storyline!_

"We aren't eating this. It probably has worms and other creatures in it. We don't know where it's been." She said clearly repulsed as she began to slowly crush the apple in her hands. The male role holders sweated nervously at her immense strength as the apple was disposed of on the bed sheets.

_Then what exactly are you supposed to do for the Prince to come!?_

"We can pretend." She shrugged her shoulders as she put her head back down with a yawn, "We're tired anyways. So it works."

_I don't care anymore to tell you the truth. Just… Just please pretend to sleep while the prince comes in!_

The Queen didn't respond as she closed her eyes with her hands over her heart in the notion that she was dead. The role holders sighed, "Wait… But who's Prince Charming?" Ace questioned out again when suddenly the door opened. "… You should really do that more often, Ace." Boris stated.

Blood walked into the room holding his head in pain as he looked around confused, "Argh… What is it this time?"

_So that's when Prince Charming stepped inside the room._

"WHAT!?" Gowland shouted in disbelief, "How the hell is the Gay Hatter a 'Charming' prince! He's as charming as a dumpster rat!"

Blood shot him a glare but said nothing.

_The dwarves then proceeded to explain the situation to the Prince frantically._

"Alright, so here's how it's all going down, Blood. We're in Snow White and Vivaldi needs to the kiss of a prince to wake up so then we can all go back to Cloverland after you both live happily ever after. She's all yours, man." Boris said simply as he gestured to the sleeping Queen.

The mafia Boss held his head, "How untimely. I was thrown out of my bed for this… I need some tea before I start with this nonsense. That woman can wait." He coldly stated before he turned to leave.

"Did he say Vivaldi? Because he meant Alice." Ace smiled innocently.

The Hatter instantly turned his steps around and he began to march back inside the room towards the bed.

"Figures…" The twins and Elliot sighed while they watched their boss. "That's messed up on so many levels." Boris shook his head.

"Alice is mine! Who the hell does that man think he is!?" Peter hissed in frustration with a stamp to his foot.

Gowland narrowed his eyes, "I still don't see how he's a charming prince. More like a dingy scrap of crap on the bottom of dog's ass."

_Okay! Enough!_

"Pushy." Boris snorted. "I know right?" Elliot agreed.

_So anyways, that's when Prince Charming—_

"Once again! I must ask, how the hell is the Gay Hatter the 'Charming' prince!?" Gowland folded his arms over his chest. The voice continued on obviously ignoring the musician's complaints.

At the same time, Blood walked over to overlook Vivaldi's face. His face scowled the moment he realized it wasn't the brunette foreigner he had expected.

_Sees his beloved and gives her the kiss of life and love._

Instantaneously, all the role holders turned to Elliot at the mention of beloved and then back to Blood. Boris cringed in obvious disgust at the notion of the two men kissing, "Oh, God… I do _not _want to see this!"

Elliot blushed while he fumed with clenched fists, "He means Vivaldi, you morons!"

Blood's face turned slightly green as he looked at his sister repulsed at the simple thought of locking lips with her. The twins seeing his facial expressions looked at each other blankly, "… I think he'd rather suck face with the chicken hare." They deadpanned as Elliot gagged and Blood scowled heavily with a glare pointed their way.

Vivaldi shot up from the bed with a heated look on her face, "Ergh! He is _not _kissing us! We'll have the narrator's head if he does!" She hotly exclaimed.

_I… Um… Though she wasn't kissed, Snow White was awoken by the pure love the prince held for her! Yay!_

Peter rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest, "Now we know you're grasping straws."

Ace perked up, "Since Snow White is alright can the dwarves go to the Evil Queen's side?"

_No! She's evil for a reason! And speaking of which, that's when Prince Charming and the dwarves discussed a plan to go and kill the Queen._

"No! If you dare even think about touching my Alice… I'll kill you." Peter threatened lowly. "Who wants to kill Alice!?" Elliot asked fiercely with a glare to the sky. "Why taint an already red apple when I can produce some red on pure white snow…?" Ace asked with a smirk.

Boris snapped his fingers, "Hey, guys! I have an idea! How about we act like we're going to kill Alice but when we get there we switch to her side?"

… _I can hear you!_

"Sounds like a plan." The twins grinned hugely. "Let's go!" Ace smiled. "We're wasting precious time!" Peter sneered before racing out the room with the other 'dwarves' following.

_Guys! Guys! Get back in that room and plot to kill!_

-.-

"Then what happened?" The little girl asked confused at the plot.

"Prince Charming opened up a Bordello and enlisted the role holders and the Evil Queen as employees! Yay!" Her brother clapped in false excitement as he prepared to get out the room. He took one look at the door and saw his mom waiting so he sighed before sitting back down on the bed, "Did I mention that Snow White started a guillotine business in another kingdom?" He asked dryly.

**-.-.-.-.-**

**My apologies if it's not to your liking. I admit, I didn't really like this one too much :/**

**Once again two people couldn't stop being so epically awesome! Got 2 new pics ;D links on my profile!**

**What will be next you may wonder…? I don't know! But I'm open to suggestions XD**


	6. The Swan Princess!

**WTF IS THIS? FATE PWNS YOU? UPDATING? IS THIS A JOKE?**

**Lolz but yeah, credit to PiperDreamer and LunarYamiDemon**

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

**Chapter 6: The Swan Princess!**

"So… You've been doing well in school…?" The faceless brother tried lamely as he looked at his hands nervously.

"Shut up and just tell me a story." She deadpanned obviously unamused.

The teenager sighed heavily, "Fine… I'll talk about the tale of a pair of lovers something-something… You'll learn as I say it."

-.-

_This day was a magnificent one in this particular kingdom… For one, it was the day young Princess Odette and her family went to another kingdom for celebration…_

Alice, now five years old curiously walked down the halls of the castle timidly, "Ah… What's going on…?"

_Her father had arranged for her and the young prince of another kingdom to get married. So they set them up to meet early. But the flawed part of this plan was that they both hated each other._

"Urgh… Where the hell am I?" White Joker, now about the age of eight irritably questioned rubbing the back of his head; he took one look at Alice who was curiously looking at him, "Haha! You're dressed funny!" She giggled while pointing at the red head.

Unamused and forgetting his current surroundings and confusion, White twitched while staring her down, "Shut up, brat."

His intentional hurtful words proved no affect on the younger brunette, "You're really funny!" Alice laughed again while grabbing on his arm with a smile, "I like you already~" She sang out happily.

_Okay kiddies… I need you both to hate each other._

"Eh? Why? He's so funny and weird looking… I can't hate him…" Alice tilted her head to the side while looking up at the ceiling in search for source of the voice.

White Joker attempted to pull his arm out her hold to no avail, "That won't be hard… Get off of me!" He hissed through narrowed eyes.

"Hey, hey~ Is this your house, big brother? It's really huge!" Alice obliviously exclaimed in awe while dragging White ahead with wide eyes. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Let me go! Your nails are like needles into my flesh, you beast!" He insulted harshly.

**Is this going anywhere?**

_No… it isn't… Ugh… I'll just do a time skip… Scene change… Whatever. My head hurts…_

-.-.-.-.-

_So anyways, about ten years later, their parents arranged for the two to meet again._

"Why am I in another story!?" Alice shouted angrily as the carriage she was in bumpily drove on ahead.

The King of Hearts sat across from her frantically attempting to stop her enraged shouts, "Calm down please…" He mumbled while Alice finally stopped as she ruffled up her hair making her tiara fall to the floor. "Sorry." She apologized to the green haired man softly while the carriage came to a stop.

"I don't even know which one this is…" She sighed out again as the carriage door opened.

_They were both older and wiser, so this time, as soon as their eyes met, they both fell instantly in love with one another._

"I am _not _coming out the carriage." Alice blankly spoke after the Narrator's words. "What if the Prince is someone like… Urgh… I don't want to mention any names." She scowled heavily while crossing her arms over her chest. "We must, the Narrator said, did he not?" The King questioned with a hand to his chin.

_See! Finally a character that gives me respect—_

Alice curtly cut him off, "Who cares what he says? No one respects him anyways." She deadpanned obviously earning a noise of disagreement from the narrator, though nothing more was said.

The carriage they were in soon came to a sluggish stop. "I'm not coming out." Alice defied dryly in response to the bump they hit before the stop. The green haired elder let loose a cough, "But mustn't we? To continue on the storyline?"

_See, King-y here has the right idea._

Alice gave the ceiling a dark glare, "No. I can stay in here all day long and—"

Before she could finish, the door to the carriage creaked opened suddenly. Alice and the King of Hearts put their surprised eyes at the door, where Ace stood grinning from ear to ear as he observed them equally astonished.

"Ace is the prince!? Oh God, no!" Alice accidently blurted out before Ace dragged her out beaming happily, "Heya, Alice! What do you know~ Two stories in a row! And you're in this one too! What a coincidence!" He laughed out before throwing Alice over his shoulder. Grinning happily he stepped out the carriage with the King following.

"I'm not the prince if that's what you think. It's a shame… I haven't had my turn… _Yet…" _He chuckled lightly as he began walking to the forest that surrounded the castle causally. The King went after him in quiet confusion but continued on,

At the Knight's words, Alice felt a huge wave of relief flood over her as she let lose a sigh. "You're not the prince… Thank God…" She mumbled quietly under her breath in hopes he couldn't hear her. "W-why would you want to be the prince of any story anyways?" She finally spoke out as silence reined over them with their descent deeper into the forest.

"All you do is get dragged out of your normal activities and thrown in some story to entertain some weirdo who most likely lives in his mother's basement!" Alice reasoned desperately.

_I do not sleep in my mom's basement!_

**He actually sleeps in the attic.**

_Whose side are you on!?_

Ace and Alice ignored their banter, "Why do I want to be the prince…? Isn't obvious?" Ace rhetorically questioned as Alice's face turned slightly blue, "No. It isn't."

Ace let lose a laugh, "Well… There are many reasons!" He exclaimed with a nod making Alice sigh, "Of course there are… Of course there are…"

The red eyed man chuckled at the foreigner's obvious displeasure of the current conversation before choosing to be quiet,

"Now where is this Prince? I want to just see him so we can sign a contract of mutual agreement and afterwards I can get the hell outta here…" Alice grumbled right before Ace set her down to her feet gently within a clearing in the forest. Not too far off, a large pond-lake was within the area giving the brunette a rather eerie feeling.

"Somebody rang for a Prince?"

The voice sent instant disturbia up her spine and made her blood chill. Twitching her eye, Alice turned her head around to view Joker standing not too far off with a pleasant smile plastered on his face as he rocked back and forth on his heels.

"It's nice to see you again, Alice" He proclaimed sweetly. To his left and right were Peter and Pierce, both of whom were glaring and cowering away from the red head respectively while in knight-like clothing. However, at the name 'Alice', the White Rabbit's ears instantly perked up.

"Alice!" He shouted in glee before he pranced over to give the foreigner a hug. Alice, who was still too much in shock over the revelation of the Ring Master being within another story, allowed herself to be hugged by the white haired man. Her eyes glanced over at Pierce whose outfit suggested his own position in the story. Next, she gazed down at Peter's back to get a glimpse of his attire. It was similar to Pierce's to her discomfort.

Reluctantly, her eyes landed back on Joker, who with a happy smile on his face, waved at her, prince clothed and all.

"So you're the prince of the tale then…?" Alice questioned with a tinge of blue to her face. Joker nodded innocently with a small smile, "It's such a change! Especially after the 'Aladdin' incident."

The foreigner lightly pushed Peter off of herself without a word instantly making him sulk, "No! I love you, Alice!" He exclaimed horrified at her sudden rejection. Ace, the King, Pierce, and Joker watched curiously as Alice turned on her heel and instantly began sprinting away back towards the forest vegetation.

_Damn, she runs fast!_

"I'll get her~" Joker chuckled before running into the dense forest.

A few seconds later, he reappeared with the brunette struggling viciously within his hold,

"Put me down! I hate this! You can't be the Prince! Someone kill me!"

"I'm so confused…" Pierce cried softly while watching the two struggle further. "It's a fairytale from what Alice told me earlier…" The King replied simply, "I believe this is the Swan Princess… In order for us to go home, the story must go on."

"Yes. But before that, that bastard needs to let go and stay away from _my _Alice!" Peter snarled angrily with a murderous stare pointed at the Ring Master's direction.

_So yeah, the couple's reunion was a joyous one._

"No! It isn't slash wasn't! I can't deal with this!" Alice shouted finally getting her wrist back from Joker's hold. "I see… So Alice would rather I be the prince then~" Ace grinned with a hand to his chin.

"No." Alice deadpanned with a blank look pointed the Knight's way.

_Shut up! Seriously guys, this is supposed to be the part where the Prince and Princess announce their new found love for each other and what not. So seriously. Shut up._

Joker pulled Alice closer to him and smirked down at her trembling face, "You and I are going to be together longer than forever, my precious princess." He charmingly smiled while the foreigner pushed against his hold in a vain attempt to make space between their bodies. "We are not! Not even in your dreams, sorry!" Alice defied.

The red head pouted down at her, "But you need me to break the spell." He informed her. Alice cringed, "But the thing is… I _don't _love you! So it doesn't work!"

"Details, details," The Ring Master waved off. Pierce blinked as he cocked his head to the side, "What spell? I don't know this fairytale…" He curiously stated.

Everyone looked at him in disbelief while silence flooded over them all.

"… The one that turns her into a goose." The King finally answered with a cough making Pierce dumbly nod.

"Swan." Alice, Joker, Peter, and Ace corrected him with blank expressions making the elder man mumble apologizes for his mistake.

Peter finally stomped his foot and took hold of Alice and pulled her away from him, "This is the last time I'm going to say this, you better stay away from her!" He hissed while Alice escaped the albino's hold with a grimace. "You can stay away from me too, Peter." She deadpanned making the White Rabbit hang his head in a sulking manner. "So cruel…" He mumbled sadly while an aura of failure hung over him.

_Okay. So now, while the lovers—_

"WE'RE NOT LOVERS!" Alice screamed angrily while her face began turning slightly red. "I can change that." Joker persuaded lightly before he licked his lips hungrily. Alice glared at him with folded arms obviously unimpressed.

_Were having their heartfelt moment together, the evil sorcerer Rothbart appeared!_

Alice groaned as she slid a palm to her face, "I swear… If that's Blood... Limbs will _fly_." As she said this, out of the surrounding forest, the mirror image of the man who stood behind her stumbled out the green bushes, "Shit… Another story? What the fuck...? Doesn't the twat that runs these things have anything better to do?" He growled angrily as he approached the group.

The brunette felt her eyes widen and White Joker instantly began chuckling while pulling her back into an embrace.

"Uh… Is Joker playing the role of both the good guy and the bad guy?" Pierce questioned still a bit puzzled. The King nodded with a hand on his chin, "It would appear so…"

"Ohhh. So this means that he gets to screw her either way, right?" Ace blinked with a finger on his bottom lip. The green haired man nodded once again in confirmation making the Knight pout, "No fair~ I want a twin now…"

"Two Aces? Though I see that'd work out well since you already have enough stupidity for two people." Peter grumbled out sarcastically.

"Oi, so this is the Princess? I guess she's kind of cute… Looks like she'd break if I held her too hard though." Black Joker mocked while overlooking the foreigner that nervously cringed at his gaze. "Now, now, Joker, don't say such things about the beautiful princess…" White snickered, though it only made the darker Joker snort with a low sarcastic chuckle.

Tearing her eyes from both redheads, she turned her head to the pond, "… Do you guys think the pond is deep enough to drown in?" She reluctantly asked while slightly blue to her face.

"No! You can't die Alice!" Pierce cried grabbing her out the Ring Master's grasp. He hugged her tightly while Peter growled with angry eyes. "No! No! No! No! No! Don't drown!" He continued obliviously,

"Let me go!" Alice shouted down at the dormouse, who kept his cries coming,

Ace watched the scene continue on in wonder before snapping his fingers, "I get it! This is like a new game or something, right? Well, in that case…" The brown haired young man turned towards Peter and grabbed the White Rabbit by the waist before violently shaking him in a death grip. "Am I doing this right?" He questioned while Peter stayed frozen in shock at the sudden twist of a situation.

"Calm down…" The King murmured out as Pierce, Ace, and Alice's shouts filled the forest air.

Upon realization that their commotion wouldn't be stopping any time soon, Black Joker released a loud and obnoxious cough to earn silence among them.

"Well, the Prince and I have reached a decision."

_What!? You're both supposed to be fighting to the death!_

Alice's stomach flipped while she found herself going back into White Joker's arms and Black Joker deviously gazed down at her. Hesitantly she looked up at the man who held her, to see he was looking down at her with the same expression as his twin, "… What did you two decide…?"

White Joker bent his mouth down to her ear, "I get you on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, while he has you on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays." He whispered instantly making the brunette's ear heat up. "And on Sundays, we'll let you rest for half of the day before we both have our way with you." Black informed her with an informative nod.

Silently, Alice blinked blankly. Everyone looked at her expectantly to have a say in it. Her silence instantly made Ace laugh, "Hahaha! Alice isn't so innocent!"

"Shut up! My poor Alice is just in shock! Don't bother her!"

"Uh… Earth to hag… Anyone home?" Black Joker called with an arched brow. White Joker loosened his grip around her as Alice moved his arms. Like a zombie, she approached the pond slowly with everyone watching her confused, without a word Alice dove head first into the body of water.

-.-

"In the end… Yup… The Princess was sentenced to prison for life by the Prince for attempting suicide… It was never truly explained why he seemed so happy about it though... Mysterious…" The boy thoughtfully stated with a hand on his chin. His sister blinked, "You know what I'm going to say, right?"

"Another story because this one sucked ass?"

"Yeah."

"Already have another in mind."

"You learn fast."

"Only when my life is on the line."

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

**I'm up so late actually updating OTL Lol time flies… Well, hopefully you review and forgive any mistakes =v=;;**


	7. Hansel and Gretel!

**Winter Va-kay anyone?**

**Credit to PiperDreamer on ideas x3**

-.-.-.-

**Chapter 7: Hansel and Gretel!**

"Another story! Yay!" The young girl hyped jubilantly.

"Yeah, yeah yeah… My throat hurts. But this is a story of obvious bad influence. Seriously. Treat your kids like these brats and Mom will probably wack you for bad parenting…"

-.-

_So, to start this off, this is the tale of Hansel and Gretel!_

With his words within the dark forest appeared Alice, once again at the age of five and Ace at age seven stood, both dressed differently than they were originally.

Upon realizing her new surroundings, Alice's eyes instantly got wide, "A-ah! It happened again!" She looked down at her clothes in astonishment, "But this time I'm dressed differently!" She acknowledged hyperly, she then took the time to glance over at Ace, whose eyes were glaring around coldly,

The young boy gritted his teeth, "Where am I?" He folded his arms over his chest, "And why am I dressed like an idiot?" He questioned while motioning to his new, raggedy, dark colored attire.

_Although they were abandoned by their dear father, the two children did not give up hope!_

"We. Are. Both. Going. To. Die." Ace slowly deadpanned instantly making Alice's eyes water up, "W-what!? W-why!?"

The voice from the sky grunted in annoyance from the little boy's negative attitude, but pointedly ignored him;_ They were smart children, and so they decided to leave trail of bread crumbs behind as they walked to find their way back home!_

"First of all, stop finishing your sentences with such enthusiasm. It's giving me a migraine. Secondly, we don't have any bread." The brown haired boy simply stated, his tone of voice did nothing but question the narrator's intelligence.

_Oh, really?_

"Yes."

_Look at Gretel._

"Where did you get that bread…?" Ace questioned the five year old stoically.

Alice glanced over at him, "I found it." She answered in between chews, "I'm really hungry!" She finished with a pout.

Ace glowered at her while extending out a hand, "Well, split it. I'm hungry too."

Alice stuck her tongue out at him, "Nuh-uh!"

"Share."

"Say 'please' first!"

Ace rolled his eyes, "Fine. _Please, _stop being such a stingy baby and share the bread." He once again extended his hand outward towards the brunette who narrowed her eyes at his, "I'm not a baby!"

"Could have fooled me."

"Maybe because you're stupid!"

"Hypocrite—"

_DON'T EAT THE BREAD!_

Both instantly ceased their arguing to clasp their hands over their ears in pain at the sudden noise. "Ah! It hurts! Too loud! Too loud!" Alice whined out still holding her ears. Ace glared up at the sky dangerously, "Wanna explain why?"

_You need it to find your way back home. That's why!_

The young Knight of Hearts took this opportunity to cross his arms over his chest, "Once again, why? You just said our dads dumped us in these God forsaken woods. I don't know about you, but where I'm from, that's considered child abandonment. There's no point in going back home, hell, I'm better off sticking with Smiley over here." He jabbed a finger toward the little foreigner who was currently chasing a dragon fly excitedly.

_He was trying to save you!_

Ace shrugged his shoulders, "He could have just left us on the steps of a friend's home or with someone who'd take care of two kids like us. Leaving two kids to defend themselves in the wilderness? Feh. Now that's crappy parenting."

His words automatically caught the attention of the young brunette who stopped following after the flying insect curiously, her eyes somewhat panicked, "E-eh? Daddy left me?" She asked sadly.

Ace nodded his head, "Yup."

"But why…?" Her voice filled with nothing but sorrow. Ace knowledgeably observed her, "Well, obviously he's in cahoots with my old man, who routinely leaves me in the forest to survive myself in. Though, I gotta hand it to him, I never thought he'd actually be crazy enough to get someone else to dump their kid with me, let alone someone like you."

"W-wait…" Alice interrupted with wide eyes, "Daddy hates me…?" She questioned with her teal eyes filling up with tears slowly but surely.

Ace lazily glanced at her, "Pretty much, yeah." He answered nonchalantly before covering his ears as the brunette began wailing with cries. "That's real annoying." Ace distastefully said under the sound of her bawling.

**You're really mean!**

The former Knight of Hearts kept a blank stare, "Being mean towards others builds character… As well as being dumped in bear infested forests."

… _Dude, not cool. I liked you better when you were an idiot._

"…What?"

_Oh, whatever. Never mind. Back to the story! So yeah, Hansel and Gretel began moving forward, hoping to find anyone willing to help them._

Once again, the seven year old boy interjected, "Why? I can see smoke in the opposite direction. There's most likely a town over there. We should be going that way." He reasoned curtly with a blank expression on his features.

_Because I said so damn it! Now take your sister by the hand and haul ass._

Alice stopped her crying instantly while rubbing her eye, "Eh…? Ali has a big brother?"

_Yeah… Mr. Doom and Gloom right in front of you._

The foreigner looked over at Ace who kept an emotionless stare her way.

"Big brother…?" She breathed out tilting her head to the side slightly, slowly a grin slipped its way on her face before she ran out to hug the elder boy excitedly, "Yay! Ali has a brother! Yay! Yay!" She chanted happily while the Knight of Hearts stood stiff and unmoving within her embrace, obviously annoyed.

Pushing her away with one hand, Ace looked up towards the sky, "And how exactly can we be related?"

_Since I don't want any complications, you both have the same Dad in this story._

With those words, Ace shook his head knowingly, "My old man was adulterous? Pffft. That figures."

Alice blinked her eyes once before they grew bigger with panic, "E-eh! B-but! Mommy and Daddy are married!" She protested strongly, "You can't be my big brother then!" In rejection the five year old took a couple of steps back from the seven year old who leered at her dangerously.

"Ahh… So he wasn't adulterous… He was a bigamist. That perverted, sleazy bastard." Ace narrowed his eyes with folded arms over his chest. "I honestly should have seen that coming."

_You can focus on your family issues later! Just start walking!_

"Brother… Let's go!" Alice whined softly while tugging on Ace's hand towards the darker end of the forest.

"Alright, alright. Stop pulling me before you snap my limb off."

"We can't believe the ignorant narrator made us a child eating witch that lives in an incompetent candy hovel. How tacky." The fair haired Queen of Hearts hissed while crushing her hands to the hard gingerbread reddens of the house in frustration and annoyance.

_The two children then stumbled upon a house that was made entirely of candy and sweets, where a kind, old, old, nice, old, and wrinkly, did I mention old? Lady lived!_

Vivaldi's eyes flashed dangerously as she yanked a piece of the house out into her bare hands before crushing it to dust, "We _know _you did _not _just call us old, you moronic pathetic excuse for a narrator!"

Alice and Ace now came trudging out from the forest while blinking rapidly at the house made of nothing but sweets. Alice's eyes sparkled like a million diamonds at the sight, "Ah! Candy! Candy! Candy! I want some!" She whined out excitedly while hopping up and down.

Ace rolled his eyes, "It's probably poisoned. If you were smart you'd stay away. A pedophile mostly lives there and—" Before he could finish the young girl took a grip on his hand and began dragging him towards the house with nothing but an aura of enthusiasm to rush her forward.

The moment Alice caught sight of Vivaldi in front the house she stopped instantly a few steps from the door, "Oh! She's so pretty!" Alice acknowledged in awe. "Oh, brother… This isn't going to end well." Ace groaned with a palm to his face.

Vivaldi taking notice to the two kids now gazed down at them, instantly gaining sparkles within her eyes, "So precious!"

"Oh, God, not another human trafficker… Geez… I've been doing nothing but attracting them lately…" Ace sighed out with an off looking gaze before Vivaldi brought them inside the house. With both of them sitting on her lap on the couch inside, she immediately began hugging them both,

"So adorable!"

"So beautiful!"

"So nauseating."

With his words, Vivaldi peered down to look at Ace's face, "You look like that annoying, idiotic knight… Yet, you're too cute to be him!" Vivaldi complimented sweetly before hugging the Knight of Hearts.

The brown haired boy instantly began squirming in her grip, "Help!" He cried out towards Alice who blinked innocently, "Don't worry! I'll hug you next!"

_Okay… So after getting the kids inside, they soon feel into a deep sleep._

Once Vivaldi released Ace, the boy rubbed his throat, "I'm not tired. Besides, that lady looks completely weird and suspicious. I mean purple hair? What is this? A Shoujo manga? I don't think so."

_You're too overwhelmed with happiness that she took your ungrateful butt in to even think she's suspicious. Now shut up and sleep._

"Fine, but just so you know; I'm doing it under protest." Ace nonchalantly brushed off while walking to the bedroom. Alice grabbed his hand while they sauntered to the room, and on to the bed, "Sleep with me!" She smiled cheerfully at him earning a scowl,

"Okay, but don't get any funny ideas." He firmly stated.

_Are you kidding me!? She's like five years old! Good grief… Anyways, once the brats— urm… I mean, sweet children fell into slumber; they were awoken by the sound of a terrible and evil cackle… of evil!_

After this was spoken, no sound was heard except for the light snoring from Alice who actually fell asleep faster than expected. Ace and Vivaldi held nothing but deadpanned looks up towards the ceiling.

_I said, they were awoken by a terrible and evil cackle!_

Glancing at Vivaldi and realizing she'd make no attempt to it, Ace shrugged his shoulders, "Mwahahahaha!" He laughed out instantly causing Alice to shoot up from her sleep, "What!?" She tiredly asked while rubbing her eyes, "I heard someone laughing evilly…" She mumbled sleepily.

_Argh! Not you! The old lady!_

Vivaldi's eye twitched, "Quit calling us old or we'll have your head! Fool!"

_Um… Right… Anyways, the children woke up and le gasp! The sweet old— erm… young lady turned into a witch! What a plot twist!_

With his words, the Queen of Heart's clothes instantly changed from the casual-maiden outfit into a darker colored witches wear. She sighed while looking down at herself, "This color on us is drab. Couldn't the narrator have given us more style than this?" She rhetorically questioned while pinching the outfit between her fingers.

_Laughing evilly, she told the children about her plans to eat them!_

"What? No! They're too adorable to eat!" Vivaldi reasoned firmly.

Ace interjected with a blank stare, "May it be noted for future references that she said we are too cute to eat, not that she isn't a cannibal."

Alice ignored the boy's words as she hopped off the bed with tear filled eyes, "Y-you're going to eat us?" She questioned with her voice breaking in preparation to cry. In response to this, Vivaldi frantically shook her head, "No, no, no sweetheart! Auntie Vi would never eat you two!"

"Well good, because if you did eat us, I fully intended to give you indigestion, if not constipation." The young boy remarked stoically earning blank stares from the other two from within the room as he walked out the bedroom.

_AHEM! Now, the kids then tricked the witch into looking into the oven._

Ace walked into the kitchen with his hands behind his head as he stopped by the oven lazily, "What person is dumb enough to look into an oven?"

As he said this, Alice came hopping into the kitchen followed by the Queen of Hearts, seeing the boy's eyes on the oven sparked her curiosity as she peered down to gaze inside the oven, "Ooh, what's in there?" She questioned innocently making Ace's eyes roll, "Figures…"

Vivaldi groaned while opening the oven, "Anything to get out this stupid story."

_Finally we're actually getting somewhere! So, that's when the two pushed the witch inside, set it on high, and cooked her alive! Woooo! Arsonists!_

**What!? **

"What!?"

**You killed the kind, young lady? That's cruel!**

"Poor Auntie Vi…" Alice cried out while hugging Ace, whom blushed lightly allowing the girl to cry into his chest.

_Oh my God… There's no other way to do this._

**But you can't kill her off! She was so nice!**

_Uh… Erm… A little help please, Hansel?_

Ace patted Alice's back awkwardly before pushing her off gently, "Well, first of all, how the heck would she fit in there? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for cooking people alive and then raiding their homes for loose cash and precious family heirlooms, but there's got to be a better way than cooking her. I mean honestly, I saw a hockey mask and an axe right outside. I could put that on and just kill her. There wouldn't be any agonized screams that we're bound to get if we shove her into the oven."

"Auntie doesn't have to die!" Alice continued crying before latching herself on the boy's arm making him blush again, "Get off me…" He mumbled softly while attempting to get his arm back in vain.

"B-but!"

"I said off…"

"Your face is red! You don't want Auntie Vi to die either!"

_Oh for the love of—! Fine! I've got enough of a migraine from this story! After a fierce custody battle with the kids' dad, the witch legally adopted them after the judge saw he left them—_

"In bear infested woods!" Alice threw in helpfully with her aura shining innocently, "Repeatedly." Ace sighed as he now allowed Alice to hug closer to him with a pink stained face.

_And also saw the witch was fit for guardianship, thus becoming their new mommy._

"**Yay!"**

"Yay!"

"Whoopie."

-.-

"So that's the end?" The girl curiously asked while tilting her head to the side, her brother nodded shortly, "Yup… In the end though, Hansel and Gretel grew up, and Hansel somewhat forced Gretel into an incestful relationship… needless to say, he got many fan girls for such a daring thing…"

"What's insectful? Did he farm ants?"

One glance at his door immediately signaled the boy that he shouldn't inform his sister to the concept with a grim nod, "Um… Yeah. Sure. Let's go with that…"

"Ants are creepy…"

"Yeah, yeah, Mom looks like she's about to kick my ass so how about another story?"

"Yay!"

"Whoopie. Freaking. Doo."

**-.-.-.-.-**

**I love Kid Ace and Kid Alice together XD really I do.**

**I'm up late to see a Lunar eclipse ;u; It's happening around 1-2am in my time zone… So if anyone wants to hit me up with a review/PM/collab I'm online… As bored as hell OTL**

**I need to update A Darker Wonder damn it! Fffff ;n; *lazy***

**Also, I'm willing to take suggestions again on the next story XD *don't kill me with them though lol* I was originally thinking Beauty and the Beast and it was to be filled with Yaoi but I'm bipolar and said no to it 8D**


	8. Cinderella!

**Hiiiiii!**

**-.-**

**Chapter 8: Cinderella!**

Fanning at his neck while getting himself more comfortable in his seat, the fair skinned faceless boy cleared his throat while his head turned in position to watch at his seated sibling, "Okay, now I'm positive this story will get you going."

Despite her lack of eyes, the clear cynical expression his sister held was all too obvious while she blankly sat in position facing him.

"Get me going where?" She questioned sarcastically.

Her brother coughed into his hand, "Hopefully to a sleep from which you will never wake up again."

"Excuse me?"

If their kind had eyebrows, there was no doubt she'd be arching one up challengingly.

Immediately catching himself, the boy sat up straighter, a slightly nervous grin to his lips, "I said sleep! Which I hope this peaceful, non-bloodshed ridden story will help you do!"

-.-

_Once upon a time, in this kingdom that is totally fictional, there lived a wealthy widower. He was so wealthy and stacking up, that aside from his late wife, everyone was pretty sure he had a bunch of sideline hoes just waiting in line because he honestly had the facial appeal of a sugar daddy. _

Elliot found his eyes widening in surprise the moment he found himself spontaneously within a new, unfamiliar area. His first reaction had initially been shock, but it only took him a couple seconds to piece together what had just occurred.

A sinking feeling made its way to his stomach as he smacked his forehead and let out a huge groan, "Not again, damn it!"

_He had a daughter, one that was incredibly beautiful, sweet, and patient despite the loss both of them had to endure._

"Shit." Alice immediately cursed when she found herself suddenly thrust into a completely new environment. She bit her bottom lip and glanced down at her attire to try and see if she could discover whatever story she was pushed into this time.

Inwardly, she prayed it wasn't something where she'd be victimized yet again…

Her eyes moved around the room and when they landed on Elliot, she felt relief wash over herself very quickly.

"Oh, God! Elliot!" She exclaimed as the Mafioso now became aware of her presence.

His bleak expression immediately lit up and he moved over a few steps to get closer to her, "Alice!" He smiled at her in obvious relief, "I'm so happy you're here! Well, I mean I'm not happy that you're here, I'm sure you were doing something important before, but, well, uh…" He trailed off as he attempted to find a way to explain himself.

"I get it, don't worry." Alice laughed off lightly when it became apparent the hare was having trouble getting his words together.

_Okay, you guys are father and daughter not lovers, chill out. Anyways, the sugar daddy rich widower eventually got remarried!_

"Please don't be Vivaldi. Please don't be Vivaldi. Please don't be Vivaldi. Please don't be Vivaldi. Please don't be Vivaldi. Please don't be Vivaldi." Elliot chanted with his hands pressed together in the form of a prayer above.

Alice uneasily glanced around in anticipation for whoever was going to appear.

The blonde and brunette both found themselves silent the moment they saw the newcomer enter the room.

"Is this a joke?" Blood growled out as he found his vision instantaneously changing from his meeting room to that of a more worn out appearing room. The raven haired man darkly glowered up at the ceiling, "I don't have the time for this. Take me back right now or I swear—"

Before he could continue, Alice gave a groan of frustration,

"You have _got _to be kidding me!" The female gripped her hair and gave both pieces in her hands a yank, "Of all the damn people to be the evil stepmother, you had to pick him!"

His former upset mood entirely forgotten, Blood found a smirk coming to his lips as he began sauntering over to both his right hand man and the foreigner, "Perhaps staying for a bit wouldn't be much of a problem."

_Along with this new stepmom that his daughter got, she also acquired two stepsiblings as well!_

On cue, the trio all found their eyes moving toward the stairs of the house where the sound of footsteps descending came to their ears.

Alice instantly found her dread on the impending situation taking a farther turn downward when she came to the realization that the stepsiblings were both Dee and Dum, their attire fitting to the book's setting and their ages older than her own.

"Brother, look! It's Boss and the chicken hare!" The ponytailed twin proclaimed, a grin resting on his face as his sibling snickered, "Don't you mean mother and father?"

Whatever dread had been filled in Alice's stomach instantly disappeared as she found a hand flying to her mouth whereas both Elliot and Blood seemed to stiff, the former more incredibly red than the later that appeared to have a tinge of blue moving to his skin tone.

"Watch it, you brats! We're not—"

"Actually…" Alice weakly intervened with wide eyes as both Blood and Elliot turned to watch her, "With the roles set up now… You and Blood _are _married."

The Hatter tilted his head down, his hat sliding down to cover his eyes whereas Elliot blanched, his expression clearly desperate to deny the claim, "N-no! T-that can't be right!"

"It's completely right." Dum scoffed, his arms swinging over Alice's shoulder as Dee mirrored the action, both their heights dwarfing the foreigner that jumped in surprise at their presence,

"Just like how Alice really is our big sis now." Dee remarked with a gleeful look down at the female that was now attempting to squirm her way from their hold.

_Thanks for stalling up the story. I really appreciate it guys._

"Are you even serious?" Alice deadpanned.

The twins at her sides pursed their lips, "Maybe if you want a story that isn't a complete failure," One of them began, "You'd give us both more benevolent roles." The other finished.

_ANYHOW, on with the important story that I'm supposed to be telling. Eventually her pimp sugar daddy father died or something and the daughter was left with her stepfamily._

"Pimp daddy! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Sugar daddy! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"He is not my father!"

"I think you guys have your priorities in the wrong order!" Elliot shouted out to the three, "What happens if I die for real? This isn't funny!"

Dee and Dum stuck their tongues out at him, "If you die in a story you obviously won't die in real life, you stupid rabbit."

They turned to look at one another slyly, "I bet he doesn't want to die off because he'd rather stick around to try to make another child with Boss."

The hare growled, "And you know that _how _exactly!?" He could feel his hand instinctively moving to his side in order to retrieve his gun, however before he could a single solid tap of a foot hitting the tiled floor seemingly echoed throughout the room.

All four of them instantly turned to Blood who watched at all of them darkly.

"All of you, that's enough." His voice icily spoke.

Instantly they all of them stood up straighter and silenced themselves.

_Thank you. Now, as I was saying! So, her wealthy father kicked the bucket._

"I am not dying!" Elliot protested loudly to the ceiling,

"He's not even wealthy." Dum snorted, "Our savings could probably buy off his life and a few extra years to it too." Dee agreed solidly.

Elliot grunted, his eyes flaring up, "That's it! You both are—"

His words went uncompleted as he poofed out of thin air.

The sight was enough to cause all the occupants in the room, Blood included to watch the spot where the hare had once been go empty with wide eyes of surprise.

"Um." Alice unsurely coughed out after a moment of tense silence.

"Did he really just…?"

"He really just…"

"Is he going to be okay!?" Alice worriedly questioned out, "He didn't die, right!?"

_Okay, continuing with the story, the now parentless daughter was forced to live with her cruel and wicked stepmother and stepsiblings!_

"I can't go on with this dumb story after Elliot just exploded!" The girl shouted out, "Bring him back!"

Blood gave her a skeptical look, "He didn't explode. He just disappeared. I wouldn't be too worried."

Turning her attention over to him she huffed, "He's your husband! Why aren't you more concerned!?"

Dee and Dum both let out snorts, their hands flying to their mouths to stifle their laughter as the foreigner strongly glared up at the raven haired hatter.

Blood's eyebrow gave the slightest twitch, "_Pardon?_ I don't think you'd be too bothered as to repeat that again, would you?" His tone was edgy and daring and Alice scowled, clearly unafraid.

"You heard me!"

_Oooh. Defiance. I like that. So yeah, her stepmother being as wicked as she was basically forced her into servitude within the household in the absence of the girl's father._

Blood gave her an analytical stare, "How fitting."

"Excuse me!?" Alice questioned with furrowed brows, "Hah! You can try with that! Nope, not even for the sake of the story continuation would I even—"

As though on cue, her simple and pressed clothing suddenly found themselves changed to that of tattered and dirty rags.

"Seriously?" She dryly muttered beneath her breath while clothing at her skirt.

"Excellent, while you're all dressed up for the job, the kitchen, living room, dining room, sitting room, the staircase and all of the second floor needs to be swept and scrubbed. Oh, and make sure you wash out the bathroom, I want the toilet sparkling." Blood commanded making the brunette narrow her eyes at him.

Her reaction made him chuckle lowly, "When you're finished with all of that, be sure to clean my room, who knows? You might even find a surprise waiting for you in my bed." He sent a wink her way that instantly made her gag.

_Wait, did I skip over the part that gave the reason for her name?_

"You're asking us?" Dee questioned boredly, "This story is so boring, I want to go home now." Dum agreed lightly.

_You can go home when the story's over! Now, where was I? Oh, right, so basically she was called Cinderella because the cinders from the fire place always got on her when she cleaned it, so yeah._

"Thank you for that." Alice blandly stated, "Can we get to the part where my fairy god mother takes me to the ball now?"

Blood tilted her chin upward in order to make her eyes meet his, "Why the rush? Surely spending some more time with 'wicked' little me can't be that bad."

"In this story you are married to Elliot and you are my stepmother, I am going to ask you once to take a step back because you are making me very uncomfortable."

_You get uncomfortable about that but no one has yet to question how his children look old enough to be his brothers._

Alice cringed, "Yeah, and that too!"

_Okay, but enough of that! So, stepsisters make fun of her and make her life miserable! Stepmom, you keep doing whatever it is that you are because she seems to hate you already!_

"Don't come near me!" Alice hissed while taking several steps away from the three dark haired males. Her hand came upon a candle that was held up at the wall and despite the fact it was unlit, she still held it out threateningly in their direction, "I hate you guys enough as it is! There, happy!?"

Unsurely, Dee and Dum watched at Blood as though for instructions on what to do.

Not without breaking the sly smirk to his lips, he waved them off to give them permission to do as they wished.

The sight was enough to make Alice tense up while both twins began approaching her with mischievous glints in their irises.

Their hold on her was tight and despite her squirming, she knew she wasn't going to be freed any moment soon.

"Ugh! Let go of me!" She demanded, not ceasing her attempts at freedom. Her eyes briefly locked with Blood and she found her cheeks flushing while he didn't make any attempts to hide his amusement on her position.

"Big sis, come and clean our room!"

"Not now brother, first we play with her and then after our room gets dirty she can clean it."

"We can't play with her if our room's dirty, that'd be gross."

"It doesn't matter, when we're done with her it'll all be dirty anyways."

_So, continuing along,_ _one day, the mailman came delivering a very important letter._

Blood glanced over at the door as a letter was pushed beneath it at the crease.

Ever so conveniently, yet in no sense physically possible, the paper floated upward and toward his awaiting grasp easily.

"That did not just happen." Alice remarked from between the twins' compacted arms.

Not paying her any attention, Blood effortlessly opened the envelope before taking out the letter from within, "Hmm…"

"What's it say?" Dee inquired curiously while Dum rested his chin on top of Alice's head, causing the foreigner to give a grunt of protest.

_The letter was an invitation to the prince's ball!_

"It's an invitation to the prince's ball."

_The evil stepmother regarded the children nicely and told them that they could all go, the only exception was that Cinderella had to clean the whole house and get together a proper outfit in order to go as well! _

Alice watched at Blood dumbly before he turned to look at the three of them coolly,

"Dee and Dum, get your suits. Young miss, you and I are going as each other's dates."

"What!?"

_What!? No! That's not how the story goes!_

"Did I ask?" Blood rhetorically questioned, his face entirely serious before he returned his attention to Alice, "Anyways, hurry and get dressed, I don't have all day."

_Follow the storyline! _

"I'm following my own, and if you have a problem with that, I dare you to stop me."

"Are you seriously fighting with the narrator?" Alice huffed out, "Give the man the respect he deserves!"

Blood shot her a leer, "You're just siding with him because you don't want to be my date."

Alice openly rolled her eyes, "How dare you accuse me of such a thing even though that is 100 percent correct? You know something, Blood? It says a lot when I rather side with that moron than you. Try fixing your attitude."

"Okay, fine. If you want to constantly side with him you might as well get back to scrubbing the floors since that's what he wants."

"Maybe I will. It sounds more appealing than sticking around here talking to you."

"Bye."

"Bye!"

_How old are you two?_

"Sometimes they act younger than us…" Dum muttered.

"It's funny how they're only like this around each other." Dee agreed with a sigh as Alice stomped off.

Blood snorted, "I have a ball to attend and so do you two. Start getting ready."

_I think now would be a great time for a scene change, alright? Okay._

"I hate him, I hate him, I _hate _him." Alice seethed out as she aggressively scrubbed the inside of the toilet.

_As Cinderella sadly contemplated not being able to go to the ball that night, she could only think about how much fun everyone there must have been having._

"I hope his carriage fell off a cliff."

_Despite her sullen thoughts, she was still positive! Perhaps if she finished early, she'd be able to make it!_

"I'd rather drink bleach then go to that shitty ball and see Blood's ugly mug."

_Ugly? You did not just call him ugly. _

Pausing from her scrubbing, the girl cocked a brow upward, "What?"

_He isn't ugly! I mean, I know you're pissed at him, but he's actually pretty attractive, like damn._

"You can't be serious right now." Alice growled between gritted teeth, "Shut up! Shut up! I don't want to hear it!"

_No! You're misunderstanding! I'm not siding with him! I'm just saying yeah, he's a bastard but he's not ugly or anything!_

Plugging her ears with her fingers the brunette began going off in an effort to block out his words, "Lalalalalalalalala!"

_Cinderella, come on now. Even you have to admit he's kind of cute._

"We are not having this conversation, go away."

_Sounds like you two have a lot of unresolved sexual tension. You should try being more opened to him about your feelings._

"Is this real life?" Alice groaned, her hand moving to her temple, she could feel her embarrassment beginning to grow, "You're like 15 and you're giving me advice on this kind of thing. Please stop."

_Hey, I'm just trying to help. I may be the narrator, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you guys personally._

"You lying piece of shit! If that were the case you'd stop making us go along with these stupid storylines!" Alice hissed, "Speaking of which, just let me go home! I don't want to go to this stupid ball, I don't want to see the stupid prince, I just want to go back to Cloverland!"

_That's right, just let it all out._

**Is this therapy or is this Cinderella?**

"It's a joke, that's what this is." Alice mumbled while blowing up a piece of her bang before she returned to scrubbing away at the white bowl ahead of her.

As an afterthought she clicked her tongue, "I don't even think toilets existed back in this story's timeline!"

"And yet, there you are complaining your head off while you clean one."

Hearing the new unfamiliar voice made Alice immediately rise her head up in surprise, "What the—" Her eyes grew significantly wider when she found herself locking gazes with Julius.

_At that moment, Cinderella wiped her tears and came face to face with her Fairy Godmother!_

"_Julius?_" She questioned out in disbelief while she found herself scrutinizing his attire. "You're my Fairy Godmother?" It didn't take more than a second for a smile to break out on Alice's face before she smacked a hand over her mouth in an effort to tame her giggles.

"How many times are we going to go through situations like this?" The mortician dryly muttered.

"First Grandma, now this! Pffft! I swear, you haven't had any princely roles yet, have you?" She curiously inquired while pushing a bit of her hair past her ear.

The bluenette snorted, "No and I don't plan on it. Just being a side character is irritating enough."

Nodding in understanding, Alice sighed, "I wish I could be a side character for once. But nope, instead I'm stuck being 'Princess' every single damn time—"

_So, instead of the pointless chit-chat, the Fairy Godmother tells Cinderella that she's going to the ball!_

"I don't want to go." Alice defied with a shake to her head.

Julius shrugged before turning his gaze to the ceiling, "She doesn't want to go."

_It's not about what she wants! It's about getting her to the ball to meet the prince!_

"I don't want to meet the prince. What if it's Joker again?"

_It's not!_

"You're a liar."

_I am not!_

"Prove it!" Alice challenged out fiercely.

_I will if you'd just let your Fairy Godmother do the thing!_

"The… Thing?" Julius grimaced his face up in confusion, "What's the thing?"

"I think he means when you Princess-me up. But that's so stupid, I bet if the 'prince' saw me as I am right now he wouldn't love me. He shouldn't have to see me all dolled up to be attracted to me. I don't want to be with someone that only wants to be with me because of a little Snippity-Snoppity-Snoo!"

"It's actually Dippity-Doppity-Doo."

_You're both wrong! It's Bippity-Boopity-Boo, and Jesus Christ I didn't ask for a feminism essay! He'll love you for you but you're not getting into the ball smelling like a toilet!_

"I smell like toilet _cleaner,_ thank you very much." Alice huffed out indignantly.

_You know what, now I see why your stepmom doesn't like you._

"Anyways, am I doing this or not?" Julius asked the foreigner that waved him off, "It depends, if either of the Jokers are the prince can you promise to come and get me before they can touch me?"

"I can't guarantee if I'll still be in the story by then, so no promises."

"Hey, is he still going to be in the story—"

_Are you really discussing prince escape plans now!?_

Alice blinked, "Well, yeah?"

_He's your one true love!_

"If it's anyone from Cloverland I can guarantee that they are not my one true love and I do not want any of them touching me under these circumstances." She listed off simply.

_Wow, okay but I bet if Fairy boy over here was your prince you'd jump into his arms singing 'A Dream is a Wish your Heart Makes'. Double standards._

Both occupants in the bathroom flushed slightly, "How is that a double standard!?"

_You say you don't want anyone touching you but I bet you'd let Fairy boy touch you anywhere he wants in a heartbeat. Don't even try to deny it, I see right through you._

Alice flushed, "You—!"

"You know what? I've had enough of this. Clippity-Cloopity-Cloo." Julius chanted out with a wave to his stick want in his hand, his eyes shut tight and his cheeks growing redder with each second passing.

Before Alice even had a chance to respond, she found herself surrounded by an abundant amount of sparkles as the lights within the bathroom somehow, mysteriously dimmed down while lights from the wand began to trail around her.

She closed her eyes as she felt the magic going about her.

When her feet touched the ground again, she reluctantly opened her eyes and found her eyes meeting with Julius once more, "Uh… Did it work?" She unsurely questioned as the mortician look at her blankly.

His expression made her gaze down at herself in uncertainty before she found her eyes widening in horror,

"Julius, this isn't a dress! This is a pumpkin costume!" She proclaimed out while clutching the round ends of her attire in both confusion and exasperation.

"So, I'm done here. The spell should wear off at midnight. Your pretty carriage is waiting outside for you. Have fun at the ball." Julius quickly replied while putting his wand back up his sleeve and moving his hood back over his head.

Alice grunted, "Julius! You said the spell wrong! Please redo it! I can't leave the house like this!" As the clock fixer made a dash toward the door, she attempted to trail after him, but when she came to the door her round orange outfit couldn't fit through.

"Ugh!" After a few more times of attempting to force her way through to no avail, the brunette gave one last groan of frustration before she waddled her way back over toward the toilet to sit.

_Wow, this really took a turn for the worse._

"You think?" Alice acidly responded, "Can the story just end now?"

_It can't end until—_

"Okay, listen here. I can't meet the prince because I am in a pumpkin and I can't even leave the bathroom, much less leave the house. I also do not have a glass slipper, so unless you plan on making me give the prince a piece of my outfit to make pie with, the story can't finish regardless if I went along with what you say!"

…_God, you talk a lot._

"Somebody please shoot me." Alice moaned into her hands.

_Okay, okay, no need to get fussy! I'm the narrator, I can fix this!_

"Oh? And how exactly do you plan on doing—"

Alice found her eyes widening in surprise as her surroundings changed from the white tiled bathroom to a more elegantly lit ballroom filled with numerous amounts of faceless beings all dressed in extravagant and slightly ugly clothing if she had any room to judge.

"…That…?" She lowly finished as she began to look over the new dress she was placed in, "Whoa."

_Come on. Tell me, who's the man? Who's the man? I'm the man!_

"This dress is such an ugly color, aren't I suppose to be the best dressed person here?" Alice scowled before pointing at a couple not too far off, "That girl has a prettier dress than me!"

_Would you rather have come in the pumpkin!?_

"At this rate, honestly, I might as well have. Ugh, and these glass slippers are so clear that's so gross no one wants to see my toes! You could have at least made them a bit more opaque, or given me a chance to polish them!"

_You are literally such a girl. Just be grateful you aren't naked._

Alice rolled her eyes, "Gee, thanks." She sarcastically retorted before she began walking, "So where's the prince?"

_Ahem, allow me to continue on with the story. After arriving at the ball, Cinderella took in the sights around her with wonder and curiosity. _

"Hey, have you seen the prince?" She questioned one of the faceless that shook his head.

"What about you, have you seen the prince? Tell me, does he have red eyes? Is he scary looking? Does he have an attractive face but sociopath smile?" She asked two women that both shook their heads before taking sips of their wine.

_That's when Cinderella began walking off on her own for some alone time from the party atmosphere…_

"What? No! If I do that I won't find the prince!"

_You're so eager to find the prince when you were wetting your pants over avoiding him earlier! I don't understand you!_

Alice clicked her tongue, "Well, I want to get out of this damned story! Sorry for having the ability to change my mind!" She pursed her lips and crossed her arms over his chest before she began walking out toward one of the halls that ultimately led to one of the palace's balcony.

As she leaned over the ledge she glanced down at the drop off skeptically, "Alright, if the prince is someone I don't like, I can climb down and reach one of those trees and get my way down and then run home. Perfect."

_You're coming up with an escape plan!? _

"Maybe."

_Even if you don't like the prince as a person, for the sake of the story you need to suck it up._

"You can shut up. If the prince is someone I don't like, I'm so out of here, I'm not even taking any chances."

**Can we move this along?**

_O-oh, right, of course! So that's when the prince showed up! The moment we've all be waiting for!_

"Oh, Christ." Alice lowly breathed out, her grip on the marble ledge tightening considerably and her eyes shutting.

A tap was felt on her shoulder and she tensed.

"Aww, do I look that bad that you have to keep your eyes closed?"

Registering the voice, her eyes opened immediately and she turned to her side to look at Boris grinning at her cheekily.

Without a moment of self control, Alice found herself flinging over at the male to incase him in a hug of pure bliss, "It's you!"

"It's me! Hehehe, I'm so happy! I'm finally the prince for once!"

_See, I told you!_

Ignoring him, Alice pulled away, "You literally do not understand, I had an escape route made just in case the prince had been one of the Jokers or something."

"But it's me, so now you're going to go along with the story properly for once?" He questioned with a smile that made Alice hold a hand up, "Whoa, slow down there."

"Eh? But I'm not Joker!"

"Yes, and I am grateful for that."

"So what's wrong with going along with the storyline!?"

Alice glanced off, "If we're going by the storyline, we're supposed to dance and stuff and I can't do that, so I won't. We can drink and have a nice whimsical chat about stuff we'd rather do than be stuck here, but other than that… Well…"

"Oh, come on! Dancing will be fun! Besides, Dee and Dum will be _so _jealous! They were already mad when they saw I was the prince!"

"Why do you sound so happy about being stuck here?" Alice distastefully asked as the pink haired male began tugging on her arm.

Boris grinned, "If I'm stuck here with you, it's not bad at all, right?"

He released her and took a step back before he took a bow before her, "I'd be honored to have this dance, Miss Liddell."

Alice sighed heavily, "Alright, but just this once—"

_Okay, I know I'm interrupting a very huge moment in the story, but I have to cut things short._

"What?" Boris' ear twitched as he and Alice paused to turn their attention toward the sky questioningly.

_My sister fell asleep! I'm off duty! Sorry, not sorry, but the story ends here!_

"Yes!"

"NO!"

Boris clutched his head, "Are you fucking serious right now!? No! No! No! I was about to get my chance to shine with Alice! Everything was going to go perfectly with no mishap! No! No! No! Ughhh!"

"Boris, calm down it's not that serious—"

"If I jump off this balcony would it kill me or would I just end up landing on my feet?"

_Wow, you guys work that out amongst yourselves, I'm just done._

"Boris, get down from there!" Alice shouted over to the male that was now standing on top of the ledge with a wistful expression on his face, "I lived a good life. Tell Alice that I love her, Cinderella."

"If you want to dance, I'll do it with you back in Cloverland, just stop being so melodramatic and get down!"

-.-

Rising up from his seat, the faceless teen eyed his slumbering sister nervously.

Carefully, as to not make any noise, he tried making his way to the door. His steps were nimble to prevent the wooden floors from creaking and just as he found his hand reaching the doorknob he heard her grumble from behind him.

"When you're finished going to the bathroom or whatever it is you're doing, you better get back in here and tell me a proper story with a proper ending."

Her command practically held a hidden threat and the teen boy found himself gulping.

"Y-yeah! Of course! I was just going to get some water, ahaha…" He trailed off uneasily before he quickly moved to run out.

**-.-**

**This has been ridiculously unfunny and I shall blame the 3 years I've been away on that fact, haha. But anyways, Darker Wonder is next (Maybe).**

**Hopefully I can think of a funnier chapter after this, taaa!**


	9. Jackie and the Beanstalk!

**My laptop screen is like slowly falling apart, just like psychological stability of all these Cloverland characters.**

**Shoutout to my buddy That Masked Chick for helping me get some ideas rocking.**

**-.-**

**Chapter 9: Jackie and the Beanstalk!**

The faceless male let out a sigh as he scratched his cheek, almost deep in thought, "Hm… Well, I'm currently experiencing a brain fart—"

"Hehehe, fart." The little girl childishly repeated while letting out a giggle into the palm of her hand, causing her sibling to crack a grin, his tired expression somewhat lightening up at the change of mood.

Shaking his head, he kept his attention toward her, "Anyways, I can't really think of anything. Do you have any requests?"

As though pondering the question for a second, the girl put a finger to her chin thoughtfully as she released a low hum.

After a few seconds, she snapped her fingers, "Oh! Oh! You should do Jack and the Beanstalk!"

Confused, he tilted his head to the side slightly, "Jack and the Beanstalk...? Uh, are you sure?"

"We read it in school a while back! It's _so _good! Pretty please tell it!"

Frowning, her brother shook his head, "That tale seems pretty graphic for someone your age."

With a pout she watched at him, "No, it's not! I'm brave! I can handle it!"

Sighing once more, he attempted to give her a smile, "Alright, alright. But if you get scared, don't blame me."

"Yay!"

"Alright, so here goes…"

-.-

_Once upon a time, there lived a young boy named Jack._

"Okay, you really need to stop doing this." Alice groaned, a hand going to her temple in order to rub at it soothingly, "It's slowly starting to become normal for me and that can't be a good thing." She muttered with a tinge of blue to her face.

_Young Jack lived with his widowed mother in one small little cottage._

"Another story!?"

Alice sighed with her arms folding over her chest as she watched Gowland scramble about, his words voicing his disapproval on the situation while she watched at him blankly.

With his hands clutching at his head, the older man began pacing back and forward, his words frantic and rushed, "Of all the times! It just _had _to be during one of our meetings! If I get a penalty for this, I'm going to—"

"Ahem." Alice coughed loudly into her hand when it became apparent that her existence was becoming practically nonexistent to him.

Gowland momentarily stopped to look at the female, his expression only softening for a moment before he ran over to clutch her shoulders tightly, his eyes locking down into hers, "Alice! I need to get out of this story right now!"

Surprised at his sudden movement, Alice blinked, "H-huh?" She winced under his grip, "Why's that?"

"The territory leaders were having our meeting! I'm breaking a rule by not attending! I need to go home! How do I go back!?"

_The two of them were incredibly poor and the only thing keeping them living was a single cow whose milk they used for a way of food and making money._

"Uh… Well we have to get through the story?" Alice unsurely answered causing the brunette to deliver his palm to his face with a loud moan of displeasure.

Alice watched him with uncertainty before the male got to the floor into a fetal position.

"This is the end. Just kill me. Do it before Julius or the Queen do."

"I think you're overreacting."

_One day, the cow stopped giving milk!_

"Overreacting!?" He exclaimed while removing his arms from his face, "When the Gay Hatter decided to skip out on the meeting, by the time the Queen was done with him, I'm pretty sure that just sealed the deal with his sexuality."

_Thus, Jack's mother told him to go to the market in order to sell the cow off!_

Alice squinted, "Er, what?"

"I'm pretty sure that just sealed the deal with his sexuality."

"Okay, I heard that part, but I mean what does that mean?"

"It means he doesn't like girls and the Queen of Hearts probably changed whatever chance he had of being bisexual."

_Unfortunately, after succumbing to persuasion by an old man, Jack ended up selling the cow for a mystical pair of beans! _

"You're confusing me." Alice sighed out with a hand to her head, "Anyways, I'll try to progress with the story as quickly as possible so you get to go home and finish the meeting!" She reassured with a smile as she reached down with her hand to help him upward.

Gowland pursed his lips right as the brunette put a finger to her lip in wonder, "I'm just trying to figure out what story we're in right now… The narrator has been awfully quiet—"

_His mother hadn't been happy with that, in fact she was so upset she sent Jack to bed without supper that night after tossing said beans out the window._

The older man turned to Alice as though for assistance on the topic and the female could only blink,

"Uh… Wait, am I Jack or am I the mother?" Alice inquired upwardly in confusion.

_You are Jack but of course._

"Eh…?"

"But that makes me his mother?" Gowland repeated out, a cringe making its way to his features, "Who do you think I am!? The stupid Hatter!?"

Alice gave Gowland a glare, "Did you just say 'his'? Do I look like a boy to you?"

_Why are you both getting so upset? _

"I'm just saying this role was best fit for Dupre, that's all."

"That's taking it a bit too far," Alice mumbled with a half-lidded stare the Amusement Park owners' way, "Especially when I'd be the one suffering if that was the case."

_They're just roles! They don't reflect who you are as a person!_

Gowland snorted, "That's a lie."

_How so!?_

"Alice is always the main character of these stories and if you ask me that's pretty accurate considering that she's literally the main character of our games—"

"Ssssh." Alice hushed with her index finger to her lips, she moved her second finger to Gowland's lips as she lowly whispered, "You're saying too much."

_Moving along. Overnight the beans ended up growing unbelievable proportions! By the time Jack looked up, it seemed to extend all the way up into the sky!_

Both brunettes glanced around the area, only catching in their sights a single cottage and nothing but endless flat green land with a couple mountain ranges seen in the distance.

"More lies from our friendly neighborhood narrator."

"It's expected, isn't it?" Alice inquired dryly, her hands grabbing at her shirt, "But can we please discuss what I'm wearing? Hm… I can't remember this story… I wonder if Lorina ever read it to me before…" She skeptically muttered, mostly to herself with a hand moving to her chin thoughtfully.

Normally she was capable of knowing what tale she was in with only a few clues, but now nothing was coming up.

Jack?

She remembered something about a pirate named Jack… There was also a candle story or poem about him… Nothing about cows and beans though.

_No, because you're getting ready to climb the beanstalk! So, after Jack's mom went inside to like, take a nap or get a pedicure or something,_

With his words Alice found herself watching anxiously as Gowland vanished in thin air, similar to how Elliot had done before.

"Erm."

_Jack decided to investigate the beanstalk himself!_

Still unsure, Alice twitched, "There is no beanstalk to investigate."

Immediately after her words, she found herself flinching back a step when a thick, green object sprung out from the ground below her feet only a couple inches away from where she stood at a rapid pace.

"Oh, come on! I thought you said something about Gowland throwing the beans out the window! The cottage is at least like twenty five feet away, I really doubt he threw them this far." The foreigner argued with a shake to her head, "Inconsistencies don't make a good story."

_Neither do whiny protagonists._

Alice leered up at the sky, "False. Whiny protagonists lead to character development. Shitty narration unfortunately, can't lead to anything except nobody wanting to hear the story."

_I do not have the time nor patience for your sass, missy. So continuing on with the tale, that's when Jack decided to climb up the beanstalk to see where the beanstalk led up to!_

Rolling her eyes, Alice folded her arms over her chest, "First of all, I'm not going anywhere until you stop calling me Jack." Alice defied with a huff.

_Ugh. Are we really going through with this again?_

Alice scowled, "It makes me sound like a boy. You don't have to call me Alice, but at least give me a feminine name! I'm not even asking for much!" She exclaimed up to the sky with her hands to her hips.

Up above, a loud sigh was heard before the narrator gave a grumble.

_Okay, fine! That's when JACKIE decided to climb up the beanstalk to see where it led to!_

Now, Alice scowled, "Why would I do that?"

_Are you serious? You just said you'd do it!_

"It obviously goes up into the sky, I doubt it's high enough to break into space, so it stops at some point. Realistically speaking, if I climbed it, I'd end up dying from lack of sufficient oxygen up there and if I don't even make it to that point, I'd probably just end up falling to my death because these shoes aren't even suitable for climbing." She glanced down at her thin and flimsy footwear with a frown.

_Just climb the beanstalk, Jack!_

"Jackie."

_Jackie! Just climb the beanstalk, Jackie! There, happy!?_

"Alright, alright. But I'm not doing this for you; I'm doing it for myself." She clarified before moving to grab onto the foliage ahead of her. Surprisingly, it was easy to climb up and despite her disadvantage in inadequate attire; it wasn't difficult to get her footing right.

Huffing, Alice found herself reaching for a piece of the stalk that was outward enough for her to take a seat on,

After scooting on, she wiped the drops of sweat that were beginning to form by her eyebrow, "Phew, wow, I need a break."

_Really!?_

"Yes, really."

_YOU'RE NOT EVEN FIVE FEET OFF OF THE GROUND YET!_

Alice flinched while putting both of her hands over her ears while the beanstalk itself began to tremble slightly.

Reluctantly, she gazed up at the sky, "Stop yelling at me! If I'm tired after climbing up four and half feet, then I'm tired! You can't get pissed at me for being physically inactive!"

_You never seem to have trouble breaking into sudden sprints when a guy is chasing you?_

"That's what you call an adrenaline rush."

_I feel like you're just bullshitting me now._

Sticking her tongue out, Alice swung her legs freely, "Well, my break is over, so you can untangle the knot in your undies." Standing upward, she clutched back at the trunk of the stalk before she began her ascent once more.

"I still wonder what this thing leads to… Probably some prince in a cloud castle or something." Alice stated with a slight cringe to her face.

_Uh, sure. Yeah. Let's go with that._

"What's with that tone?"

_What tone?_

"You know what tone." The brunette retorted with narrowed eyes, "God, is the prince finally Ace? I don't think I'm mentally prepared. We don't have to kiss, do we?"

_Anyways, as Jackie continued climbing, after some time that felt like forever, she finally reached the top!_

Surprised, Alice found her eyes growing wide as she clutched at the green vegetation tightly. One second ago, the ground that had only been roughly six feet downward, now was practically invisible pass all the small passing clouds below her.

It was amazing how that kind of magic worked.

She had to have been thousands of feet in the air.

"W-wow!" She breathed out in amazement, "Uh… So where do I go now?"

_I was getting to that, ahem. So, at the top, she now decided to hop off the beanstalk and start exploring._

Twitching, Alice glanced upward, "Start exploring!? What exactly am I suppose to explore!? If I step off this thing, I'm going to go falling to my death!"

_You won't! Why would I kill you off!?_

"Because I was the one that started the rumor in Cloverland that you probably tell stories to your friends about girls that—"

_Okay, never mind, just chill out, my sister's here with me, she doesn't need to hear those things. But if I wanted to kill you off, I wouldn't be so coy about it. So just trust me! It's for the sake of the story!_

Alice released a sigh as she gave the view below the beanstalk one last glance before she shut her eyes tightly and sent one quick prayer off in her mind.

"God, if this is where I die, I just want to say sorry for burdening my family, sorry for never finding the balls in myself to punch Blood at least once, sorry for never finding out if Ace keeps his camping supplies in his boxers, sorry for never seeing if Boris even has another eye under his bang, sorry for telling Julius that if he ever got married, I could only imagine him in a wedding dress, sorry for always thinking about how large Gray's junk is in front of Nightmare so he'd stop reading my mind, sorry for that time I lied and told Peter I was a lesbian so he'd leave me alone and didn't make any attempt to stop him from getting a sex change until last minute, sorry for—"

_Alright! Geez, you said this prayer would be quick; you're literally giving me an essay!_

"Sorry for never getting a chance to track down the narrator to unleash the fury that is Alice Liddell on him. Amen."

_Thanks._

"Okay, here goes." Alice breathed out as she slowly brought one of her feet out to touch the opaque cloud before her.

To her shock, her foot didn't phase through it, in fact it had a pretty solid holding on top of it.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she removed herself from the green beanstalk to stand on it.

"Why was I even worried in the first place? I forget that so many things in this world don't make sense to the laws of physics." Alice muttered with a scratch to her cheek while she kept her gaze down at the cloud she stood on.

_Continuing the tale, our righteous heroine came upon a giant home at the top of the beanstalk! Curiously, she began to approach it!_

"Er… Why is that house so big?" The female inquired out slightly nervous as she slowly began taking a couple of steps backward.

_No, Jackie. Forward not backward. Progress not congress._

"What does that mean!?"

_I don't know! The opposite of pro is con! So progress and congress are opposites!_

"Fascinating," Alice mumbled distastefully, "But am I small or is the house just big?" She unsurely questioned while looking down at her attire.

_Both! Now, let's get a move on! So, Jackie approached the house now._

Alice frowned, though she complied and made her way toward the door. It kind of freaked her out how it was quite possibly 100 feet tall.

That meant that the inhabitants inside were less than that, but still, she didn't want to see who it was.

_Realizing that knocking on the door was futile, she noticed that there was just barely enough space beneath the door for her to squeeze through and get inside!_

"That's breaking and entering, no!" Alice exclaimed with a hand to her chest, "I can't just break in!"

_You're not breaking in, you're crawling in!_

With pursed lips, the foreigner held up a nagging finger, "That's not any better! To go inside of someone's home, you need permission!"

_So you're going to knock your puny hands on that door and actually expect to be heard?_

"It's better than illegally busting my way in like I own the place."

_For the love of— Okay, you know what!? The owner of the home encourages cute brunettes named Jackie to enter whenever they feel like! Yay! So Jackie was able to enter without penalty!_

Narrowing her eyes, Alice scowled though she said nothing more before she got on her stomach and began to slide herself beneath the door with a low level of difficulty.

"I've successfully preformed a crime, what would you like me to do next? Rob the place of its furniture? Stab someone? Shoot them in their clock?" Alice sarcastically questioned while brushing a stray bang from her eyes.

She then turned her attention to the area around her and she found herself resisting the urge to give a breath of defeat.

Everything inside was large in scale to how the outside of the house was.

How was she supposed to accomplish anything in a place this big?

_Seeing her surroundings made Jackie so excited and curious!_

"I'm actually getting faint and I feel like I'm heading into the danger zone." Alice piped in with a slight squeak, "Can I please go back down the beanstalk? I have a bad feeling…"

_So excited, that she decided to do some exploring!_

"I am so out of here!" The foreigner exclaimed before doing a 180 degree turn on her heel and making a beeline straight for the exit.

_Freeze!_

All at once, the brunette found her body coming to a halt in mid-step. She groaned inwardly while cursing at the narrator as she found her body involuntarily turning back around and being forcibly pushed ahead.

_She found that everything in the house was bigger than her!_

"No shit." Alice blandly remarked when she finally found control coming back to her limbs, but she knew she was already far from the exit and getting back would take a lot of effort.

Glancing around, she came to discover she was within the kitchen. The black and white tiled floors somewhat reminded her of the Hatter mansion and she kind of cringed at the thought of being trapped in there at her current size.

She'd probably be squished in no time flat.

"I'm not so sure about this."

_Don't tell me you've lost all your spunk now. Come on, this is the story where you'll need your energy and attitude!_

"Considering I'm about the size of a rat in the house of someone that may or may not be too fond of me, I have every right to be nervous! Don't tease me!" Alice pouted, "J-just get the story on with! Just please don't make a giant spider attack me or something!"

_Oh, no, never. That'd be cruel. Alright, so continuing on in this tale, once in the kitchen, Jackie started looking for food because she was so hungry._

Alice pulled at her hair, "Figures. First you make me break into some giant's house and then you start making me try to steal from them. You're trying to make me provoke them, aren't you?"

_Don't make me use my narrator powers to make you do it by force._

"Take it easy." Alice warned with her hand raised up defensively, "I'm so tiny… Even if I wanted to steal food, opening the refrigerator would be impossible…" She sighed out.

_You have no sense of imagination._

"Trust me; I have my fair share of imagination. My creativity is fine. I'm just being a realistic here."

"Aliceeee."

Perking up, the foreigner held a hand toward her heart as she began looking around frantically.

The voice sounded that much close by and she was able to recognize it as Nightmare.

When she couldn't see anyone around, she found her eyebrows furrowing, "Nightmare?" She questioned out reluctantly.

"Alice, stop squabbling with the narrator and come up here with me! I'm more important! I'm also getting bored and lonely up here!"

The brunette paused for a moment before she craned her neck upward to the counter. It was so high up and a flat descent up so her hopes of climbing were cut short.

"Are you up on this counter?" The girl asked unsurely right before the male gave a loud hum, "Yes! Now get up here quick! Maybe you can help me from this mess!"

Expectedly, Alice gazed up toward the ceiling, "A little help?"

_I was getting there. So, as Jackie made her way onto the counter of the home…_

Alice found herself blinking as her surroundings instantaneously changed and she was now toward the edge of the corner that she had been staring up at only a moment ago.

Looking down at the far fall below, she took a step back with an expression on wonder to her face.

_She found herself coming face to face with a talking gold harp!_

"Not so sure if I should feel bad for you or just laugh." Alice ironically remarked as she approached the male that struggled against the bindings he was placed beneath.

He was relative to her size, and he was strapped to the end of a gold shining harp with what looked to be dental floss if Alice had to guess.

Nightmare narrowed his eye at her, "Or just hurrying up and kidnapping me would work."

"Kidnap you?"

_The harp played the best music ever heard. Once Jackie heard a single note of it, she knew she had to take it with her back home._

"This is awkward." Alice coughed into her hand stiffly as she put a hand to her chin and began inspecting the harp, "Uh… This thing looks like it weighs triple my weight…"

"Are you calling me fat?" Nightmare inquired back at her as she rolled her eyes,

"How about I just untie you and you walk on your own?"

_No! You can't untie him! He's a part of the harp!_

"No, he isn't? He's literally just strapped down to it, like someone just stuck him against it and tied him up. If I can just get a knife or something, I'd be able to slide the stuff off easy." Alice attempted to reason though Nightmare sighed,

Pursing her lips, she put her hands to her sides, "So, what? Am I supposed to kiss you and turn you into a person to break the 'harp curse' or something?"

"I don't know what you're saying. I'm too busy being a harp. Harping and doing harp things."

"You complain for me to come up here because you're lonely but then when I'm here, you want to be unhelpful, okay, bye." The brunette waved off as she began to walk away.

Nightmare's eye instantly widened as he watched her, "No! I was kidding!"

Alice halted her steps and watched at him boredly.

"Why do you always get mad at me for staying in character? You're so mean."

"Because no one has the time for staying in character for these stories."

_Even though earlier you complied with my words, okay Jackie. You can be tsundere all you want, but I see right through you and your lies._

"Soon-dare-a?" Alice slowly repeated with squinted eyes toward the ceiling.

Nightmare scoffed, "It's best not to get involved in our personal affairs Mr. Narrator Man. It was an A and B conversation."

_Anywho. That's when the harp tells Jackie of the other riches in the house, to include a goose that lays golden eggs!_

"If gooses are capable of laying golden eggs, doesn't that mean the value of gold has decreased?" Alice arched a brow upward, "What good will that do me?"

Almost as though ignoring her, the narrator continued completely unaffected.

_Right after he said that, the harp also told her of the fearsome giant that lives in the house!_

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that." Nightmare mumbled easily causing the hairs on the back of Alice's neck to stand on ends, "W-what!?"

He turned to her with a yawn, "So, there's this giant that kind of lives here. He's kind of scary and stuff and if he finds you here, he's going to kill you."

"What!?"

"Most likely from eating you."

"Again, I repeat, what!?"

"Yeah, something about grinding your bones into his bread… Or was it grinding it into his beard…? Or moustache maybe? I can't remember."

Alice clutched at the front of her shirt, her expression rapidly becoming panicked, "How do you just let something like that slip by your mind!? My life is on the line and you just—"

_Suddenly, the ground began to shake as the giant neared!_

"Pfft." Nightmare softly snickered as he watched Alice begin to have a meltdown only a couple feet away from where he was situated.

The brunette held her head and began pacing in a circle, her whole demeanor clearly shaken and on the break of hysteria, "I'm going to die! I'm going to die!" She repeatedly stated as her mind began to circulate over the identity of the giant.

"It's going to be one of the Jokers and they're going to eat me!" She cried out in terror at the mere thought of it, "Shit! No, no, no, no!" She moved her eyes back to the edge of the countertop, "If I fling myself over will the fall shatter my bones before he can get me!?" The female questioned loudly to nobody in particular, right as the countertop began to shake.

_Must you always contemplate suicide whenever those two are involved?_

"Normally I'm just over exaggerating, but in this case I'm dead serious! I might as well kill myself before they do!" Biting her thumb, she anxiously turned her head toward the entrance to the kitchen along with Nightmare who held a pout to his lips.

"Graaaaaay." Nightmare whined, "You came way too early, it was funny watching Alice freak out."

The instant Alice's eyes rested on Gray's face, she found every single piece of fear, panic, and suicidal notion in her evaporate into nothing but pure relief.

"Saved again! Thank you, God!"

_You mean, 'Thank you, Narrator.' _

"I'm safe for another story, I'm so happy. My luck has been getting better." Alice moaned into her hands.

Nightmare pursed his lips, "Come on, Gray, if you're going to be the giant you have to say the thing."

Shuffling in somewhat awkwardly, Gray held a hand toward his mouth as he cleared his throat, "That's way too embarrassing."

His gaze rested on Alice who was still on her knees with her hands clapped together as though she was praying aggressively.

"Uh, sorry for worrying you Alice… The narrator told me to make my entrance as prolonged and dramatic as possible, but I didn't really understand what that meant."

_You were supposed to say the rhyme!_

"Three five four one, I really want a honey bun?" Gray questioned with a squinted eye, "That doesn't sound very threatening."

_What is up with you people and not knowing classical rhymes, I swear to God._

"It's fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman, be he alive, or be he dead, I'll grind his bones into my bread, or bread, or moustache, or something." Nightmare laughed off, causing Gray to sigh heavily, "Well, I'm sorry but this role isn't my thing."

"Yeah, I can tell."

"I didn't freak you out too much, right Alice? I apologize if I did." Gray stated as he neared the counter and looked down at the female that now was turning her attention upward to him. He couldn't help his thoughts from escaping into how cute she looked at her current size. She practically looked like an adorable little doll.

_Are you for real right now!?_

Exhaling out loudly, Alice put a hand to her hip and rubbed at her forehead once more for what felt to be the umpteenth time, "It wasn't really you that should apologize. But seeing as Nightmare _knew _you were the giant, I think I should at least punch him for letting me panic." She gave the incubus a glare that he nervously chuckled at.

"April Fools…?" He attempted weakly.

_Okay, enough of this! The giant is supposed to eat her right now! Or at least try to! After all, she's trying to steal his precious harp and she broke into his home!_

"What!? You forced me to break in!" Alice hissed out with a glower of disbelief directed upward.

"The lady can't keep her hands off me, what can I say?" Nightmare shook his head solemnly while Gray flushed, "I can't eat her!" He exclaimed up to the ceiling with wide eyes, "She's too cute to eat!"

"Should I be worried about the fact that you called me too cute to eat and not say you aren't a cannibal?" Alice dully stated up to the assassin that turned to her sheepishly, "T-that too! Sorry! I didn't mean it like that!"

… _Why does this sound familiar?_

"What?"

_The whole cannibal discussion, I feel like I'm having déjà vu._

"But I'm not a cannibal!" Gray frantically attempted to defend himself while Nightmare cracked a grin, "Technically, it wouldn't be cannibalism."

Both Gray and Alice turned to look at the male as he now let loose a howl of laughter, "It'd be _cannibaliceism_!"

All at once, the incubus went into a fit of laughter as his whole body began to quake from the amount of chuckles that escaped him.

The two more sensible beings in the room watched at him blankly as he continued on laughing.

"I can't breathe!"

"You need to work on your sense of humor." Alice muttered with a palm slowly rising to her temple.

"Nightmare, sir, control yourself before you—"

"Hahahahahaha! Cannibalice—Ack—!"

"Nightmare!"

Alice could only watch with half-lidded eyes as the silver haired male successfully managed to hack up blood from his mouth and allow most to slip onto his bindings while Gray anxiously appeared torn between reaching to help him and backing off to wait until he was finished with his coughs.

"Better get to a harpspital." Alice sarcastically commented, earning a sad expression from the dream demon that now covered his mouth in an attempt to cease his coughing.

"Not funny!"

"I think I'm harplarious."

"Now you're just getting desperate, that didn't even fit!"

"Sorry, didn't mean to pull your strings the wrong way."

"Alice!"

-.-

"I don't even know when I lost influence over the plot." The faceless boy silently wept into his hands as his sister watched at him in curiosity.

"So what happened in the end, then!?"

The male sighed, "If I could make a guess, the giant allowed Jackie to stay in his house and freeload off of him because whenever she was around the harp was less annoying but then one day the giant ended up playing his words wrong and accidently told Jackie that she was quote on quote 'cute enough to eat' and Jackie may or may not have left to never return."

"Oooh, these endings keep getting better!" The little girl clapped excitedly, "Another story! Another story!"

"Alright, but only because I'm starting to have a little fun with them."

**-.-**

**Curiously, would anyone have any objections to including Sidney or Crysta in this? I'm rather fond of them both as characters. Unfortunately, I don't know much about Jericho so I can't exactly vouch for him. ****But having Sidney and Peter interacting with Alice at once would basically be the croutons in the salad that is life.**

**If you left a review and gave me your thoughts it'd be much appreciated. Hope you liked it!**


	10. Rapunzel!

**Do I have to mention there are spoilers for Dia/Dia Mirror in here? Well, just in case yes there is haha**

**I shall end up sacrificing many virgins to the Gods all in the name of the lovely PiperDreamer for bestowing her brilliance upon this chapter, amen.**

**-.-**

**Chapter 10: Rapunzel!**

"Can I at least request a story or whatever?" The faceless girl gave a huge sigh with her hand was brought upward to inspect her finger nails in a jaded manner.

Sweating nervously, the teen scratched his cheek, "Uh… Sure…?" He slowly brought his glass of water to his lips to drink.

"Perfect. Can you do that one with the girl with the long hair and the tower or whatever?"

A bit surprised at her request, his eyebrows shot upward, "Wait… You mean _Rapunzel_?"

"Yeah, her."

"I'm not sure if that'd be your kind of story, sis…"

The faceless girl rubbed her temple, "I've had to sit through your tales of mermaids, sexual harassing wolves, threesomes, and pumpkin girls. I don't think Rapunzel would be that much different from what you normally think up."

Sighing, the boy placed his water down on the floor before straightening up and clearing his throat, "If you say so… Well, time to start the tale of true weave wearing proportions or as the more sensitive like to say 'extensions.' But it's all horse hair anyways; I don't know who those girls think they're fooling."

-.-

_Alright, so here's how it's going down. Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a very grouchy, very moody, very grumpy, and oh so pregnant lady._

Julius groaned the moment he found his surroundings change before his eyes.

"Damn it." He cursed lowly before glancing around suspiciously, "Where am I now?" He reluctantly questioned with folded arms.

_You are in a kingdom far, far away._

"How informative."

_Anyways, she didn't have the baby bump yet because she only recently did the frick frack with her husband._

Julius' eye visibly twitched while he stared up at the ceiling, "Did you just say, _she_?"

_Well, yeah. You're the only one here so far and you're pretty much preggers. Didn't I just say that?_

Groaning loudly the Clock Maker instantly began pacing toward the cottage's exit, "This isn't even biologically possible, I'm out of here."

_Wait, wait, wait! You didn't even let me finish!_

"You've given me the role of a pregnant woman; there is no need for me to hear you finish anything." He bluntly retorted with his hand on the door knob with a glare directed at the ceiling.

Unconsciously his hand rubbed at his stomach and he paled a bit before his grip on the knob tightened, "What story is this anyways?"

The last thing he wanted was something Greek mythology-like to happen and have a kid burst out of his stomach.

For some odd reason, the image of Ace popping out came to mind and left him feeling the slightest bit queasy.

_We're doing Rapunzel. _

"If you're mocking my long hair, you're going to have to try harder."

_Just let me carry on with the story, yes please and thank you! AHEM! So, as I was saying. The pregnant lady didn't have the baby bump yet but she still knew she got knocked up by her husband, who was incredibly handsome but a total pansy._

"It's going to be Nightmare isn't it—"

His words came to an abrupt end as Jericho spontaneously appeared within the room, his back facing the mortician that uneasily sweated at the sight.

"—And Jesus Christ, if I've told you guys once, I've told you a million times, you have to break the leg before you…" Jericho blinked his eyes once, "Wait a minute, what the hell? Where am I?" The man glanced around him in nothing but bewilderment.

"Jericho?"

Turning around, his eyes met with Julius' and instantly he brightened up with a smile, "Ah, Julius! Feels like forever since I've seen you!" He chuckled out good naturedly before walking closer to the dark haired male that sighed, "Care to explain where we are and how I just poofed here? I was in the middle of some important business."

Distastefully, Julius inclined his gaze back upward once more, "So Cloverland and Heartland aren't enough for you? You're bringing in Diamondland residents too?"

"What are you talking about?"

_Look man, I'm getting sick of dealing with some of those other people. They never respect me. Bringing in some fresh victims—er, characters, is exactly what the doctor ordered. _

Hearing the ominous voice from above made Jericho's eyes widen in alarm, "What the hell is going on!?" His hand went at his side to retrieve his gun and Julius gave him a tired look, "Take it easy."

When the mafia boss gave him a look to continue, the Clock Maker shook his head, "Lately, there's been a strange phenomenon going around in both Heartland and Cloverland where the role holders are being forced to play in these fairy tale situations. You and I are being forced to play one right now. I'm surprised you were just dragged in to be honest."

"Fairy tale situations? So are we like actors or something?"

"Something like that… Except we're not acting and everything tends to get incredibly awkward depending on what role you're stuck with."

_Explanation time over! Okay, so moving on, the happy couple—_

Jericho held a halting hand up, "Whoa. Hold on one clock shooting minute, er excuse my analogy Julius, but did you just call us a couple?"

_Yes._

"A couple as in 'a couple of dead bodies' or a couple as in 'the couple's dead bodies?'"

_The second one._

"... Can I go home now?"

Julius snorted, his face showing his displeasure on the developing situation, "I'm just surprised he used us instead of Dupre and March for this role."

His words earned him a curious look from Jericho, "Huh? The little whiner and his psycho bodyguard?"

"Heart, Jericho. Not Diamond. Heart. Stay with me."

The mafia head smiled nervously while he scratched at his head with a small laugh, "Sorry, sorry. I keep forgetting that the different versions of ourselves differ depending on the territory." As an afterthought he watched at the plain faced man in wonder, "Speaking of which, how's my Heartland self been doing? Is he still being badass?"

"I guess you could say that if it weren't for that fact that he's dead."

"Oh."

_Come on, this isn't reunion time; let's get this show on the road!_

Julius gave the sky a silencing glare while Jericho sighed heavily, his hands moving to his sides,

"Well, this just got a bit more awkward. But curiously speaking, did Ace kill that one too?"

The mortician didn't appear too eager to continue the conversation but he nodded his head seriously, "Yes. It was quite the display. Hacked off his limbs then cut his entrails out before setting them on fire. It was very slow and very, very, very messy, not to mention loud."

Jericho groaned, his palm slamming into his forehead, "Why does he keep doing this, damn it? I practically raised him and the thanks I get are dismemberment and disembowelment! Whatever happened to my bitter, pessimistic little boy!?"

Giving the male a question look, Julius squinted his eyes, "You used to leave him in bear infested forests when he was a kid."

"Leaving small children out in dangerous forests to fend for themselves with minimal rations and a bowie knife builds character."

"And what a character you've made."

_Dude, excuse my language, but what the fuck!?_

Both men glanced upward.

_You can't just leave little kids out in forests to fend for themselves! If it doesn't kill them, it'll end up leaving lasting psychological problems!_

"Well, it's a bit too late to tell me that now isn't it?"

_You're so screwed up._

Jericho uncaringly shrugged his shoulders, "I'm a mafia boss, you can't expect anything less."

"In his defense, one time he didn't let Ace go out alone. He let one of his friends go with him." Julius pitched in with a nod, causing Jericho to hold his chin, "Yeah, that was weird. I thought I made one of my underlings go, but when Ace came back he was saying something about how unreliable some little girl was or something? I don't know it's fuzzy."

He then slipped his hands in his pockets leisurely, "Also, it's not like I'm some uncaring douche that just tries to kill the kid. I didn't start sending my men to attack Ace until after I was sure he could defend himself properly."

_I have no idea what you're both saying, but I'm just happy the witch takes your kid because you'd both be terrible parents. Anyways, since the waifu was preggers she was hankered for weird stuff to eat. In this case a plant that was being grown by the neighborhood witch. Though he loved his wife, the husband was a bit hesitant to venture out to the witch's for the plant._

Instantly after his words, Jericho's gaze moved over to the male that closed his eyes firmly, "I'm not hungry."

"He's not hungry." Jericho announced above.

_Yes, yes he is._

"Yeah, you are." The Dodo nodded at Julius who gave him an irritated look.

_The wife was so desperate for the plant that she begged her husband for it until he ultimately gave into her wishes._

Already cringing at the very thought of demeaning himself to such a degree, Julius groaned, "With the way you have my character raving, this plant must really be something... Is it possible that it's actually Cannabis?" He inquired skeptically.

At the mention of the plant, Jericho found himself grinning hugely while the voice above made a pause.

_Cannabis…?_

**It's weed.**

"It's pot."

Julius cleared his throat, "I can understand why my character wants it so badly then. However, I can say that personally I don't want it. I don't mess with drugs, especially since the last time an assassin tried killing me with them and I started hallucinating those things with Alice going on a killing spree in the Clock Tower then turning into Gowland and serenading Ace with those old romantic tunes."

Jericho stood in silence for a moment, his face clearly attempting to make sense of what his companion was saying, but after a few seconds of failure to do so, he gave a large groan, "I really feel as though I'm dreaming right now. I really hope I'm not. I told my helper to wake me up before I started to dream, shit… I'm going to end up dying."

_Maybe if you wanted to go back home you'd keep going on with the story so your role could end._

"Why didn't you just tell me that from the beginning!?" The male shouted out in aggravation before he gave Julius a salute, "I shall return with your pot."

"I don't want the pot."

"We can make brownies with it if you want."

"I don't want it."

"Or coffee cakes or something."

"… You know what? Just go. Have fun."

_Scene change!_

-.-

"Holy shit, that was cool." Jericho exclaimed as he looked around his surroundings in awe. "You should teach me how to do that…"

_Uh, I think giving someone like you this kind of power would be dangerous. But anyways, the husband then snuck into the witch's garden._

Looking ahead at the seemingly abandoned estate, Jericho shrugged to himself before pushing past the rusted iron gates and following a path forward to get up closer.

When he neared the side of the house, his eyes came upon what looked similar to cannabis.

_Wrong plant!_

"What?"

_That's not the plant your wife wants!_

"I thought we established that Julius was craving weed brownies already, how is this the wrong plant? I'm like 100% sure this is Mary Jane." The Gravekeeper firmly stated with a nod to his head. As an afterthought he gave the sky a brief look, "I can test it out to make sure if you want?"

_No, that's not what I meant, geesh. I'm not trying to influence my sister with a drug dealing story. The plant you want is the rapunzel plant over there… No, no, not there… Turn your head a little to the left… I said the left! Urgh, not your left, my left! Okay, yes! Right there! Perfect! Now pick it and leave quickly before the witch catches you._

Jericho placed a hand to his chin suspiciously before he placed some of plants in his satchel and stood to his feet and held his hands up in the air harmlessly.

_Wait, what are you doing—_

"Hello to the witch of this garden, wherever you may hide! My name is Jericho Bermuda and I am taking this rapunzel plant in order to get out of this crazy dreamland! I also took some of your marijuana just because I can! Oh, and since your house looks like it should be condemned anyways, I hope you don't mind if I set it on fire." He finished before going into his pocket and taking out a box of matches.

_What the—!?_

Tossing about five lit matches at the worn down wooden estate, Jericho watched as it slowly but surely began to spread until the whole thing was glowing under the orange flame.

"Beautiful." The Gravekeeper sighed proudly while looking at his handy work.

_I had my doubts about you raising the Knight before, but now I'm convinced, whoa. But in continuation of the story, right after the husband managed to steal his worth the witch of the estate then made an appearance!_

With his words, Jericho found himself owlishly blinking as Sidney poofed before him, the lop eared Black Rabbit wearing a black cloak that draped over his form fluidly.

Holding a hand to his head while he struggled to find balance, the raven haired male groaned, "Where the blazes am I?"

"The Prime Minister…? He's the witch?" Jericho dumbly inquired out slowly as Sidney now came to terms with his environment.

Taking a step back, he gave the man before him a solid look, "Mr. Bermuda, if this is an attempt on my life, I don't know how to notify you of this the proper way, but I can inform you that if you really wished to kill me it would have been best to burn the building after I got inside. Now, what exactly am I doing here? I was in the middle of paperwork."

Not at all phased by his words, Jericho sighed, "According to Julius, we're the starring characters in a story. If we listen to what the Narrator says until the end, we get to go home."

Eyebrows furrowing, clearly not understanding Sidney eyed him skeptically, "I see… The Clock Maker is here as well?"

"Yes, and apparently he's my wife." He folded his arms over his chest and gave a heavy sigh, "Pretty crazy, right?"

Sidney stared at him, "… I always held the suspicion that the relationship you shared with him was a bit too deep to be considered platonic."

In the background, the house began collapsing on itself as the flames continued tearing at it.

Not wincing, the two men continued their conversation casually.

"No, no! It's not like that! It's just for the story, dream, thing…" Jericho awkwardly attempted to defend himself before he let out another deep breath, "Listen, can I just have these plants?" He held up his satchel for show, "If I get them, I get out of this dreamland apparently."

Shrugging his shoulders, Sidney glanced around, "Do it. The sooner we get out of here the better. If I don't return soon, I fear Queen Crysta may just end up growing too bored and freezing the entire servant caste again."

The exasperated look on his face became that of surprise as the Narrator's voice boomed from above.

_What are you doing!?_

Catching himself, the male straightened up, "I'm giving him the plants so he can leave this story. I can only hope that my turn will come next."

_No, you're supposed to be angry with him for stealing from you AND burning your house!_

"Not only is that not my home, but I also have no reason to be upset. I don't even know what plant he decided to take." Sidney attempted to justify up to the sky.

Jericho coughed, "Mostly weed and some other kind of useless plant."

_With that being said, the witch demanded compensation for the man's thievery!_

The two males momentarily appeared at a loss on what to do before Jericho shrugged his shoulders, "Alright, if you let me take this, I'll leave that settlement near Diamond Castle alone for a month."

"Deal."

_No, wrong! The husband gives up his to-be born daughter to pay for the plants!_

"Pot."

"Pardon?" Sidney questioned through squinted eyes.

The voice above gave an exasperated noise.

_Since the husband stole from the witch and he didn't have any true way to pay her back, she demanded to have his child after she turned five years old as payment. God, do I have to explain everything to you guys? Even though the others were rude, at least they were able to get with the program instead of constantly asking questions._

Sidney made a face, "Why would I want a five year old child as payment for anything? I'm not a pedophile." Groaning, he looked around the area for some means to escape, "There really is no way out of here until we finish this bloody story, now is there?"

"For the record, I would not sell a child for some pot. A weapons catch, some land, immortality, or maybe even some of the fancy booze the Castle of Diamonds has, but not for pot, especially this little amount." Jericho threw in firmly.

_Okay, you both are giving me a bigger headache than I anticipated. I'm carrying this onward._

-.-

_Now, about six or so years in the future, the witch finally got the child after she turned five years old. The two lived together up in a tower, away from the rest of the world after the arsonist dad burned down the witch's old home._

Sidney groaned as his surroundings rapidly changed once more.

Glaring around, he came to see the place actually looked like a cozy little home. "Lovely, where am I now?" With a look down at his cloak, he cringed, "Still stuck in this asinine fairy tale…"

_Due to the plants that had resulted in the circumstances of the witch's assumed guardianship, the little girl's name was Rapunzel._

Before him, Alice, at the age of five once more appeared with a tired look to her face while she rubbed one of her eyes, "This isn't Ali's room…" She mumbled out sleepily before she turned to look around with a yawn.

Sidney made a face from the instant he and the young girl made eye contact.

"Oh no, not another little girl…" He muttered while observing her critically. Her childish face reminded him fiercely of the Diamond Queen back in his country.

Alice's once groggy teal eyes then opened wide with excitement, "Bunny ears! Bunny ears!" The girl exclaimed before she rushed up to the man and reached her arms up at him with a smile on her face, "They look so soft and furry! Can Ali please touch them? Please! Please! Please!"

Feeling out of his element, Sidney could only grunt as he took a step back while the little girl continued grabbing at the front of his cloak animatedly.

"Now, now." He chastised her, "Is that proper manners? You can't just ask strangers to touch their ears." He held up a scolding finger her way and Alice frowned sadly.

"B-but… I want to touch them…"

"There is no need to get sad over such a trivial matter. If you want something furry to touch, I can get you some stuffed animals, okay?" He smiled warmly at her while rubbing the top of her head.

Alice reluctantly returned the expression, "Yay!"

_The witch raised Rapunzel with nothing but love and care, almost as though the girl were her daughter._

Sidney sighed heavily as he quickly walked across the room to where Alice had scurried off to, "Little one, if you continue to climb this bookcase you may fall and crack your skull, resulting in yourself being in a great deal of agony while your body wavers on the brink of life and death at which point I'll be forced to euthanize you." Gently, he wrapped his arms around her stomach and picked her off of the bookcase that she had been attempting to climb,

Alice squirmed in his grasp with a laugh, "Hehe, you're funny!"

With a finger to her lip she blinked, "Ali always gets stuck with the best people when this happens! How cool!"

"This has happened to you more than once?" Sidney questioned, though mostly to himself as he set her back down on the floor. Eyebrows inclined downward, he wiped the side of her mouth with a handkerchief, "What kind of pedophilia monster is running these stories?"

_Ahem! So Rapunzel ends up growing up to be one hot and completely legal woman. Legal. As in she isn't a child anymore. So no pedophilia going on. At all. Yeah. Her hair also grew freakishly long though I'm pretty sure it's extensions or weave or something, but it doesn't matter._

In an instant, Sidney could only watch in surprise as the child he once kneeled down before was suddenly gone and in her place was what seemed to be an older version of her.

Alice, back to her normal age stood on her feet, a clenched fist to her mouth as she coughed, "Fantastic, another story." She grumbled out in between her coughs.

Slightly grateful for having someone more proper to interact with now, Sidney got back to his feet and watched at her cautiously, "I assume this is a daily occurrence for you."

The foreigner blinked her eyes as she turned to him in surprise, "Oh. Hello, there!" Awkwardly, she let out a small laugh, "Uh, you're definitely not one of the usual guys I get stuck here with. You're a role holder, right?"

"My name is Sidney Black and I am the Prime Minister of the Castle of Diamonds." The Black Rabbit introduced himself with a polite nod.

Alice's eyes widened at the answer, one of her hands moving to her mouth in wonder while her eyes watched over at the lop sided ears on top of his head, "Oh, wow! So you're basically like another version of Peter!"

At that moment, Sidney cracked a smile and the once expressionless slate his face held was replaced with nothing irritation. From his side he pulled out a gun and Alice found her eyes widening as a gunshot rang throughout the room and smoke blew from within the exposed weapon in only a matter of seconds before she even had a chance to comprehend what was occurring.

Her hands flew up instantly in surrender while she eyed the revolver in fear, "U-uh…"

"Next time I won't miss." Sidney harshly stated causing Alice to tremble slightly, "D-did I say something wrong…?" She attempted to smile, though the terror on her face was all too expressed.

"Don't you ever compare me to that pathetic excuse for a rabbit if you know what's good for you."

_Hey, man you can't go killing off Rapunzel. You love her, remember?_

Sidney blankly blinked his eyes, "She compared me to the White Rabbit, I had no other choice."

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend you!" Alice quickly squeaked out, she could fear herself growing more terrified while she eyed him, "U-um, Mr. Narrator, what story are we in?"

_Isn't it obvious?_

"If it was I wouldn't be asking you!"

_Look at your hair._

Glancing back over her shoulder and seeing nothing but a long mess of light brown locks made her facial expression fill up with more dread.

She was in Rapunzel and judging by the other man's attire, he was obviously Dame Gothel, meaning she was _trapped _up there with him until the prince arrived.

"And I thought the Jokers being the villain was scary…" She mumbled out to herself shakily while she awkwardly hugged her body and edged away from the dark clad male that impatiently tapped his foot.

"Can we get this on with?" He irritably inquired up at the ceiling.

_Ah, yes. I was getting there! So whenever the witch came to visit Rapunzel, she would stand beneath the tower and yell 'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your long hair!'_

Sidney blinked, "No. Skip to the part with the prince now."

_What? Dude, no—_

"I'm going to make this short for your simple brain to comprehend. I do not want to be here, she does not want to be here, and both Bermuda and the Clock Maker have enough issues on their own, they don't need this being added to their lives. Just hurry up and finish this story."

Alice found herself perking up at how ruthlessly he spoke and silently allowed herself to cheer him on, but she didn't dare speak to bring his attention back to her.

_It doesn't matter because even if you don't want to do what I say, I'll just use Narrator privilege to make you do it anyways, soooo tough toenails._

When Sidney grew a doubtful look his face, Alice timidly cleared her throat, earning a plain look from the other man that made her wince slightly, though she attempted to smile politely at him, still afraid of him slinging his gun at her once more,

"What he says is true… Once he made me break into a giant's home and another time he made my friend Elliot and his boss Blood go together as a married couple." She tried to helpfully pitch in and her words made the Black Rabbit nod,

"I see…"

_Okay, great. Now that we're all on the same page—_

"You have homoerotic tendencies." Sidney decided on with a knowing gaze up at the ceiling.

Unable to help herself, Alice smacked a hand to her mouth while she attempted to stifle a laugh.

_WHAT!?_

The Narrator's voice practically shook the tower.

_HOW DID YOU COME TO THAT CONCLUSION!?_

"Isn't it obvious? You have placed at least two sets of men in a relationship. Perhaps even more that we're just not aware of yet. I can only conclude that you have erotic thoughts involving homosexuality, perhaps this is the way that you live out your fantasies?"

**Well, that certainly makes things clearer now.**

_DON'T TAKE HIS SIDE!_

Alice continued giggling madly while the Narrator began to stammer incoherently.

It took several moments until the male caught himself with a grumble,

_Remind me to never get you a role in these stories again. I can't deal with you here anymore._

"Oh, how will I ever go on?" Sidney sarcastically questioned with a roll to his eyes.

Now feeling a bit more confident, the brunette smiled the raven haired man's way, "I'm really sorry for comparing you to Peter before! I really take it back! You're _way _better than him!" After her words she continued her snickers and Sidney gave her a nod with a small smile on his face.

_You guys suck. But whatever, the show must go on. So one day, Rapunzel had her weave hanging out the window._

With his words, Alice gave Sidney a look that he shrugged at before the foreigner gave a sigh and made her way toward the single window within the room. Sitting at the edge, she managed to pull all of her bundled up brown hair out and over the edge until it hit the ground.

_That's when the prince arrived!_

Blinking, Alice peered downward and the moment she did, she felt her eyes widen in panic before she began frantically pulling all her hair back inside of the room, "Shit, shit, shit, shit!" She cursed beneath her breath while she furiously worked to get it all in as quickly as possibly

Sidney watched her in confusion, "What are you doing?"

Alice only spared him a single look over her shoulder, "The prince is Peter!"

Distantly, both could hear the White Rabbit below angrily questioning on his surroundings.

With a twitch to his eyebrow, Sidney gently moved Alice to the side in order to stick his head out the window.

The moment he saw the royally dressed role holder below, he smirked condescendingly, "So White's the prince of this fairy tale. Hah. This just proves how much of an imbecile the Narrator is when it comes to deciding character roles."

Peter, now hearing the other man's voice immediately focused his hostile aura up at the tower window, "Black, what are you doing here?" He coldly inquired.

"Playing the part of the witch in this Rapunzel tale."

A dark smile came to Peter's lips, "What a perfect part for you to play. I can't wait to get up there and kill you."

Rolling his eyes, Sidney turned back to look at Alice who was playing with her hair jadedly.

"I take it from the speed you used in order to pull your hair back into the tower that you're not too fond of White?" He arched a brow her way causing her to glance up at him curiously.

After registering his words, she let out a heavy breath, "Er… Well, it's kind of complicated, but I guess to keep it simple, I just want him to stay as far away from me as possible."

"Oh? Why's that? Please pardon my inquisitiveness."

"It's just that he's always touching me and yelling in my ear about how much he loves me. He stalks me from time to time too. Not to mention he gets so strangely possessive even though we're _not _an item and shoots people that get too close to me. It's incredibly annoying." She explained with a sigh while she scratched her cheek sheepishly.

Her words brought a smirk to the Black Rabbit's face, "Is that so? Hm… What did you say your name was again?"

"Alice…" She slowly answered right before Sidney turned back to the window.

"Oi, White, I got Alice up here all to myself." He called down to the white haired male through cupped hands.

This immediately caught the male's attention as he grunted, "You damned pest! You better not lay a single finger on her!"

"Do you plan on stopping me somehow?"

"Grr… Alice, my love! Don't worry! I'm coming for you! Just wait a bit longer!"

Not without his smirk on his face, Sidney tilted his head down, "I have you know I just finished ravaging her… I should also mention how she's already told me that I am way better than you."

"YOU BETTER GET READY TO DIE!"

Sidney pulled himself back inside of the tower right before the sound of gunshots went off and Alice winced as she visibly saw some of the stone get chipped from what she could only guess to be Peter's bullets.

The Diamonds' Prime Minister folded his arms over his chest with an incredibly smug expression to his face while he glanced back out the window when the gunshots ceased.

Slightly exasperated, Alice watched him, "You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Naturally. Oh, would you look at that, he's scaling the wall."

With his words, the brunette went beside him to peek her head out curiously.

"Ow… That looks painful…" She muttered before going back inside of the tower with a wince.

Sidney snorted, not looking away, "I bet it is. Now quick, hand me something heavy to throw at him. The witch is supposed to make the prince go blind."

Shaking her head, Alice gave him a disbelieving look, "Dare I ask why you both hate each other so badly?"

Turning back to her now, Sidney gave a snort with the arrogant smile on his lips not fading, "Do I even need a reason to hate that disgrace?"

"That's a little harsh to say."

"You're defending him?" The Black Rabbit asked, annoyance appearing to flash on his features while his hand threatened to linger at his side for his gun.

Alice straightened up and waved her hands in front of her body quickly, "A-ah! No! No! There's no need for violence, right!? Ahaha.. I-I w-was just saying because… Erm… Where's the Narrator!? A little help please!?" She questioned up at the ceiling desperately.

When she received no response she tensed before looking back at Sidney, "Let's just talk about this civilly—"

"Alice, my love! I've come to rescue you!"

The two within the tower both turned around to the window in surprise as Peter pulled his way in, his eyes lit up with nothing but determination.

Sidney watched at him in disbelief before his eyes sharply began leering at him, "How did you get up here so quickly?"

While pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, Peter scoffed, "You dare doubt the love Alice and I share? You ignorant fool, with the combined power of both of our love for each other, nothing's impossible—"

"Okay, now you're just getting delusional." Alice bluntly interjected with blank eyes.

"Well, it doesn't matter now because if I'm right, I'm supposed to make you blinder than you already are, White." Sidney pleasantly stated before taking out his gun and aiming it the White Rabbit's way.

Peter returned the expression, "We'll see about that because unfortunately for you, this doesn't end happily ever after, Black." His pulled out his gun and Alice immediately shielded her head before diving for cover beneath a table.

"Where the hell is the Narrator!? Excuse me! Guns aren't G rated or whatever! Stop them!" She shouted as a stray bullet skid close to her hiding spot.

_And they all lived happily ever after._

"Die!"

"You first!"

"This isn't a happy ending!"

-.-

"And so yeah, in the end, Rapunzel pushed both of them out of the tower for being dick bags and both the witch and prince managed to survive with a couple of fractured bones. I hope that was violent enough for you." The faceless boy sighed out with folded arms.

His sister for once, gave a thumbs up his way and he couldn't help but grin at the rare form of praise.

"That was a good one. Loved the mentions of drug abuse and child abandonment."

"That wasn't exactly my input to the story, but I'm glad you liked it!" Thinking it over, he scratched his cheek, "Hm… I guess if you're up for it… I'm willing to tell you another story."

The young girl nodded her head, "Just make sure it doesn't suck."

Laughing, the male nodded, "I'll try my hardest."

**-.-**

**Beauty and the Beast is like that one request people kept telling me but for some dumb reason I kept putting it off lol**

**Then I'll see if I can pull off Romeo and Juliet (Gosh, picking the roles here will stress me out omg)**

**If you liked it, I implore you to review because I think my updating schedule will be dependent on which ever story gets the most feedback meep**


	11. The Nutcracker!

**Christmas special! Even though I'm a wee bit late, cough cough.**

**-.-**

**Chapter 11: The Nutcracker!**

"Alright, sis. Now I know the perfect tale to tell you!" The faceless male clapped his hands in anticipation causing her to tilt her head to the side in questioning.

The boy grinned widely, "In the spirit of the holidays, I'll tell you the story of the Nutcracker!"

"Spirit of the holidays?"

"Yup!"

"Big brother, it's April."

He waved her off, "Haven't you ever heard of 'Christmas in April'?"

"Isn't it 'Christmas in July?'"

He coughed into his hand, "Regardless, the show slash tale slash story will still commence! Now sit back, hold onto your plushie, and prepare to be amazed by an epic tale of romance, adventure, dance numbers, and Russian femme fatales!"

-.-

_T'was the night before Christmas and all the house was at its best. All the children were gathered at the tree, right before they were put to rest._

Alice and Black Joker, both at the ages of five and eight respectively spontaneously appeared within the hall before a giant and elegantly adorned Christmas tree was.

The brunette was the first to come to realize her surroundings were changed and instantly she began blinking owlishly about, "Again! Again! It happened again! Wow!" She clasped her hands together before looking down at her dress, "Ahhh! Ali's dress is so pretty this time!"

Black Joker clutched his head tiredly, "What the hell, man?" He gave a grunt as he looked around at the festive decorations around him, "Whoa, what the fuck? Where the hell am I?" He looked at Alice, "Who the hell are you?" His eye landed on some of the faceless children playing with toys nearby, "Who the hell are they?" He gazed down at his shirt front, "And what dick sucking loser put me in these ugly as shit clothes!?"

"Big brother! You're the same one from the first time!" Alice exclaimed with a giggle before she rushed over to encase the boy's arm in a hug.

Twitching his eye, the boy looked down at her in irritation, "No one said you could touch me, snot face."

"You're still so funny!"

"The only funny thing here is your ugly face! Get off of me!"

_Young Claire and Fritz were both at careful attention because at any moment their Godfather Drosselmeyer would be within the mention._

"Within the mention? What the fuck does that mean?" The redhead bluntly inquired to the ceiling.

Alice tilted her head to the side slightly, "Hey, hey, big brother, what does that word mean?"

Black Joker glanced at her plainly, "How do you not know what 'mention' means? Are you that stupid, brat?"

"Hey! I'm not stupid! I'm not talking about that word, I meant the one that started with an F—"

_Godfather Drosselmeyer then decided to appear and his entrance was met with nothing but good cheer._

Black Joker watched up at the ceiling blankly, "What is even going on here? Why are you speaking in suspicious rhymes?"

_Because, my dear Fritz, this is a holiday story. If things don't rhyme, I wouldn't catch the season's spirit in all of its glory._

Before he could respond, he gave a shout of pain as Alice strongly tugged on his arm with one of her fingers pointed to the door excitedly, "Big brother, look! It's a magic man!"

"Ow! Fuck! Let go of me, damn it! Are you part fucking gorilla!?" He cried out as he was dragged toward the entrance where all the other faceless children had scrambled off to in order greet the new hooded figure that stood.

Ace grinned widely as he took his hood off his head and took a further step inside, "Hello, kiddos! Have no fear; Godfather Ace is here to help get the plot moving along!

"He looks so charming and handsome!"

"He looks like a serial killer."

The Knight of Hearts took one look at the only two children in the room that possessed eyes and put a hand to his chin thoughtfully, "It seems as though the Narrators are doing a bit better with their role picking. Two little kids that aren't the Tweedle Twins, very accurate!"

The instant he glanced over at the two of them, the redhead groaned lowly with his eyes fleeting away, "Just looking at his creepy ass face is giving me gas. Fuck this shit. How the hell do I go home?"

_Godfather Drosselmeyer was quite the charm as seen from the numerous toys he had in his arms._

"That guy is shady as fuck. If he ain't selling little kids on the black market, I can guarantee you he sticks his penis in their bodies after he kills them. As if I'm going anywhere near him or his toys—AH!"

"Big brother! Let's go play with the toys!" Alice obliviously hyped as she yanked the redhead forward to the pile of toys that were at Ace's feet.

The standing brunet let out a laugh as he ruffled Alice's hair good naturedly, "You know, you remind me of a little girl I once met when I was younger!"

Alice held a stuffed bear in her arms brightly while she looked up at the older man's face with a wide smile, "Really!? Was she your childhood lover!? How romantic!" She exclaimed blissfully at the fairy tale thought.

Ace blinked, "What? No, not even close! She was some girl that died out in this bear infested forest with me this one time when I was a kid."

"W-wha?"

"You look a lot like her!" As an afterthought he held his chin, "Well, you look like her before a flesh eating bear managed to maul her face up beyond human recognition with its teeth when it tried gnawing off her head." He smiled down at her kindly, "Better be careful about going out in the woods without a weapon to protect yourself before you end up dead like her!"

As Alice's eyes began welling up in tears, Black Joker stared up at the ceiling tiredly, "Okay, so what the fuck do we do now? If this is a story like Joker told me before, then we finish the plot and go home, right?"

_That is right, Joker that isn't White._

"Alright. I admit. That was kind of clever. But how else will this story get a move on!?" He gave Alice an irritated look as she began balling over something Ace said and the Knight simply patted her head with a smile in an attempt to ease her distress, though it was clearly not working, "I'm going to go crazy. Please tell me it's over."

_Hopefully it's been kind of fun because your role is almost done. Break the Nutcracker that young Claire holds so dear, and you'll be able to leave with no fear._

"Who the hell is Claire!?" He eagerly questioned before whirling around to look at Alice who now lowered her cries to small sniffles when Ace offered her a Nutcracker.

Growling under his breath, he immediately stomped over to her and attempted to snatch away the Nutcracker, but before he could, Alice pulled it away from his reach with pursed lips.

"Hey! It's mine!" She stated to him with furrowed eyebrows.

Black Joker seethed at her in annoyance, "Give me the damn thing! I need to break it so I can peace the fuck outta here!"

"Break it!? No! Big brother Ace said it's mine! I like it, you can't!"

"Listen here you little bitch, you're going to give it to me before I—OW! Fuck!" He painfully exclaimed after Alice headbutted herself into his stomach with enough force to send him crashing to the floor.

The brunette stuck her tongue out at him, "If you're trying to bully me, try again! My big sister already taught me how to deal with bullies!"

Ace watched the display with impressed eyes, "That's a good technique you have. Though I believe the more appropriate way to deal with bullies would better be slicing their stomach open so they're left trying to keep their intestines in, but… For a kid that's impressive enough!"

Alice beamed at him, "Thank you! She said if a headbutt doesn't work just punch them in the face, but big brother already has one messed up eye, I didn't want him to get another!"

"Oh, wow, you're a very considerate little girl. Your parents raised you well."

"I'm surrounded by fucking psychopaths! As if Joker isn't enough to be around every day!" Black Joker groaned out in frustration, his hand still holding his stomach in pain from Alice's earlier attack.

Alice turned to him curiously, "Aw, don't cry, big brother! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings!"

The redhead's cheeks flushed slightly as he glared at her angrily, "I'm not fucking crying, you bitch!"

Obliviously, Alice frowned, "If you wanted to play with my toy, you just had to ask! Here you go! We can share!" She sang out happily before lowering the Nutcracker in offering to him, "So don't cry anymore, please~"

Black froze for a second, his eyes watching ahead at the five year old's smiling face before they averted to the wooden toy she had pointed down to him.

Slowly he reached his hand out in order to take it.

"Thanks, even though you're still a fucking psycho for headbutting me, this was pretty cool of you. But yeah, sucks for you because I'm still going to break it." He blankly informed her before he clutched it with both hands and pulled on it until he heard a snap, "Oops."

"Ohh… That looks pretty bad. I don't think we can fix that…"

"Waaah! You broke it! Why would you do that!?"

Letting out a maniacal cackle, Black Joker threw his head back, "Later, bitches! Hopefully I never see your shitty faces again! And if I do, I hope you're both suffering—OW! OW!"

"Why did you break it!?" Alice demanded while teary eyed as she grabbed the still grounded Joker by the collar and began shaking him violently, "It was precious to me! You broke it!"

"Precious to you!? You barely had the piece of shit for two minutes! Now let me go and get off!"

"It wasn't a piece of a chip!"

"I said piece of shit, not chip!"

"It wasn't a piece of a ship!"

"I said shit!"

"Ali doesn't know what that means!"

"It means crap!"

"Oh!"

"Your name is Ali!?"

"Yes! What's yours!?"

"Joker!"

"That's a nice name!"

"Thanks! Yours is kind of cute, I guess! Don't take it the wrong way!"

"I won't!"

"Why are we still yelling!?"

"I don't know!"

"Does the Narrator have a thing for child on child action?" Ace curiously inquired to no one in particular as he watched Alice remain straddled on top of Black Joker as the two continued shouting at one another, "Oh! I get it! The other has homoerotic fantasies and this one is into pedophilia—"

_Now! Now was the time when all the bitches in the house came to a hush for the moon was up high now with its white blush. _

The parlor now became darker and silent as all of the lights within it shut off except for the ones that decorated the large tree within and the former occupants there all disappeared.

_Young Claire emerged out from her bed, her face the perfect image of dread. She entered the parlor with her thoughts only able to harbor the thought of her precious broken Nutcracker… Nutcrackor… Er-or…_

Alice, now back to her normal age grunted as she suddenly popped up in the middle of the parlor.

She glanced up at the ceiling in annoyance, "Oh, come on now! I was just kicking Blood's butt in chess! I was about to checkmate him! You couldn't have worse timing, I swear!" Gritting her teeth, her eyes looked down at her clothes and surroundings for some sort of idea of what she was being pitted with.

"A Christmas tree?" She skeptically voiced with her eyes critically looking around, "Hm… Could it be that I'm in 'A Christmas Carol…?' Cool. Just don't make the Jokers or Ace the Ghost of Christmas Future and I should actually have some fun with this…"

_As she stepped out the clock above struck midnight and she soon found herself filled with nothing but fright._

"Oh, hey, that rhymed. Cool… Er… Wait, what was that fright part again?"

_For that area of the house was rapidly filled with mice and it was clear that they certainly weren't nice._

"Ah!" Alice cried as she jumped in surprise as a bunch of small rodents were suddenly at her feet scurrying around.

Her eyes grew wide as she watched them begin walking on two legs and begin sword fighting with toys around their size.

The tree behind her began flashing various lights and she clutched her head in realization, "The Nutcracker!"

Right after her words, Alice flinched when the sharp sensation of her skin being pierced executed over the top of her foot. Hopping backward, she gave the mouse that waved its sword up at her a glare before she watched its attention get taken away by a toy soldier.

"Rude." The foreigner mumbled before her eyes began looking around in search of the Nutcracker, "Alright, so where is he? This story needs to get a move on—"

_Just then, above the fireplace and right before her eyes, the Christmas tree began to rise in size!_

Alice let out a gurgling noise from the pit of her throat, a blank expression coming to her face, "It doesn't grow in size. I'm actually supposed to shrink."

_Excuse me, Claire, but that's not up for you to declare._

"Did you just rhyme Claire with 'clare'?"

_Don't be so arrogant, that's so irrelevant. I'm the one in control, so close your pie hole._

"Arrogant and irrelevant don't even really rhyme. Not only that, but you claim to be in control and you're doing a terrible job. As if your character role picking skills weren't bad enough, hah." She put a hand over her mouth with a condescending glance away.

_Hey! Rhyming everything isn't all fluff and dreams! It's not nearly as easy as it seems!_

"No one's asking you to rhyme."

_It's in the spirit of the holidays so my rhyming stays._

"I didn't ask for an explanation either."

_Anyways, so back to our tale before Claire made me bail, the tree began to grow ever so slow!_

Alice yawned tiredly as she watched the sights all around her begin to escalate in size gradually.

When her size shift ended, she folded her arms over her chest and watched the battle occurring between the mice and toys carry on through expressionless eyes.

"It's pretty sad to think that Wonderland's made me pretty apathetic to something like this."

Nearby, a gingerbread man body slammed one of the rodents while a rag doll was hurricanrana'd to the ground.

"Is it bad that I'd pay money to see the role holders doing this? If you want an interesting story, don't make so few role holders participate. You should get us all together."

_What? Really? I'm surprised, normally when I bring in more of you I get chastised._

"I was being sarcastic…" Alice trailed off as suddenly her eyes perked up at the sound of her voice being called.

"Alice! Alice!"

Blinking, she watched through uneasy irises as Pierce began running toward her amid the battles that were taking place on the floor. On his head was a small crown; over his shoulders was what looked to be some kind of fancy robe and in one of his hands was a knife.

"Oof!" She gasped out after he collided into her, his embrace practically knocking the wind out of her body.

Pierce frantically pulled away from her, his eyes wide with fear, "Alice! It's not safe! We need to run!"

"You're not the Nutcracker, Pierce. What are you doing?" The outsider calmly questioned him, "If anything, as the Mouse King you should be—

"Alice, it's not safe! We need to run!"

"Not safe? What makes you think that?"

Alice's eyes slowly casted off to the side where a legless gingerbread man began crawling his way back into battle with a knife stuck in his back.

She returned her gaze to Pierce, "It's all a story after all."

"B-but the cat!" He frightfully exclaimed and it immediately clicked in the brunette's mind.

"Boris is the Nutcracker? That was a little cruel, don't you think?" She questioned up to the ceiling through blank eyes.

Sighing, she returned her gaze back to the distressed dormouse, "Okay, now just calm down, Pierce… Where is Boris anyways?"

Right after her words, her head tilted to the side past Pierce's head where she saw the male in question rapidly approaching the pair.

"He's going to eat me!" Pierce wailed before he began running.

Alice released a heavy sigh as Boris shot past her and continued after Pierce, audibly giving a laugh, "It's been so long since we've seen each other, stop running so we can properly reunite!"

_Skipping all forms of prattle, the Nutcracker and Mouse King began to battle!_

The outsider gave a wince as she watched Boris pounce on the smaller male.

"Uh… I think the Mouse King is supposed to have the advantage over the Nutcracker, not the other way around."

_Ding dong, you are wrong._

"No, I'm pretty sure I'm right… God, what is he doing? Trying to use the sword as a knife? Ah, come on, Boris that'd just be plain messy… Oh, Pierce got away… And he's running… He's running back this way… And Boris caught him again…" She folded her arms over her chest while she began walking towards them tiredly, "I think I'm more cut out for this Narrator stuff than you are, honestly."

"I mean, you don't even know the storyline." Alice shook her head as she now made it over to the struggling pair.

Unmercifully, she gripped at one of Boris' ears to pull him upward, "Stop goofing off. We need to get through the story." She lightly scolded.

Boris let out a cry of pain, "Ow! Ow! Who the f—" His words stopped slowly as he looked upward at her, his golden eye shining up at her in confusion.

Alice gave him a chastising gaze, "Come on, Mr. Nutcracker, we've got a date with the Sugarplum Fairy."

"Uh… Do I know you?" He questioned curiously, hand stuck his sword to the side of Pierce's head as the dormouse gave a fearful squeak.

Alice blinked her eyes, "What are you talking about, Boris?"

_With Claire and the Nutcracker's attention taken away, the Mouse King took that chance to slay!_

Alice and Boris kept eye contact, not listening to the Narrator as Pierce then wiggled his way out from under Boris and immediately began sprinting away fearfully.

The outsider didn't look away from the Cheshire Cat that now stood to his feet, his expression now becoming interested, "You know my name?"

Nodding slowly, Alice watched up at him before he lowered himself down to sniff at her neck, "This is strange… I end up in this place dressed like a solider at like four inches tall with all these rats and toys and now this… Are you a part of this whole madness?"

"Why are you acting like this is different from usual? You were in a story just the other day—Eek!" She squeaked out as she felt his arm constrict around her waist to pull her closer.

One of his hands moved upward to touch at her chest and Alice found her face heating up immensely while he obliviously moved into her body more, "You smell good." He blankly informed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Alice cried through flustered eyes as kneed the cat eared male in the crotch.

Boris let out a string of curses while he fell to the ground clutching at his groin.

Realizing she may have hit him too hard, both of her hands flew to her mouth with apologetic eyes, "Oh my God! Sorry, I didn't mean to…"

She stopped herself, her face suddenly lighting up in realization.

"… Crack your nuts."

"Don't go making puns at my expense!" Boris gasped out painfully.

"I'm so sorry, Boris… Ah… Can you stand?" She questioned cautiously while she moved to help him up, but the male began crawling away from her as she reached.

The Cheshire Cat's hands didn't move from his crotch even as he squirmed on the ground, "Stay away from me!"

"I'm trying to help!"

"And I'm trying to crawl away!"

"But—"

"Look, if there's a person playing the Nutcracker here, it's you! Take my sword and do whatever you want, just stay away!"

"Boris, you can't just crawl away from your duties! You have to… Cat walk from them…"

"I'm done with you and your puns, Miss Ballcruncher lady, bye!"

"Wait! I didn't mean it! It just slipped out!"

_And with those amends, I must say, this wonderful tale came to an end._

-.-

"Yup." The teen nodded his head with a hand to his chin, "Claire and the Nutcracker got married sometime soon despite the Nutcracker's claim that he didn't know who the hell she was even though Claire insisted she knew him, but since she hit his balls so hard he couldn't have children. Quite a tragedy."

His sister blinked, "This didn't feel very holiday-ish at all, big brother…"

"I tried my hardest!"

"Sorry, sorry… I'm just saying it could have been done a bit better…"

Pouting slightly, his arms crossed over his chest, "Fine! I guess I'll just have to tell another one then!"

Brightening up, the little girl grinned, "Yay, yay!"

**-.-**

**Happy New Years! **

**Never would have thought the beginning of 2014 would be me getting back into the HnKnA series, pfft.**

**Also, if it isn't obvious, I used Dia!Boris here, hence why he didn't know who Alice was and what not aha.**


End file.
